With the child support, is her income more than yours now?
Thankfully your kids seem to be happy and the money is going towards them.
My ex has more money to take her on vacations because they have two incomes rolling in and their mortgage is less than mine. But hey, my daughter got to go on a carribean cruise last year while I worked!
And I don't believe the man is supposed to pay for dates. I would say M and I are pretty even right now with me perhaps even paying the majority. I am pretty sure I make more, even though my expenses are higher. He's got the real raw deal. He wants an even 50/50, but his ex is awful. She makes more, so he has to pay child support.
Wow I go to a meeting with one of my customers and I come back and this place has blown up.
Here is my perspective from the standpoint of a guy who receives CS.... 50/50 custody and our child expense split is 60/40 Her/Me. We also arranged the CS she pays me to have as little impact on her monthly cash flow because she [censored] at money and I need her to be just okay at money So she pays me a c-note every month and I get to claim the kids on my taxes.
XW makes more than me and because of what we do her ceiling is a lot higher than mine. I am hamstrung because we moved back to our home state and she decided to have an EA at her new job and divorce me. I could make equal and in the near term more than her if I was working in the state we came from. So now I am working on a side hustle with the hope that I can make some more money. What eats at me and makes me angry is that I take the CS because I need it not because I want it. It's a weeks worth of groceries, but I hate taking effing money from her. It feels disgusting. My goal is to make enough $$$ down the road to drop CS and have a true 50/50 split. Getting a divorce is too easy and entering a marriage isn't hard enough.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
This thread just keeps getting more interesting. Getting vasectomies for the off chance some crazy woman steals your sperm from a condom and inseminates themselves..... good lord. I hope that is a joke.
Isn't it the NBA that teaches new players to flush or pocket condoms for later disposal because of the crazies impregnating themselves?
Sh!tty people do sh!tty things regardless of their sex.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
Take a scenario you have a wife who pretty much sacrificed so the husband could build his career. She wroks part time as say, a receptionist. Now the couple divorces and they have the kids 50/50. The kids should live on barely nothing at moms and live the life at dad's? No, that isn't fair. The friend who doesn't have his kids equally but travels and obviously makes big bucks. I am sure the wife sacrificed there so he could travel and make the big bucks. Hell yeah, the kids should have a Mercedes at mom's house too! The ex wife should be too! I am sure without her sacrifice, he wouldn't be making those big bucks. The kids shouldn't be living way below the means of dad's house at mom's house. I have friends who raised their kids while the men built their careers. The men admit they wouldn't have gotten to where they were today without their wife's support when they were out at late night client dinners or travelling on business or working 12 hour days. They deserve equality when they split.
Why is it the woman who made the sacrifice?
My XW told me it was her lifelong dream to be able to stay home for the 10 year period while her kids were in their pre-school years. She didn't think it would be possible because she figured she'd have to provide for them. I was already making the income when we met I am making now, so I told her I'd provide so she could stay home with the kids.
So for 10 years I worked my a$$ off, and I saw my children much less while they were growing up, so she could not punch a clock and spend her full life with the kids during their formative years, which is what she dreamed of doing. Was I not the one making the sacrifice of working hard and not being able to be as close to my kids? Why am I not being compensated for the loss of those irreplaceable years and the endless hours I put in?
Of course as soon as the youngest was in school XW found another man and filed for divorce, and yes, while I have 50% parental time, I have had to pay so much it crippled my lifestyle without impacting hers. I worked double time for 10 years to grant her wish, and so to be fair I have to continue to work double time, along with losing my home and wiping out my retirement for legal fees.
Now look, the kids have gotta eat at both parents' houses and they need both parents in their life. But the pendulum has swung pretty far when this is the social narrative. That's what red pill means to me. I'm not bitter, I've never been better. It's just not that complicated. I don't gamble at the casino because I understand for every $100 I bet I win back only $97, it is a bad game for the players. That doesn't make me bitter at the casino. I'd just rather stick to online chess...
