It's not what you said about ow and whether or not it hurt her, but what you said to her mother. Her mother can't control her daughter and she didn't deserve to be put in the middle of the mess. If you do find it in your heart to apologize to the mother, then I would just text something like, "ow mother, I am sorry for contacting you. I realize now that I shouldn't have contacted you." That's all you need to say.
The problem I see w/what happened is that even a bit of wine high, you may have actually validated what your xh may have said about you, i.e., you are bitter, etc. No one should be painted this way. The holidays tend to bring out all of the hurt, anger and disappointment that we have had to endure because of our spouses walking out and doing things that they normally would not have done. Try to remember, that the ow isn't the only one at fault here...your h didn't have the gumption to say no and walk away.
We are human and we all make mistakes, but it's what we do w/those mistakes, i.e., we either learn from them and accept that we need to work on those issues, or we continue to repeat over and over again those mistakes.
I do hope that you will find it in your heart to send a quick text to apologize to the mother. Whatever you decide to do, we are here to walk the path w/you.
Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi job, sorry, can't do that, besides I spoke to the mother on my sons phone, haven't got her number.
Even if it justifies ex h view of things, it wouldn't matter what I did, he'd still view he is right.
This morning opening presents with the kids...really makes me realise what an idiot he is. How can someone be so unhappy that they would rather spend the rest of their life not experiencing stuff like that . Happy with kids but irritated with him
TBH I think the ncident with mil is best forgotten , saying anything now will just escalate things. Let them dine on that one kick off from me ....
I am sure your kids were so excited to open presents this morning. Your children are the most precious and valuable jewels in the tiara. Money can't hold a candle to their love for you and vice versa.
People who walk away from their marriages, families and homes think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. The euphoria of the greener grass takes some time to run its course and then they realize that what they were looking for was right back at the home that they left. It's unfortunate that they do this because no one can replace the experiences and memories that are made while they are gone. The children grow up, the spouses move on and become far wiser than ever before. It's just a shame that this is a huge lesson that they have to learn.
Now, your xh will start all over again w/a new family and I would venture to say that, in time, it will become a routine and they will eventually co-exist just to keep the peace in that household. Not too many who remarry and become "new" parents all over again are actually happy. I've seen too many of these scenarios over the years and I shake my head time and time again that there are many marriages that could have been saved, but the one spouse is looking for that greener pasture.
I know things are still difficult for you...but try to look for one thing positive each and every day. You have so much to be thankful for, i.e., the children and your family. Leave the xh at the door and when you think about him, sweep the dust he left behind right out that door.
Living well is the best revenge when they walk out the door. It's time to turn the focus back on to you and your family.
Merry Christmas! Enjoy the day, take lots of photos and just enjoy your children.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I've heard this a lot. My st solicitor said similar. In her experience the people who did this , if they knew the emotional and financial devastation they would cause they would never do it. Replacing a family is a pipe dream and when there are kids involved the cracks show as there ialways conflict. She said that the best your husband can hope for is the ow gets on with the kids. I said she ignores them and them her. The solicitor laughed and just said well he's screwed.
That was a year ago now. She also used the phrase 'the grass is not greener on the other side, just seems it for a while, until it starts to die'
I know that I am getting stronger. Now I just need to sort out my financial situation ( something ex h has continuously tried to ignore) .
I had a lovely day with kids yesterday, completely filmed out lol. Whilst their dad rang twice with two v brief phone calls with one and the other didn't answer the second call. It's very sad and somewhat pity him. He has been a very silly man and job I am sure you are right , as time moves on he will come to falter and I I hope will flourish xx
