Home Sweet Home

[Ginger1]

Don, you crack me up some times. I do really appreciate sharing your guy point of view, but I don't think I said anything that unattractive. Neither does he. And I will explain that. Yes, on the first comment, I did want some confirmation that we are on the same page that we are dating exclusively. Reasonable I think. And it was left at that. No detailed relationship talks, a text exchange that verified we are only seeing eachother and that's where our interest lies. I do think he was making joke about the other dude's t shirt, but it wasn't so much a joke as him wanting some confirmation also.

In the second exchange we were not talking seriously. He was the one joking around in the sense of "If you are lucky, I'll take you as a guest" so I went even more sarcastic on him. It was a sarcastic exchange, not a serious "I would love that if you would have me" But we did talk about going to the lake after. But that wasn't a insecure text, that was us joking around. I really am not like that with him at all. I never talk about "us" that was the most I have ever done, I don't ever beg for affirmation. It's shown in his actions all the time. The affirmation I did need, however, that we were not dating other people and the intention is to date exclusively. That shouldn't go assumed, especially when you are sexually active.

That being said, I do know my questions can't scare him off that much. We went out for a drink last night at a local pub/restaurant. we were sitting on the bar side at a table and there was a group sitting on the other side in the restaurant right next to us. They had a cute baby and the baby was making faces at us and we were playing back. All of a sudden he says "let's have a baby!" That caught me off guard a little. He of course backed it up with "just kidding", but was using that into a seguay into the more kids convo. He asked if I would do it again. I was honest and told him how I always wanted more kids, I had hoped to have both by 30 when I was married, then I extended it to 35 when I divorced, and I said here I am at almost 39 with an 11 year old. I told him without a doubt, if I didn't have a kid already, I would want one. We talked about how both of us are on the fence as far as more kids. I know I say, I am done, but when I think about it, I really don't know how done I am in my heart. For guys, at 39, it's young. For women, not so young. It was an interesting conversation. Another kid isn't a deal breaker for him, but I guess he is thinking about it. As a single mom, I can't imagine more kids. I just can't. But when I see it happening with an actual partner, I can't write it off. I spoke to my therapist about this. She said that is absolutely natural. I asked her if I subconsciously think I want another one to make the guy I am with happy, or is there really a desire. We both think it would be a very happy thing in my life with a partner. But we are certainly not at that bridge yet!!!!!

He walked in my door last night and kissed me and hugged me really hard and said "HI baby!" (first pet name use). He stayed over. (FTR, and TMI, he is the best I ever had in bed. and no ED here AT ALL ) We were both sad to part this morning because we know it is going to be a while and he said "I am really going to miss you" We did make plans for December 1st to do something really cool I am excited about. I am just really going to miss him.

Again, I will be busy enough with work. Oh, I got offered a 3rd job, lol. A social worker I used to work with in home care reached out to me. Her mom is started a home health aide business and she needs an RN to do assessments. She said I was the first person she thought of. They have no clients yet, and it would be very part time. I said "sure" I am doing it less for the money, more to help out. Maybe I'll a free five minutes somewhere.

Ohhhhh, and I decided to try to make life easier and use Amazon Prime pantry with delivery from whole foods. They only delivered 2 items from my shopping order. Huge fail. Now I have to fit grocery shopping in my schedule which wasn't there in the first place......

[kml]

(FTR, and TMI, he is the best I ever had in bed. and no ED here AT ALL

WINNER!!!!!

[DonH]

Don, you crack me up some times.

Well that's good at least! I really am only trying to give you my perspective. I wish things were far more active here to get a wider perspective but sadly that's no longer the case. Thankfully you crack me up as well - in a good way. For example:

We are going to see each other for the last time for a little while tonight.

For a little while - or, a sex-laden overnight stay that lasted for nearly 12 hours - one of the two LOL. See what I mean about you always seem to get together far more than you think you will. I will go on record right now saying there is no way in hell that you don't see him prior to December 1st. Something will change to make it happen - and that's a good thing!!!!

