and burned you know nothing about anger, my WW has thrown and broken more pint glasses in the past two months that I lost count. If she connected I'd be messed up. What is there to be afraid of, I have learned to not engage during her rages, that is of of my boundaries. She will rant for an hour then find her coming to me remorseful. It's funny she will say the harshest things and they don't bother me anymore because I know she will be crying that she didn't mean any of it.
If you walk away though or out of the house during a fit, make sure you always have your keys,phone and wallet with you!
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
I would not dwell on this.What you were doing wasnt working for you, so Im glad to see you made a change.
There isnt a calculator to determine your "R percentage", but I think this has been a good step towards you taking more control f your life. And feeling better will help you be more attractive which will help you possibly R.....
In regards to the income....that is perfect that she sees no hope...this is the outcome that she asked for....for you to be out of the picture. That means not just physically but financially too. Let OM finance her...see how long that lasts lol. Go get a job biotch!
Last edited by lost8; 11/16/1807:17 PM.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
Edit: here we go. She says, "You said I could use it." I said I changed my mind.
Burned, she just bought an 800 dollar set of tires WITHOUT YOUR PERMISSION. Sending a text and then not waiting for a reply before buying is not acceptable. By the way, your lack of a response to her text is NGS too. If you don't know how to reply then say something like "let's discuss this later when I have a few minutes". It surely was not an emergency. She just can't spend like she's half of a married couple anymore. You've got to put a stop to that.
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She said "That's unfair, you agreed to pay for my living expenses." So I'm not responding yet.
"And you agreed to love, honor and cherish me until death do we part, yet here we are." Don't say that, but it sure is tempting. She can't play the honor card against you after she's already burned it herself. And.... how is it that snow tires are a "living expense"? Plenty of people get by just fine without them. Tell her to get chains, wouldn't that be a nice wakeup call to what she's doing when she has to get up and it's zero and snowing out and she needs to put those on her car!
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Edit 2: she followed up with, "how about you start sending me checks." Yikes.
"I will take it under consideration." I can't remember if you have an L but if you do then talk to him/her about your legal responsibilities in supporting her during S. No more free reign on checkbook and CC. Let her pitch a fit, like someone else said what is she going to do, walk out on the M?
Yes what amoafwl said. Start feeling better about yourself, that is the first step in taking control of your life. Don't feel sorry for her, she has a roof over her head.
I don't get the needs snow tires anyway. If she doesn't have a job and it snows, where the F does she need to go....to see OM?
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
OK this is the advice I got from my mother, the person who taught me NGS:
"I think wanting to get the house is cruel because it is what she wants and not really what you want. Beside I don’t think fighting her that way is going to make her respect you. And it would be nice to have her respect, but you should not care if you don’t live with her. I know she has some money but as long as you are married you have a responsibility toward her."
But why does this feel kind of good? My insides are screaming "you're an a-hole, you should be ashamed of yourself."
Edit: she said, "I know you think I'm taking advantage of you but I'm not" or something like that, and I so badly wanted to say, "Yeah, you took advantage of me beginning a year ago when you first let that jerk park his car in your front yard, if you know what I mean."
Last edited by burned; 11/16/1807:24 PM.
H: 35 W: 33 M: 11 T: 13
4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1") 6/23/18: I moved out 8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")
You have been destroying the last rays of hope for R by funding this abuse. You got some serious NGS are you going to a NGS group? What are you afraid of? She can't do anything to you that you cant survive. Be strong.
^^^Agreed^^^ Placating her is not doing you any favors for future recon. She already ended the M when she left and jumped into bed with OM. You're hanging onto something that's already gone. I'm not saying there's no recon in your future, there very well may be. But what you had is gone and you need to come to grips with that and make protective decisions accordingly.
But you are not married brother...come to terms with it. She doesn't see you as married. I had to explain that to my WW. She has violated everything about M, all that is left is a legal document. WTF man wake up. You don't need to go in with guns blazing but stake your claim. Heck I'm suggesting it but your job will be harder now but at some point money will be an issue.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
