I agree w/neffer. Ginger, it is hard to let go of the baggage we carry around, but there comes a time when we need to store that baggage in the closet up on a shelf. You've come such a long way, endured much heartache and have risen just like the Phoenix. You've worked hard to get where you are today...you owe it to yourself to put that baggage up on the shelf and shut the door on it. You deserve so much more in life and never doubt/question yourself. Be you! Be Happy! Be Positive!
You've purchased a new home and have a new man in your life who is not far away and shares many of the same activities that you do. He is walking a journey very similar to yours, i.e., single parent. Savor the time you spend w/him, savor the time you spend w/your daughter and learn to savor your alone time. The world is your oyster...time to truly let that old baggage go!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Totally agree with neffer and job. Relax! You are doing great and things are going your way. "M" sounds like a great guy and I'm so thrilled for you that you are getting to truly enjoy a mature, adult relationship with someone who is on the same page and in the same place you are.
I would like to emphasize something job said above. In talking about enjoying time with your daughter, time with M, and time alone, I think that is perfect. You give so much to so many so be SURE that you take some time for G and learn to enjoy it. I know it is hard for some people and some people just don't like it, but embrace whatever time to yourself you get to take care of yourself. You are just as important as all the other people and things in your life and if you don't take care of you, you certainly can't take care of anyone else.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
As for your daughter - wait 6 months please. I know it's inconvenient and she's curious about new guy but look at how hard it was on her when she got attached to FF. 6 months seems a reasonable time to wait to make sure this relationship is really going where you think it is.
Ginger - I just wanted to echo what Don said. In the last 2 1/2 years that I've known you, you've grown and matured in a lot of ways. And I can say "matured" 'cuz I'm an old fart compared to you
But I think you know what I mean.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Well, thank you my friends! Growth is always a good thing and we are never done in my opinion. But I do need to drop the past baggage because those outcomes aren't my fate and I don't want to ruin something that is good.
M came over and we had sushi at my house, played with the puppy, talked, and he stayed over. We have never really had an R talk or about what we want for ourselves even as individuals in the future. I think we kind of just on the same exact page and living in the present. Working, raising our kids, and enjoying eachother's company. That's what I like so much about him, he lives in the present and rolls with the punches and makes do with whatever happens. I mean, we talked about when the right time to introduce kids are, but we don't talk about where we are, or where we are going. And I think that is normal and ok for 2 months. We makes plans together for the future. We talk as if no one is going anywhere anytime soon. We talked about introducing our dogs, lol. We are going to take them to the dog park one day to introduce them so they don't get territorial. I just don't know what we "should" be discussing now or no, but I don't feel the need to. I do hope I can meet his friends one day, I do hope people do know about me. I care about him a lot.
I think I do enjoy the different part of my life. My time with him, my time with D, and my time with me. I enjoy my gym when I do get to go. I am making more of an effort to do so, although things have been so crazy. Last Sunday when he left around 11am, I spent the rest of the day relaxing and shopping for my home. My "me" time sees like it's going to be spent at my extra job. I seriously do need the money. So much I want to do in my home. I haven't seen my friends in a long time, because we all have been busy. But we are the kind of friends who still check in and even if we can't see eachother, we understand we all have stuff going in our lives.
Tomorrow is my dad's Bday and we are going out to dinner and they will spend the night.
I had a wonderful time at the new job, then got screwed at this current job. My counterpart was dealthy ill this week, but no one found coverage for her and she finally couldn't take it anymore yesterday and is out. She asked me t come in today because she was scared if she didn't find any coverage, it would fall on her. However, it is the job of our crappy manager who doesn't do anything about it. So, I am supposed to be off today, but I agreed to come in for a few hours because I felt guilty. Then I come in here and people ask what the heck am I doing here. I can't win! So I doing some things, then going home. This is BS. I seriously dread coming here. I'll be leaving shortly.
I look forward to a weekend of family. next weekend I am working the whole weekend. I will be reclaiming today's time the day before thanksgiving.
Glad all is well (except the job situation, which stinks for you). Keep on keeping on. I'm glad things are going well for you. You deserve it! Totally agree about growth, by the way.....always room for improvement, I say.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Two months into a relationship is definitely too early to be asking questions about the future - you should still be just finding out who he is. Now would be a good time though to introduce him to friends and meet some of his friends. That might give you more , important info about who he is.
Something a little off topic that worries me a little today. I was in the kitchen and D11’s phone was charging. I looked over and there was a text from her dad “I’m so round of you. I love you, you are such a smart and loving girl. Be better than me, I know you can”
It freaked me out because it is way out of character and sounded like some sort of suicide note. So put of character in fact, when D11 read it and freaked out and thought someone stole her dad’s phone because that wasn’t like him and she called him. He said he was thinking of her and wanted to tell her. Again, not like him. d11 said “maybe he feels bad for all those times he’s mean to me?”
Anyways, I texted him asking if everything was ok . He said “all is good”