In the second exchange we were not talking seriously. He was the one joking around in the sense of "If you are lucky, I'll take you as a guest" so I went even more sarcastic on him.

I pretty much speak sarcasm as a second language... and I'm just not seeing it but I wasn't there. Working just from the written word, my response of "you might get to see me if you're lucky buddy, we will see" is far more sarcastic than "I hope you'll have me." I just don't see any two ways around that but again that's my perspective.

Take it all for what it's worth. My larger point really is that I don't think you have anything to worry about with this guy and coming across as you do is just not attractive - that's all I'm saying. Things are still new so let him chase you some yet. Again, that's my take.

All of a sudden he says "let's have a baby!" That caught me off guard a little. He of course backed it up with "just kidding"

Wow, I usually worry about you getting ahead of yourself, but, holy cow. Again, I was not there but let's have a baby would certainly freak me out. I can only assume he was kidding in this one. At least let's hope.

Bottom line, I just don't want you to worry and don't think there is even a basis for it. More over, nothing good can come from it. Yes, people freak out and change at the drop of a hat. It's happened to you too many times and to me more than I would like. But fearing it won't help and can possibly make it worse. If he follows in any of the previous guys footsteps you'll handle it just fine - as you have with those guys - amazingly well from what I can tell. I would have thrown in the towel by now yet you kept going and it might be finally paying off. I tend to lean more in that direction than the other!

[kml]

Just wanna say, if I had had a baby with every guy who off-handedly said something about wanting to get me knocked up (and mostly didn't mean it) I'd be like that crazy reality tv woman with the 19 kids.

For some guys that's just a fleeting expression of desire, not a realistic want.

[DonH]

Just wanna say, if I had had a baby with every guy who off-handedly said something about wanting to get me knocked up (and mostly didn't mean it) I'd be like that crazy reality tv woman with the 19 kids.

More and more I swear I'm feeling like I'm the bizarre guy in the bunch. Guys really say this just like saying hey let's take a weekend trip to Las Vegas? Seriously? What a truly odd thing to say - at least from my perspective - let's have a baby. Maybe it really is me who is not normal.

[kml]

I'm 62 and guys STILL say they wish they could make a baby with me! Even though that ship has OBVIOUSLY sailed!

I think it's often less about the reality of a child (in fact, almost never) and more about some he-man notion of impregnating a woman, OR some wistful romantic "gee we would have had beautiful kids" kind of thing.

All that being said though, new guy's comment as pretty direct, it's worth paying attention to whether he really is a guy who seriously wants another child.

[Ginger1]

I was startled by the comment but it didn't scare me. I think we are both at a juncture where we are in these precarious situations and we still wanted more kids but given our age and current circumstances, is it the right move? I know I see a baby and my uterus still skips a beat.

It may come up again. I know that my situation changes my feelings on a having another child. If I am single, I can't picture it. With someone else and a committed partner, I wonder if my fear of having a child older would be less. There are many factors that go into it. I don't know that I have written it off totally.

I have had fear to say it, but me and my friend talked about it last night. She asked if he could be "the one". I told her it is too early on to really determine that, because other factors like meeting kids and family come into play. But the person he is and what we have, I could see him being the one. It's scary and exciting. I could see a future with him. But no reason to rush it.


On a different note, yesterday went horribly, today even worse, my D has an early dismissal for impending snow, I have been worked to the bone and late every night. I plan to leave at 3, but it doesn't look like it is happening. Everyone tells me I look so worn out and I actually took a Xanax to get myself to work today. I cried in the car on the way home from work last night. Then I find out D didn't get done her project she had her friend over for, so her friend had to come back over and they had to finish it last night. I was passing out on the couch and her friend was still here. Then the dog. Oh the dog. My life is spent cleaning up pee in my brand new home. M and I did not talk all day yesterday, so at bedtime I sent him a kiss emoji and a goodnight. he texted back "I wish I really could kiss you goodnight". It brought a smile to my face. I wish he could too. I just have to survive until Wednesday. I can do it.

