LOL. Thank God Rex took the pressure off me with that statement.
You send your wife/girlfriend roses no doubt but not someone you have been on six dates and are not exclusive with.
Listen, I'm telling you how to succeed with women. You don't have to follow my advise. But I guarantee that you just give the woman that waited 6 dates to sleep with you a card, and she will find another guy. A lot of guys at this age are willing to go that extra mile. So you put yourself out of the competition by looking cheap.
I will tell you that if a woman leaves you because of this, because of a card instead of roses then she was not for you and you should move on. She has no true value of your worth.
Rex
In theory maybe. But that's kind of the real world. You guys don't have to be part of it. This chick is good looking and a professional and she has class. Shes not hooking up with guys in bar room bathrooms. She is also not needy and begging for attention and love.
I could say the same thing about my job. " Hey, if they make me come in on a snow day that is ridiculous. I'm just gonna move on and find a job that accepts my refusal to drive in bad weather. They don't deserve me as a great staff member"... Hah! There are tons of people out there looking for a job. They would fill that spot in a matter of weeks.
I understand why child support is necessary and if 1 parent has primary, full time custody then yes I get it. The only reason why I am paying is because of a wage difference. Her and I share in the same amount of expenses for the girls but in addition to those shared expenses I am also giving her money each month. So I essentially have all of her expenses plus an additional 850 a mth to boot. That is what i dont think is fair but it is what it is if there is a wage discrepancy someone is paying.
Well since they are not exclusive, what if another guy she is sleeping with sends her 2 dozen roses then what?
Is this a math problem? Because then she gets 3 dozen roses. But she will go with the guy she really wants to be with. The amount of roses doesn't count. Or if theya re even roses. It's the thought. ANd if you had no thought and the other guy had a thought, she would be judging you by the fact you weren't thoughtful, not by the fact she didn't receive roses.
Get it?
And yes, flowers are crazy expensive on V-day.
My exFF got me roses on V-day 4 days after we went on our first date. I found it sweet. He got me wine and a bear too. ANd his thought behind it...… he knew I hadn't gotten anything like that in a long time. He wanted me to feel special. ANd I appreciated it.
Rex, what do you propose the law be changed to regarding child support? 17% for 1 child is really not a lot - plus there is more to the calculation based on both salaries. Personally, I think they should look more at who chose to leave the marriage, affairs, addictions that took up a lot of money. But that is probably not realistic and would cost too much in court fees.
honestly, I have no Idea what the law should be changed to because they are trying to generalize something in which each situation is different and personal. Some spouses pay some spouses dont, some spouses are good parents some are not. You know you could have the CS go into a pool like say snap and have the kids shop at stores where the kids can get clothing and food, but then again that wouldnt work for some people either.
Child support came about to preserve in a divorce what the nucleus of a family should be, which at the time was the dad being the breadwinner and the mother being the housewife. to try and keep the same status for the child in both homes.
As it is now people are almost rewarded to get divorced than stay married. Even the tax law now, if me and my ex filed together for 2018 we would get 5k back, if we filed separately and I claim my daughter i would get 6.7k back and my ex owes $200, and if my ex claims my daughter she gets about 4k back and I come out about owing 1k. Luckily its my turn to claim my child.
The thing CS is a disadvantage for the man, because they have no say whether the child be born, yet still will have to pay child support if they dont get 50/50 custody or if they make more money.
What about the man who had a one night stand with a crazy woman and he uses a contraceptive but the woman gets it out and still uses the sperm to get pregnant. Should he have to pay child support? I recommend to all young men i meet to get a vasectomy, because they can get it reversed and they are in control of pregnancy at that point. They are no longer at the whims of an emotional woman, who might be trying to use them as a paycheck. And i am not saying all women are like this. They are however protected from the women who are like this.
M:43 W:33 M:10 T:11 D:6 BD 8/12/17 Divorce Final 1/23/2019
I have a buddy of mine that is a good day but travels for work so he couldnt do 50/50. He pays his xw 2300 a mth for their two daughters that are around my kids age. Does anyone think a 9 and 7 yr old have 2300 a month in expenses??? Oh she also has a brand new Mercedes:)
Well since they are not exclusive, what if another guy she is sleeping with sends her 2 dozen roses then what?
That is why he should be dating other women, he would have options. she would get 2 dozen roses from one guy and a card from another. you keep true to your frame and be your confident self. No need to compete with other men when there are millions of single ladies out there.
