Lol.....the big smooth!! I mean it's cool, I guess I am a little excited. I feel myself getting closer to her. I am still very cautious though esp after going through a D. Not sure I will ever let me guard down again or pit anyone on a pedestal.
I know it sounds super cliché to say, but I think you will find yourself letting your guard down some as you either get closer to her or if it doesn't work out with her, with someone else down the road. I felt the same way at first...no way was I letting my guard down. A couple of different guys I dated even commented on it, but I still didn't let it down. But, then when Sparky came along I did because it just felt right. Obviously everyone is different and moves at a different pace, but you might be surprised at how you will start to feel more comfortable and able to let your guard down with someone (either the Dr. or someone in the future).
Anyway, good for you and the Dr. LH's "big J smooth" thing made me laugh out loud, so thanks for that.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I am not 100% sold yet and after spending Fri and Sat with her I felt like I needed a break from seeing her. I was excited to see her Mon morning at the gym and that was fun, walking out together, etc. I do feel my anxiety dropping and I am feeling more comfortable around her. If I made a list, her pros definitely outweigh the cons by a mile. She checks off many of the boxes on my algorithm but I am not sure if we click mentally/emotionally. I think that is where I am struggling the most. I do feel though we are making progress, it's just slow.
I do feel very balanced emotionally and I know that is a good thing. I fo really believe I am a catch though so maybe that combined with all I have learned over the past 6 months has put me in this position. I really dont like the feeling of being all spun up.
I would say at this point she is probably into me more than I am into her. Tbh it was the same way with my xw when we first started dating. Hell i didnt know if i even liked her but she gradually grew on me over time and 17 years later....yadda yadda yadda.
1. She is very literal. Dry. 2. Very black and white. 3. More reserved not this bubbly, flashy, outgoing person with a wide circle of friends. 4. I am getting used to her not being blonde and 5'4. She is about 5'8 140 lbs and a size 4.
I cant think of anything else at this moment that I would say is a con or something that I am getting used to. In some ways I feel like I am retraining my brain. Well I am getting used to someone that is all over me and wants a ton of sex.
From a physical standpoint she is smoking. Dark hair, dark complexion, great body, takes care of herself, not pretentious, seems to be a good mom, lives close to me, loves sex and wants to do it non stop. Heck she wanted to gonscrew in the car Friday night after dinner but before the movie. She is a giver, she has never really made me question her motives with dating other men, etc. Doesnt seem to play games, educated, has a good career, has a relationship with God. Is very affectionate, touching me, rubbing my chest, holding my hand. I could go on with the pros.
So, just curious, is the list a list of cons or is it just things that you need to get used to?
I find it interesting that when you describe all of her positive attributes you say she doesn't seem to play games and yet in reading some of your other threads, the general consensus among male posters is that all women play games. Some of us have even said we don't and you all have said oh but you do because everyone does, even if you don't do it consciously. So, what is it about the good Dr. that makes you think she is the one who doesn't play games?
She sounds pretty great to me, so I'm glad that you met her and hope it continues to progress in a good direction for both of you.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
D...prob more things I need to get used to. I think she prob did to some degree early on but I never got this impression she had alternative motives. It felt like we were both aligned in that regard with wanting to meet someone vs just dating around with multiple people. She seemed very honest and up front with her actions.
The other thing that is cool is that our lifestyles seem to be aligned. Our kids are the same age and since she owns her own practice she is not looking to travel the world or live this extravagant lifestyle. She has never given me the impression that even though she is a dr she is looking for something that I cant give her. I have realized through my dating experiences that lifestyles being in alignment is very critical.
As a suggestion - instead of the regular dinner and nookie - why not "do something" together? That will let you know if you get along when you're not horizontal or whatever angle you young people do that stuff at these days.
Maybe go to the shooting range.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
