I totally agree on all accounts. He is a little terror and is definitely more of a challenge than I could have imagined. I have had 2 puppies and they had puppies, and they were nothing like this. So, the reigns will be tighter at home and I am finally going ot sign him up for obedience classes. I said I wanted to do this right, and I am going to do this right. I feel like I failed and I am kind of embarrassed. M knows he is a terror too and said the same as you did, actually.
As far as D11, I most absolutely had that talk with her when she said that. I said it is still early on, we are getting to know each other, and who knows what the future will bring and we take it one day at a time. It's been almost 4 months and they still haven't met and I am going to do right by her and protect her until I feel comfortable.
I am just having a bad day. Insecurities and scars are surfacing from my ex and past R's. Things really ARE good, almost too good to be true. I don't know how to handle that. I also feel like I am being judged by this chocolate incident which I know he isn't. But it is something my ex would have done. he wouldn't have been nice about it and made suggestions. He would have called me an idiot and belittled me. I feel like an idiot and I have this feeling of inferiority deep down inside. I excel in some areas of my life. Other areas I am weak. I am afraid to show weakness though, as my ex always prayed on weaknesses.
I need to cautiously trust that M is different and he really does see the value in my strengths and weaknesses. Which he has actually stated but calling them differences rather than weaknesses.
We haven't made any firm plans, but we are both free sunday night. Might spend some time together. Then Christmas eve he said by the time I get there his family may not really be there anymore but I am invited to spend time with him and his dog, lol. Who knows if I will meet them. Then we have a bit of time apart.
I just need some sleep, I need the hormones to calm down, and maybe I also need a little IC to help me through.
What a weekend. Friday night we had friends over, had pizza and made cookies. Saturday morning D11 and I took an adult yoga class together! It was really cool to be able to enjoy one of my activities with her. She liked it, and luckily her dad will pay for half of her classes. I am going to try for one a week with her. We went shopping for some groceries and made a nice dinner satruday. Sunday we had a really nice lunch with friends, then I drove her to her dad's house.
I saw her dad's new home for the first time. He was home, the wifey wasn't. He showed me around the downstairs and her room. It's a small house, but suits them fine. They have 2 full baths which is nice. It was kind of funny because they finally got a new couch (they had the one ex and I bought in 2004). he said "I don't even sit it on, I sit on the recliner which was behind the couch, away from everyone. The only thing upstairs was their bedroom. He said "want to see the rest of the house?" Like I really needed to see where they do the nasty. Before we go up he says "I'm sorry, it's a disaster, but what am I going to do?" It was indeed a disaster. I've mentioned this before, because it both really irks me and gives me a sense of satisfaction. Their situation is no better at his house with the housekeeping skills. My ex always was not satisfied with my housekeeping abilities. I am not super neat at all and a little messy, but I am clean. And my house is neat. Sometimes messy, but I am always picking up. It wasn't me with the poor housekeeping abilities. I keep a decent house. They keep a disaster. And there are 2 of them who can clean and they don't have the kid that often. Then they had these cheater bags instead of wrapping paper and I made a joke about it. He says " you know me, that was not my doing" He has always been so anal about his present wrapping. But the "you know me". No, I don't know you. We haven't been together for many years, you've been with your wife long her than you have been with me. Who knows what has changed and what hasn't.
The interesting thing is how disconnected they seem. I don't know what goes on behind closed doors. But they seem to coexist. Passion, I am not seeing it. Whenever I see them together, he talks to me more than her and they both have their heads in their phones. No physical touch at all. And my ex is very physical touch. Or he was. Maybe they just feel weird in front of me, I don't know. Not that I care but it does stick out to me. I wonder if he has settled on someone who is just loyal to him and puts up with his BS.
Anyways, M came over last night and set up one of D11's gifts for me. Then we watched Home Alone and just talked and he stayed over. Things are good. I don't know why I was feeling the way I did. We were in my basement and he was looking at how he could put more outlets into D11's bedroom and where the mold is he is going to take care of for me. Then he said he will hang my curtain rods. I think that's all very sweet. Tonight I might meet the fam. I am a little nervous. Then I won't see him for over a week. I feel the "I love you" words about to spill out my mouth often, but I won't let them. Going to hold back.
merry Christmas everyone. Enjoy your families, enjoy your time off if you have.
You have absolutely nothing to fear about meeting his family. Just be yourself, watch the "potty" mouth that you often speak of and things will be just fine. I think it's wonderful that he wants everyone to know who you are and vice versa. Just enjoy yourself!
As for your xh, sounds like they are just roommates and nothing passionate about them at all. As for being messy, they are comfortable in their mess apparently and that speaks volumes on how the truly live. Do not compare your lifestyle to theirs...you are far, far above them in housekeeping and living your life to the fullest.
Merry Christmas to you and yours. Enjoy the holidays and have fun...that is what Christmas is about...having fun w/family and friends. It is a time to reconnect w/those you haven't seen or heard from for a while.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I met the family yesterday! The mom, brother and wife. Loved them! They are so incredibly. Ice and we sat around talking all night. Such kind friendly people and easy to talk to.