[Ginger1]

So, did NJ make national news with how our governor messed up big time with our storm and people were stuck on the roads for hours on end?? I had a 4 and a half hour commute home yesterday! Normally a half hour. I have never seen such a mess in my life. My D was at her friends who live behind us, and the dog was locked in the crate for too long, I had to have her friends dad walk her home so she could take care of the dog. She's been doing good staying home alone, but she was freaking because she was home alone between 6:00 and 8:30. She was fine of course, microwaved some pizza for dinner, watched TV, had heat, but she hated that I wasn't there. It was pure He!! It happened to thousands of people. M was off this week because of the wedding and he loves snow as a big snowboarder. He didn't realize what was going on with the rest of the state. he got soooooo lucky, because in the second half of his work day he often drives into NYC. He would have never gotten home. he was sweet and concerned when he realized what was really going on. He told me if he ever complains about a commute just to smack him, lol.

I came to work late today and it is still insanity here. I have to work this weekend at the other job and I hate leaving my dog in the crate for so long, so our backyard friends are going to come and pay with the dog for a little while I am at work. The best part of the house I found is really the location. To have the house close to the bus stop and trusted friends, we really help each other out when we can and I feel comfortable leaving D11 home knowing they can see my house from their kitchen window.

I have the night to myself tonight after work, and honestly, I am really looking forward to it. I want to fix up the house, relax and watch TV. I need this. My weekend work this week is 11-7. I am hopefully off on Wednesday. I pray my coworker comes back next week, because I can't handle this much anymore.

[Ginger1]

I am now on day 8 of 9 of work in a row. Again, another lovely weekend of training at my new job. What a wonderful woman I trained with. She went through a divorce a year ago and has one 16 year old and 2 adult children. Her ex was mentally abusive (they are Nigerian, and he still held on to some of the ways of his culture with how men are towards women) she gave up and left after trying for so long. His ego took a hit and he just keeps making her life He!! by turning their kids against her, which he has done, and in the court of law. The other woman is also divorced (for 20 years, and 18 remarried) and we just talked it all out and really helped the one who just couldn't figure out why she gives her ex no trouble but is set on making her life a living Hell. When we left we gave eachother a big hug and I told her to call me whenever she wanted to talk or just hang out. This job is so pleasurable, the people are angels. This weekend didn't kill me, it just prevented me from getting other stuff done. I even did work from the full time job at the part time jib because it's the same system. I have a doctors appointment which was hard to get today causing me to leave work early. I was going to cancel it, but I decided I am going. I have to look out for #1 and they can shove it if they don't like it.

M was away at his wedding and I didn't expect to hear fro, him at all. But he sent me pictures from the rehearsal dinner, and from before the wedding and some after. And he sent me a bathroom selfie which he says he never does, but he likes me. He looked FINE. And he threw a sweet comment on a FB post. I will see him this Friday because the stars aligned. It's our kid weekends, but our ex's have them on Friday this weekend because of how the holiday worked out. Seriously can't wait to see him, I miss him very much. He's even started using a little pet name for me which I think is cute.

Hopefully I get this Wednesday off as planned. I need it. I have lots to do and I am going to a hockey game with the fam bam that night. Can't wait, free food!!! HAHA! And, well, I love hockey although my team is really bad this year.

I am super tired but contented. I'll catch up on everything eventually.

[DonH]

I will see him this Friday because the stars aligned. It's our kid weekends, but our ex's have them on Friday this weekend because of how the holiday worked out

LMAO! I told you! Where do I collect my prize? I'm happy for you but just knew it would not be near as long as you thought - it never is, with any of these guys. Glad you'll get to see him - just the next time you are just sure you won't see someone for soooooo long, it's rarely the case. December 1st, lol right, sure. Good for you! Glad to see you happy with a seemingly quality guy.