Holy heII was I gone getting some work done for 6 hours or 6 days? Once again Josephs place is where all the action is.
Originally Posted by LH19
Well Don if you must know I am having a problem finding a quality woman right now, though I have only been at if for 5-6 months. I'm not sure I would consider it on the same level as you because if I am still single, bitter and jaded 14 years from now I probably will have joined a monastery.
That was a bit harsh. I'm not sure I'm bitter and jaded then again after as many years as I've had without finding a quality R I may have a right to be. Yet I'm still nowhere near joining a monistary. It's not like I've not had dates or sex during this time just not a fulfilling LTR with a quality woman.
Perhaps that was not the defensive retort I took it as but what I really question is why you seem to take comments about or against the coach personally? None of us are saying these things about you. It's almost as if you really secretly are the coach and we are bashing your book. It's not the case. Just because we question him should have no bearing on you - but it really seems to. Why?
Originally Posted by LH19
I really don't have time to start my own thread because I spend too much time hijacking Js thread defending the All Mighty One lol. I do have a date with a new girl on Saturday so we shall see.
Of course nothing says you have to post and I and others value your input as you have been giving it. That said, bitter or jaded or whatever, I've been putting it all out there. It's easy to wait until I have a success story to tell and then post but hopefully others learn from my mistakes. And I don't know how to say this and not have it sound like a cheap shot and it's really not but not telling us how all of your dates have gone is a great way to not have to at least consider the coaches teachings are not working that well for you either. You'd be spending even more time defending. I just hope after a dozen or so women who didn't follow the playbook if you find one that dies you then say, see it worked - the coach was right - because so far he doesn't seem to be coming through for you either. That would truly be cherry picking. Mostly I think we'd learn a lot from your trials just as we do from Josephs. Hopefully you'll reconsider.
Thank you for opening your life to us warts and all Joseph. It's nice to share in a positive one with you. And I'll say it again remember how all over you we were with the first many women? That's not been the case with the latest one - for good reason! Well done.
Now this child support crap - and that's what it is in Josephs case - crap. I can't begin to understand how if kids are with mom 15 days a month and with dad 15 days a month dad still pays and mom doesn't. How is that possible? That's not child support - that's spousal support plain and simple. I don't know if you had a bad attorney or just agreed to something you now regret? If a judge forced this that stinks. It costs X dollars a day to support a child. If one spouce makes less he or she needs to get a better job. Why should the other spouce make up the difference? I'm all for paying for my half - MY HALF. The fact I make more money should have zero to do with it. Then again we live in a world where the "rich" should pay a higher percentage if taxes - just cuz they can. This seems like the same flawed mentality. It's all about being "FAIR". Don's rules for life #14 (and I really do have this list - 15 of them) anyhow #14 is "Fair is the other F word."
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
But if you want a relationship or female companionship from a female that is considered higher quality, you have to put the red pill stuff away. the other option for red pill guys is to go after women with lower senses of self esteem or that are not that bright.
So if I understand correctly, only high quality women want a relationship and they are not capable of wanting anything less than a relationship, or women with lower senses of self-esteem or not that bright do not want a relationship? Yes you do have to act differently towards a high-quality female, but I don't feel many of them exist. To me a high-quality female is what other people would call a unicorn. Also red pill to me is a man who knows how women act and is bitter towards them, I am not bitter towards them. I understand it may sound like I'm bitter towards them but I really am not.
Also, are you saying fast food workers are not needed or are not important? To me it's about not what you do but whether or not you have a passion for it. You can make a change in someone's life at any job.
I would now consider me having a passion for life, not solely for women.
M:43 W:33 M:10 T:11 D:6 BD 8/12/17 Divorce Final 1/23/2019
In Texas they call it offset child support. I spoke with a buddy of mine that did this with 50/50 and my friend who is a judge as well. According him if there is an income difference someone always pays. If I didn’t have 50/50 it would be double. It didn’t really bother me at first but more removed from my Xw I get it really stinks.
To be fair she is a teacher,the money comes to about 10k per year. I am in our family home but she had to move to a 2 bedroom condo on the other side of town because that is all she could afford and shehasnocarpaymentbe abuse I gave her the one that was almost paid off in the divorce. So right now she is set up but add in a car payment and a few other bills and who knows.
But yeah it [censored].
I am open to a R, I don’t need one but I do love and miss women. I have never been a playboy, more of a one woman type of man and I don’t feel the need to date 100s of women before I settle down. If it is the dr then cool. If it’s not cool to I just know that eventually it will happen. I am a little scared, I do get some anxiety when I am with the dr. Maybe I am nervous about a R. After being with 1 woman for so long it is hard to get used to someone else.
Np DH......I know people benefit and I can take the heat. I am not a perfect person by any means but I do try to be the best person I can be. I have been very lucky, blessed, and fortunate in my life. We might be on different paths but in many ways our journeys are the same. We all went through the same traumatic experience and it is to journal, share, and learn from everyone else. I don’t know if the dr is the one but there are too many things that make sense for me just to ignore them and not explore what becomes of it. This does seem normal and so far she seems normal as well. Outside of getting lazy in my marriage I was good husband, I am a good father, and I know there is a lot of love I have to give.
But if you want a relationship or female companionship from a female that is considered higher quality, you have to put the red pill stuff away. the other option for red pill guys is to go after women with lower senses of self esteem or that are not that bright.
