Just keep swimming, I think I can, I think I can part2

[marina7]

Gerda,

Thank you thank you

Yes I have a appointment with school board,
This is why I also started a go fund me account
Because I am in need of a new lawyer,my lawyer
Is good but W lawyer is giving her a run for her money.

I am trying to keep collecting until to pay for retainer

My story is a story that one day will be seen in a movie.

Gerda, I agree and I will move earth if I have too.

I live in 50/50 state which they suck. W is doing
So much damaging. W also knows I don't have funds so
W uses that as her advantage.

[marina7]

So again mediation and therapist tomorrow

Gal called and said this is going to long.
I wanted to reply No s**t....

But I stood my cool. Again GAL focus is on kids
But my concern now is moving kids from school
Is to late for them to go to any sports this means
Kids will have to give up sports and friends

And also since s9 last issue I see GAL is pushing this
More. Which am praying is for kids best interest.

I am so tired.
Today I went to doctors did MRI couple test.
I been feeling bad lately I do have an infection going on.
Also they want to place the pain stimulator to my chest
Area. Is crazy so much happening. With no help.

Gal also stated that when GAL called I was in dr.
Gal said ok then when GAL for us to meet. I said
Kids have no school all week off. Gal found this interesting

Gal said well if you had an emergency who would watch them
I said me. Gal tried to say this worrying I have no family here.
Again No s**t. I just took a deep breath and said this is not
The time to answer you these questions but usually I figure it out
I got frustrated and went to the restroom and cried. I feel
as me not having family is bad.

This is crazy... any advice for Tomorrow having therapist
and GAL.

[Kyh]

Marina, if the gal asked you about that you need to get someone or preferably more than one person lined up because she probably will ask again. You need to have a plan regardless of gal. My gal also asked me about that. Ask a good friend or two, a few of the kids’ friends’ moms were also willing to help.

[Gordie]

Marina

Kyh is right

You need a solid backup plan for emergencies

Otherwise they may use that against you re custody

Good job at staying cool and calm

[peacetoday]

Yes I agree
having a plan, even a neighbor who can help
or a good teenager in the area will sometimes help out for little money

I used to have this older woman help with watching them when they were younger and a neighbor would get my 5 year old from the bus stop, so I could stay at work..

and as the kids get older this gets easier-
I also had little support raising my kids as my mom passed shortly after BD and my family is very good people but
also very busy with careers and live a distance-

Stay strong- breathe, meditate listen to Joel Olsteen
got to keep our minds clear and positive to promote best outcomes
and for you physical healing-

prayers with you-

[marina7]

Thank you everyone again

So good amd bad News for me.
Why because this about the Trio's not me
And remember they just remember the old W which
W was once amazing. Always strict but she baked and
Did things with them. Unfortunately this New person
We don't even know. Or who W is.

So today in Therapy, Gal was also there

Remember we trying the 50/50 custody.
Not sure when it happened in the 2 hours
W through her hands up. Looked at the GAL
W I am done, do what you gotta do
G if the judge makes this decision one parent becomes the
Legal guardian
W yelp I am done I might regret it or not like the outcome but
I am done
Gal M you ok
M yeah tears coming down. I am hurting no matter what I know
Mentally I am the stable parent. But the trio's need her. I know they
Do. Even if it's 25%

I know this much if I get the custody I know W will be a vanisher.
Is sad but I know she will be.

Therapist put her opinion explaining you know what this mean
The kids are going to go through this hurt again. Is like reopening a wound
W yes I know but is for the best.

I honestly believed W she is right is for there best
W at this moment can't be a full functional parent. Not at this
Time.

I won't give up on W but far away I would pray for W turn a
White candles for her. I will make sure kids remember the old
W.
So in less then 2 weeks GAL will be making her recommendations
On where kids go to either it could be W or me. I pray GAL makes
The right decision for our Kids. My kids life is in the GAL hands.

Thank you. I will not be posting for couple of days as I must
Get my thoughts together. I didn't expect this.

I want the trio's but want W in there life not only every twice a month.

My heart is breaking. For the kids because they need us both.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
May God continue to bless you and your family.