I stayed over but left at 5am and now I’m finishing up my morning job then home I go and D11 will be there shortly. Her dad FaceTimed me in when she opened her new I phone xR. She was thrilled!
I’ve got a cold and I am on no sleep and would like nothing more than a Christmas nap.
So, last night was a big step for me. He must be a little serious about me to introduce me to the fam. I’m glad all went well. I’m going to miss him a lot until I see him again, but last night was incredible 😉😉.
I am so happy that everything turned out okay w/meeting his family. I am sure that they loved you too!
Did you daughter enjoy all of her gifts? Did the pup rip into any more packages or knock the tree over this afternoon? Just think...what a wonderful Christmas all of you had in your new home!
May the new year bring more wonderful and happy surprises for you and your daughter.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Job: my daughter was thrilled with her gifts, she got everything she wanted plus an iPhone xR from me and her dad. They facetimed me in when she opened it. I must say she did pretty darn well. The pup got his own stocking with toys and stuff to chew on and he is happy as well. Luckily the tree remains standing and I will most likely put it away this weekend.
Christmas dinner was ok, we had a nice time. I was just tired most of the day and even took a nap. I have a week to myself....no child and no boyfriend. Time to get some stuff done this weekend I guess. I am working on New years day 10-6.
I can't remember if I wrote that the full time position opened at my part time job..... I am so excited! I really do hope I get it, I am going to apply tomorrow.
I did tell M yesterday I enjoyed spending time with his family and I hope we can hang out together again soon. He said "I'm pretty sure that will be happening in the future" with a kissy face. Hope that's a good sign.
we send lots of pics back and forth of our kids, and our families, his Christmas looked like so much fun. I do hope the time comes soon we can start doing some things all together. I'd love to slowly bring the 2 worlds together. I understand it's a big step, as our kids are our most sacred parts of us. It's a big deal. I am sad we can't see echother for at the very least, a week. but I am giving everything the time it needs to grow.
I had my movie and lunch with the ex fam. His sister and 2 kids and mom came along as well as them. It cracks me up still that he goes to take his nephew to the bathroom and hands me his coat to handle instead of his wife...… they have been together officially longer than we were and married longer than we were and he still can't break those habits? It's just weird.
I am officially the fatest non pregnant I have ever been. I realize I have been avoiding pictures like the plague, but I took some last night and posted them...…. and I can barely look at myself. I feel gross and I look gross and I have to get back on track. I am hoping to straighten myself out in real soon. I can't live like this anymore. I also need to go to doctor for a physical but I won't because I know I've gained weight and my cholesterol is probably bad.
I think things will calm down a bit more where I can focus more on me. I plan to exercise 4 days in a row and eat healthy. I have to do this for me.
So as luck would have it, I ended up in the ER this morning. The past few days I haven't been feeling hot and I realized I had a bladder infection. I was going to go to occupational med yesterday at lunch time but had a very demanding case I was working on that sucked up my whole day and I didn't even get lunch. I got home and hit the couch immediately. I began having pretty bad lower abdominal pain to the point I was curled up in a ball on my couch. I dragged myself off the couch to get advil which helped a little, I slept a little and woke up with awful flank pain. I felt like I was in labor. I figured at this point it was a kidney stone or infection. I drove myself to the ER at the hospital that my second job is at. They were awesome. I had some IV Toradol and it helped with the 10/10 pain. Had a CT scan and when they checked my urine the doc said it was a very bad bladder infection that traveled to my kidney's. The radiologist was backed up, so he couldn't read my CT. The ER doctor said if there was a stone along with my infection, they would have to admit me. They gave me a dose of IV antibiotics and oral antibiotics which I have to take for 2 weeks. NO stone, and they let me go. I came home and caught up on some sleep. I have my whole weekend to myself in which I planned to to be super productive but the energy is super low. I did finally make myself do some stuff in the kitchen. It was supposed ot be a weekend of exercise too, I was going to take a spin class tomorrow, but I think I probably shouldn't. I'm thankful I didn't get admitted. I am thankful D11 is away with her dad and she didn't have to come with me. It was very nice, I stopped by the gym to pick up my food and told them what happened and I said I was most worried about the dog if I got admitted and they said anytime I needed help with the dog or D11, to not hesitate to call.
So, I am going to just try to drink my fluids and take it easy. Get my stuff around the house done but not go nuts.
On a positive note, I have an interview for the full time position next week. It's a formality I believe and I think I have a good chance of getting it, but I don't want ot jinx myself. It would be so awesome. AND if D11 does this special high school program, her high school would be across the street from my work!
I think things will work themselves out the way they are supposed to.
Feel better soon Ginger1! It is wonderful to know that you can have people around you who you can count on.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
I hope you feel better soon. Those infections ae the worse. They can really drag you down quickly. Keep yourself warm, drink lots of water and cranberry juice.
Whatever you were planning to do around the house can wait another day. Your health and well being is far more important right now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
