Ginger...so wrong choice of words. When I said "her" I should have been more clear to say CHANCE with her which is what I always meant.
Anyway we texted yesterday so who knows what's up. Just living my life assuming this detour is over.
LH...yep I get it. I've done the OLD plenty in the best and have had it happen. This one was not an OLD and was her coming after me not the other way around. Like I just said who knows what's up with her...I'm just going to continue doing my thing focusing on me. If she comes back around just have to see where it goes from there.
And meanwhile I am reading through Corey's book. I was definitely not prepared for this lady to come out of the blue so I know I made mistakes. Would like to be more prepared if another lady comes around in the future.
Hi Ballast, I hope I have time to write later because I have a lot to say about your situation. The good thing is you discovered you can have feelings for another woman. Even if it doesn't work out you made good progress!
Hi Nicole...hope to hear what you have to say! :-)
Oh for sure good came from this encounter no matter how it ultimately turns out. I had a very attractive, MUCH younger lady interested in me AND as you say I have now found out twice since my WW that I can have feelings for other women.
Definitely seeing this only as a good thing for me and my future.
You should also consider picking up Shawn T Smith's book. He is a clinical psychologist PhD who writes about how men should look for and understand red flags in women. I feel like it should be a must read for any male LBS here who is post-D / moving forward.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
Thanks TF I will check it out. You know it's kinda funny to me. For sure both she and I got way ahead of ourselves, but we did both admit it. So speed yeah for sure a red flag, but she did exhibit many positive, mature traits during our communication.
Again who knows what's up at this point. We had a brief enjoyable text yesterday, she said sorry to me about not wanting to talk while drunk earlier last week...which she didn't need to apologize for...anyway, detaching as I know how to do, had another great day/night out yesterday with friends and more planned for the weekend. moving forward.
Instead of playing the text game why don't you/haven't you set up a date?
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
TF no date set for two reasons 1) she's 2 hours away and 2) the 1st time when I didn't have D4 she already had plans.
With distance and my custody with D4, limits the when a bit.
I’m really not trying to bust your balls and I’m only speaking from experience.
Why would you pursue a situation like this? I’ve put myself in the same exact spot and it doesn’t work. Especially When young kids are involved. And a younger partner .
You can even have a first date. And I imagine the second is going to be super difficult too.
I know I seen the mean woman deflating you here, but if I could help one person learn from my experiences and save them some grief, I’m sure going to try.
Ginger...LOL honestly I know you aren't! BUT at the same time I DO appreciate what you are saying AND I am taking in what you're saying. There was a part of me that was like "Dang Ginger is kicking my A!" but from being on here a year knowing how we try to help each other AND that I need a good kicking from time to time...I know your words come from the best of intentions to help me out so no worries!
Thing is right now...no matter what comes of this experience, I needed it and I've learned alot from it already. Specifically:
1. Young, pretty ladies are attracted to me 2. I'm attracted/interested in other ladies 3. I've learned how to manage my texting 4. I've gotten some exp being a single Dad while talking to new ladies 5. From my WW sitch and detaching/GALing, I've become more alpha in this new situation. She has stopped talking, but I'm not pursuing and am totally cool just doing my own thing no matter what happens with her. 6. I've learned how I need to be less open book and more mysterious about me when meeting new ladies. 7. How to grow attraction by being less available
So I know, long distance and D4...snowball chance in H on this one, but now I'm thinking no matter how this turns out, the experience is one I needed to maybe prepare me for a more realistic someone next time. And, given I'm in no rush to get back to being married or anything like that, if she and I did meet up and had some fun, that would be a positive to me as well. She and I both were very much aware of the distance making anything serious HIGHLY difficult.