[Gerda]

Marina, I am not sure I am following but your kids do not need W right now. She is not stable nor sane and she is abusive. I don't understand why you are even considering her having custody. They can see her often but you should be their guardian and make decisions for them. She is not a fit parent right now, based on what you have written. I feel the same about my H. He is not able to parent my kids. They need stability and peace, not to see someone just because she used to care for them. I would be more patient, let things happen, if W comes out of this even a little, you can always change the amount of visitation. Don't give up on your kids. Based on what you said, it seems unsafe for them to be with W.

[OneArt]

Gerda is right. If you get the custody, great. Better for the kids. You can always let her see them if she is being appropriate and refraining from abuse toward you or others. The only difference will be that you can control the terms (and keep them in their school, get the child support you need, etc.). I think sometimes when we worry too much about them, it is really a fear of letting go. Let her go all the way. You don't know what the future holds, but you don't want her to take you and the kids with her.

[peacetoday]

I agree with Gerda and One Art

They do not need your w --NOT as she is today
the crises can ;last for many many years and they do not need an unstable parent and her crazy abusive OW

they need you-

I get your sadness that they may lose her for good-
but your W is doing the right thing to let them go and she knows she is sick
she does not want the responsibility --let her go--she has to hit way down to the oceans floor b4 she can recover if ever-
And because the crises is sooo long --the kids will most likely be grown b4 you see any progress in your w

let her go--

If It were me, I would absolutely speak to GAL and let them know you are more than prepared and capable to take this on- as person with sole custody
God will open doors and make all things available for you to raise these kids on your own

Ive seen that in my life
hold strong

[marina7]

Gerda, Oneart and Peacetoday

Ok to answer you Gerda,

I might have written it wrong. Or misunderstanding
Yes I wanted to hear this, I know W is not stable at all

I also know my kids love their Mom. The old W.
No matter what kids are kids W has hurted kids many times
But they love her. They have their moments but they love her
As much I want to protect them I also can't keep them away.

Will I push the kids on W or vice versa No I wouldn't
If W doesn't call them or see them I won't bother.

So I know this is the best for Kids. It still Hurts. Because at the end
It feels horrible because I can't imagine what the kids are going to feel
When the GAL tells kids. I again didn't expect this but also I know
W is screaming for help and her saying I can't anymore make your
Decision. I know what W meant. So I will be ok with whatever GAL decides.

I believe the GAL. All I can do is pray.

OneArt, yes you hit in on the nose
If I do get Trios I truly know we all 4 will start healing as a family
But I also know I will let go. I know it scares me. Why, because can I stop loving W
Can I then meet someone that will make me happy. Will W fade from
My dreams, mind and heart will W then just become another person for me
Like someone I don't know or ever knew. So Yes I am scared of hope I guess
But I also know whatever the GAL decides I am closing the book after thar
And starting a New journey for me and trio's. A new Beginning.

Peacetoday,
Gal did say this is the time where you or W send emails and any dirt.

I basically made my peace. I hope all the petitions I have in court speaks
For itself. I can't no longer emotionally do this. I have never spoken ill about W
And I think I will never will. I know GAL sees I devote my life to kids, also knows
I have done whatever it takes. GAL sees it.

Yesterday I said my peace. And now I wait.
GAL know I have support as step mom flew out, also my bestfriend been
There for kids and I. I have emotional and physical support. GAL also knows
My financial situation. But besides financial I am good.

Now all I can do is keep letting God lead me. Because this is no
Longer my story is God story.

So W and I agree for Thanksgiving plan.

W has them today till Tomorrow till 3pm

Then I have the trio's all week.
W today sent a text.
S9 baking your favorite cookies
D10 making your favorite pie
S10 making your favorite cake.

I stared at this text for 10min shock.
Like wow. I replied
Wow tell the trio's thank you and can't wait to eat them
W shhhh act surprise
M ok thank you

Ummm not sure what to think. But I am not reading into it
Usually this is W unfortunately W plays alot with emotions
Especially with kids. It was me at first but now it doesn't affect me
Because I know W likes reaction.


Thank you again. And Happy Thanksgiving everyone