So if I understand correctly, only high quality women want a relationship and they are not capable of wanting anything less than a relationship, or women with lower senses of self-esteem or not that bright do not want a relationship? Yes you do have to act differently towards a high-quality female, but I don't feel many of them exist. To me a high-quality female is what other people would call a unicorn. Also red pill to me is a man who knows how women act and is bitter towards them, I am not bitter towards them. I understand it may sound like I'm bitter towards them but I really am not.
Also, are you saying fast food workers are not needed or are not important? To me it's about not what you do but whether or not you have a passion for it. You can make a change in someone's life at any job.
I would now consider me having a passion for life, not solely for women.
I dont define a "high quality woman" as a woman that only wants a marriage. I define her as a woman that respects herself and only tolerates respect from others. A women that treats other with respect as well. These are the women that have more going for them and are considered desirable.
A low quality woman is the one you have to worry about impregnating herself from used condoms (as you brought up). And that bring on crazy drama - like ex boyfriend calling you up because they are not being honest - cheaters, narcissists, crazy etc.
I never said any thing about fast food workers. I said that a fast food job is a low quality job. Low wages. No benefits. Poor working conditions. No one voluntarily takes a job like that unless they have no other options. Most people strive for union jobs or a profession.
Men that dont really want to strive or that have no other option will go for low quality women. A high quality women is going to see through games and BS, like testing them at car wash dates. They know that because they are quality women men will treat them well and with respect. Not showing appreciation for a high quality female that you are sleeping with on a holiday meant for romance is disrespectful. If Joe was struggling and could not afford it, thats a different story. But its not the case here.
This thread just keeps getting more interesting. Getting vasectomies for the off chance some crazy woman steals your sperm from a condom and inseminates themselves..... good lord. I hope that is a joke.
I believe in offset child support. It's the same in my state. Equality for the kids in the homes are important. Take a scenario you have a wife who pretty much sacrificed so the husband could build his career. She wroks part time as say, a receptionist. Now the couple divorces and they have the kids 50/50. The kids should live on barely nothing at moms and live the life at dad's? No, that isn't fair. The friend who doesn't have his kids equally but travels and obviously makes big bucks. I am sure the wife sacrificed there so he could travel and make the big bucks. Hell yeah, the kids should have a Mercedes at mom's house too! The ex wife should be too! I am sure without her sacrifice, he wouldn't be making those big bucks. The kids shouldn't be living way below the means of dad's house at mom's house. I have friends who raised their kids while the men built their careers. The men admit they wouldn't have gotten to where they were today without their wife's support when they were out at late night client dinners or travelling on business or working 12 hour days. They deserve equality when they split. Sure, we all know in the name of infidelity , it stinks. when one wants divorce and the other doesn't. But unfortunately our system can't weigh upon that. One partner might have cheated, but we don't know that the other partner was simply awful and violated their vows in other ways. The law can't decide that, so I think the child support laws do their best to equalize. And those who abuse should be ashamed. ANd this is coming from a woman where if we had 50/50, I would be paying him while he has two incomes in his home and I was raising our daughter on one. Also from a woman who had to pay 57% of the daycare because she earned more. He left a high paying job for the lower paying job because his would have "us" set in retirement. Well, guess hwo is set in retirement at the age of 55 now. NOT ME! And I have to alternate tax years because even though I have her more, he pays his pittance of child support, so he gets claim half of the time. Figure that out. But my daughter lives well at both homes without either parent having to live like a pauper.Just be happy your kids are living just as good the other 50% of the time. Because if they weren't, then I would be raising heck.
The problem I see is that there are laws that dictate the percentage that one pays but there are no laws that dictate how the person receiving the money spends it. Ok if I give a 1000 a month but it only costs 500 then the other 500 should be put into savings, a college fund or something for the kids.
Oh, but it does. When they figured it out, didn't you list all household expenses? to maintain a proper lifestyle for your kids over there including that's how they calculate. .A portion of that money goes towards the roof over their head at their mom's. J- do you feel like it isn't getting spent on your kids? Is the mom's home crappy? Is she driving a broken down car? Do they set the heat at 60? Are your kids not benefiting from the money? DO you truly feel like it's the kids money that got her boobs? Do your kids have nice clothes, eat nice meals, does she take them out for treats when they deserve it? Has she claimed she hasn't had enough money to take the girls to do something fun? LIke I have said, a guage of the money being misued is this stuff not happening. Ill fitting clothes, ramen noodles, a broken down car, a car that isn't safe, all the while mom is vacationing and getting plastic surgery. That's how you know your money is being not spent on the kids. CHild support isn't just for food and clothes. It's to make sure they have a good roof over their head, a warm home, and a safe transportation.
ANd J, I truly do feel for you if she is misusing that money and your girls aren't living the same quality life over there as they do by you. That would be really really sh!tty of her.
No household expenses were listed. It was 25% of her net and 25% of my net and I make up the difference. My kids are taken care of at both places but she is able to do a lot more with them than I am. For example, she flew herself and the girls out to Cali for thanksgiving. I can’t afford to do that. She is able to take them shopping every week. I can’t do that. There are other things as well that she does with them that I can’t afford to do. I am glad they are happy but my oldest has made comments about what they do with mommy and obviously they have no idea I give her money each month. I guess if the man wasn’t suppose to pay for dates then I guess that would help some .
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