Thanks, but I would appreciate no further updates on W. I am moving on with my life and since we are soon to be divorced I would prefer not to hear what she is up to and what she is doing.
But Aunt, how are you? I miss you? Want to have lunch sometime?
BM
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
neffer - GAL is going fine. She's been gone over a year now, S lives with me, and things have been pretty calm for the most part since I'm avoiding W every way I possibly can.
Steve85 - Man, you know, I hadn't actually talked to aunt in a while. She messaged me, and honestly whatever happens to W is totally on her. She's not sending me info like she used to for sure, and that's been a nice thing. But if W is preg, then that's going to put a serious hold on the D. I'm ready for it to be over already, but it keeps getting pushed back (at least now it's due to atty time conflicts with trial dates). Nothing about W shocks me anymore, and at this point, if she's preg, I can probably just laugh since it's definitely not my child, and there's zero question about that.
I guess that's the upside to detaching. No matter what it is, I'm not really going to be all that shocked (unless she's dying or something, which would be a bad thing). Nothing else will actually be that surprising that I can think of.
I'm mentally ready to hear literally anything at this point: preg, engaged, std, whatever. Not my problem at all.
In fact, because she's so likely NPD, it also wouldn't shock me if she tried to come back when she makes a big enough mistake and expects me to bail her out of it. That's highly unlikely at this point.
I've come a very long way. I can't say that I'm past the hurt, because honestly it still hurts. I don't think I'm ever going to be the way I was before her. Nothing in my life has ever hurt as much as this did. But that doesn't mean I can't be happy and make the best of things for S and I. And that's what I plan to do.
In a way, I hope she's ok. But in a way, I also just don't care anymore. I don't know if that's good or bad, but it is what it is.
I had a friend in a similar situation he hoped his ex would see sense and he was willing to bring up the child as his own . She appeared one day with a month old baby and cried because her new man had been angry with her . It got very messy when she went back to her new man 2 1/2 weeks later . Protect you son
There is a great post from coach somewhere . Join a team , maybe a sports challenge event to raise money for disabled people . Join the unlikeliest one you can and help them achieve with you helping, show your son what you are made of
Steve85 - State laws. This state won't grant a divorce while a parent is pregnant here because they have a presumption of paternity, even though I can give them the date of the last time we did stuff and prove that if she is, it's not my child.
Tryhard - I will always protect my S. We don't really do sports, but we both have guitars. I have no plans to raise someone else's child. So, if it turns out that she is pregnant...well, that's going to be an interesting bridge to nuke when we get there.
Good for you , I just get the feeling that the situation is leaving you clinging. Drop the rope and be the best dad you can . We as people can sense someone’s pain . Find something that you and son can do that will make amazing memories. Look I don’t know you , you do , find it and do it , you’re a great guy , you don’t deserve what you’ve been handed , but you can shine if you let go and let yourself!!
Steve85 - State laws. This state won't grant a divorce while a parent is pregnant here because they have a presumption of paternity, even though I can give them the date of the last time we did stuff and prove that if she is, it's not my child.
I'd look into this. I am not sure that law applies to spouses that are separated, especially when the one pregnant has another person. So don't assume. Talk to your lawyer.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I'd look into this. I am not sure that law applies to spouses that are separated, especially when the one pregnant has another person. So don't assume. Talk to your lawyer.
I have. I'm definitely not assuming. The state will not grant a divorce until the child is born and paternity is established.
I have no plans to raise someone else's child. So, if it turns out that she is pregnant...well, that's going to be an interesting bridge to nuke when we get there.