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
I'll add this note- I felt I was being generous. If I had known how this would financially expose me and frankly financially enable her to destroy our marriage I wouldn't have allowed her to stay at home. I would've said "Sorry toots, I love you and want to take care of you, but that will allow you to destroy my life in 10 years, so I'm going to insist you put the kids in day care and go to work and prioritize your career so you're not holding something over my head..."
Not really, it just doesn't make any sense to me that the rules work this way. OK, I get it, my voice isn't going to matter and reality works how it works. I just get to decide what moves I make given the rules. I can handle that.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
This thread just keeps getting more interesting. Getting vasectomies for the off chance some crazy woman steals your sperm from a condom and inseminates themselves..... good lord. I hope that is a joke.
Isn't it the NBA that teaches new players to flush or pocket condoms for later disposal because of the crazies impregnating themselves?
Sh!tty people do sh!tty things regardless of their sex.
True but what about the regular Joe smoe who wasnt aware that women actually pull this stuff. If a man pokes holes in his condom the woman can still abort. If a woman pokes holes in his condom he cant force her to abort. Or if she lies and tells him she is on the pill when she really isnt.
M:43 W:33 M:10 T:11 D:6 BD 8/12/17 Divorce Final 1/23/2019
Yes you do have to act differently towards a high-quality female, but I don't feel many of them exist. To me a high-quality female is what other people would call a unicorn.
I would now consider me having a passion for life, not solely for women.
Since I've said similar things it will come as little surprise that I wholeheartedly agree. I would just maybe change it to a SINGLE high quality woman is a unicorn.
I also am finding more and more that most woman want a relationship - certainly a lot more than many guys, at least in the age range I'm in. I swear I hear or read over and over from mostly women they do not want to serial date or hook up or FWB or the like. I don't see nearly as many guys saying that. It's like a guy not looking for an R has little chance. So they then tell these women what they want to hear, while still doing what they want. This further jades everyone.
So what's the chances of finding a unicorn.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
This thread just keeps getting more interesting. Getting vasectomies for the off chance some crazy woman steals your sperm from a condom and inseminates themselves..... good lord. I hope that is a joke.
Isn't it the NBA that teaches new players to flush or pocket condoms for later disposal because of the crazies impregnating themselves?
Sh!tty people do sh!tty things regardless of their sex.
True but what about the regular Joe smoe who wasnt aware that women actually pull this stuff. If a man pokes holes in his condom the woman can still abort. If a woman pokes holes in his condom he cant force her to abort. Or if she lies and tells him she is on the pill when she really isnt.
The basical biological function of sex is reproduction. Until science comes up with male birth control then pregnancy will always the potential outcome of the act and the final decision of the woman. You can only be responsible for yourself if you aren't prepared to conceive a child then wrap it up or don't do it.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
Finally on the coach. I do think he is more right than wrong. Maybe what he teaches is obvious but to a newcomer on the dating scene I had no clue. Obviously he is no Poe or Longfellow and he might come across to Bro or like a salesman but put all of that aside his ideas or ideas he has learned and repackaged as his own are generally on point.
He does not specifically address dating with kids and I do think a lot of what he teaches is catered towards people who are single that can very easily just make a date when the woman reaches out. I do think staying off the phone and seeing the person face to face is a great concept in theory however with kids you just cant make a date ever time she calls and it is almost impossible to stay off the phone.
The dr is still not blowing up my phone after 6 dates and sex however when I make plans with her now she has progressed to wanting to see me more than 1 time per week. I had to reach out to her a little more to get her to start warming up more. So I will usually either reach out 1 time in the morning or 1 time at night depending on what I did last. I reached out to her last night so I did not do anything this morning. So tomorrow morning I will prob text her although we are meeting up tonight. I am still very careful to not blow up her phone but so far what I have been doing is working which isn't exactly what the coach would say to do.
I will say though when I did reach out to her yday and asked when she was available she pretty much knew what she wanted with tonight, and sat night. Seeing me more than 1 time this week is all her idea.