If she came back and threw it in my face saying I got two dozen roses from this guy and you gave me a card. I would just say thats nice of him, a card from me though is worth more than two dozen roses from that other guy, and if you cant see that, then that is your issue not mine. Then I would say, you go have your fun and ill see you around and i wouldnt contact her again unless she initiated contact with me first and then I would make her work for it. I have no issue with seeing a woman who can be dating other men, I just dont want to know about them.
M:43 W:33 M:10 T:11 D:6 BD 8/12/17 Divorce Final 1/23/2019
Rex - and LIH, you both like to talk all this red pill reddit - alpha male stuff...
But i am confused cause it sounds like you want to reverse the roles and have the female court you??? But thats not alpha male. I dont know what that is. More like a chip on the shoulder?
LIH, maybe its not the coach but how u are interpreting the coach? Rex, i can see why that red pill approach might appeal to a guy that was hurt and treated badly by his ex spouse. ( I dont know your sitch, but am assuming that as you post here) But you miss out on relating to a woman as a human being. Your gonna scare away nice girls with those types of demands and tests and from straying from universal and probably evolutionary based male/female dynamics in courtship.
The girls that did that courting with J are kind of messed up. A nice girl will love the valentines day gesture and will reciprocate on a birthday or something else.
Rex - and LIH, you both like to talk all this red pill reddit - alpha male stuff...
But i am confused cause it sounds like you want to reverse the roles and have the female court you??? But thats not alpha male. I dont know what that is. More like a chip on the shoulder?
LIH, maybe its not the coach but how u are interpreting the coach? Rex, i can see why that red pill approach might appeal to a guy that was hurt and treated badly by his ex spouse. ( I dont know your sitch, but am assuming that as you post here) But you miss out on relating to a woman as a human being. Your gonna scare away nice girls with those types of demands and tests and from straying from universal and probably evolutionary based male/female dynamics in courtship.
The girls that did that courting with J are kind of messed up. A nice girl will love the valentines day gesture and will reciprocate on a birthday or something else.
That would make sense except I am not hurt by my ex. I understand why she did what she did. I just no longer need to have a woman in my life. I am living for me and if a woman comes along and wants to be a part of that then great. If not then thats great also. I accept women for who they are and am no longer shocked by the actions that they take. They are going to do what they are going to do and I accept that I can not control that nor do I want to control that. However, just because they act the way they do sometimes, does not mean that I will put up with it. I know my value as a man.
Its not about tests or demands, just a value set on time. and my time is scarce.
Btw what is a nice girl now a days? Because in my opinion women can act all sorts of ways it just depends on the guy she is interacting with and her interest level in him.
Originally Posted by JujuB
I could say the same thing about my job. " Hey, if they make me come in on a snow day that is ridiculous. I'm just gonna move on and find a job that accepts my refusal to drive in bad weather. They don't deserve me as a great staff member"... Hah! There are tons of people out there looking for a job. They would fill that spot in a matter of weeks.
That doesnt mean they would be as good as an employee as you are.
There are tons of people out there looking for relationships and marriage, yet there are still single people out there.
M:43 W:33 M:10 T:11 D:6 BD 8/12/17 Divorce Final 1/23/2019
They might not be as a good employee as i am, but they might be as well. I would have to have a huge ego and unrealistic view of the world to think that I am unreplaceable. I want to maintain by job so i follow the rules. In order to obtain my job. I knew i had to put my best foot forward. Extra work in the beginning, that i was not always compensated for. Thats life. I need and want a job.
Now if you don't want or need female compansionship or a relationship with a high quality female you can certainly act the way you guys advise.
But if you want a relationship or female companionship from a female that is considered higher quality, you have to put the red pill stuff away. Those guys on those forums are usually anti marriage and often recommend prostitutes or escorts. (Im not opposed. Makes sense for some guys) the other option for red pill guys is to go after women with lower senses of self esteem or that are not that bright. The tactics they preach do work on those women, and again makes sense for some guys.
But Joseph has not indicated hes after that. He seems to want a woman he can relate to and a positive role model for his daughters. He doesnt seem to need a relationship, but he seems open to one with the right woman.
I cant edit here but want to add to the first paragraph on jobs cause its a good analogy...
Now if i didnt care about a profession, just wanted a job like working in a fast food joint. I would not have to follow the rules as much, as those jobs are a dime a dozen and they are desperate for workers that dont show up stoned. But i dont want that type of a job. I want to show up to a job that challenges me intellectually. That i feel needed and important in. One in which i can make a real difference in peoples lives. Thats why i respect the people i work for and with and follow the work culture.
