From the other side of the mountain (pt. 9)

[SBJ]

I made it thru the two anniversary dates relatively unscathed...haha.

Spent the D anniversary on Saturday with my brothers, their families and my mother. Fun, but tiring day.

Spent the Wedding anniversary yesterday at work and then at home by myself. Kept busy at both places.

It's funny that the longer I get away from the BD, the only memories that really matter are the good ones.

I pray life gets better for all of us. God bless you all.

[Gerda]

SBJ, I loved what you wrote here about the Mass, just didn't get a chance to write back.

For me, I almost always feel Christ passing by in the Mass, like the blind man sitting by the side of the road waiting for Him to pass and then he does, and that man just starts yelling his head off, he doesn't care what anyone thinks, he wants to be healed! Not that I am yelling in the Mass, but my soul is! I usually cry the whole mass, but mostly out of joy. Someone told me a year or two ago that when I am deeply suffering, I should take communion as much as possible, it will strengthen me. And I have really found this to be true. I know outside the faith people don't understand that and think it's all in our head or will say things like, "Whatever works for you, my thing is yoga." Not that yoga doesn't offer something wonderful, and that something can be deeply spiritual. But what I am talking about is an actual Person actually doing something for me and to me, I really experience that in the Mass and when I get that grace, in prayer alone.

Nope, I am nowhere near Texas, I live in a place that is the opposite of Texas! But I was once at a Rejoice Pompano meeting and I met a stander there, was very drawn to her, and wrote to her afterwards. We became prayer partners and close friends, calling each other sometimes daily. When her H came back, she stopped having time to support my stand in that way. But she taught me a lot about trusting God no matter what is happening down here. And her H came back and they are fully restored and having little conferences about it. She is the one who owns that restaurant.

Have met with the priest to figure out how the group would work, he liked the idea a lot, and now I just have to write an outline of the first meeting. Will let you know how it goes. It's a leap of faith for sure to start there while waiting for the next D letter.

But I have been trying to love my H with God's love. Not that I initiate anything but I am very friendly and kind to him. It is freeing. I feel like I get released from a slavery every time I am able to forget my own bitterness/pain and just be kind.

And I was glad to hear about your courage, joy, etc., in facing your anniversaries. That is very heartening what you say about the good memories. I have trouble with that because my H lives here, the circumstance is always in front of me. So I find it very hard to remember him as he was. But I found what you say to be very true after my mom died. We had a very complicated relationship, but as soon as she died, I was able to forgive everything (only bad part about that was the huge regret that I had about not being able to do that before she died!).

You go, SBJ!

[SBJ]

Journaling:

Life is good, God is good, kids are great.

X still seems like she is in her teens. She spent the last weekend visiting her spirit guide/psychic friend. Still blows me away, but not my circus not my monkey.

I am still trying to work on the whole health, wealth, and happiness thing.

As for the Health...I'm eating better, drinking much less. Rehabbed the shoulder and exercising moderately.

As for the wealth...I'm working smarter, not harder. Also looking at starting another business with brothers.

As for the happiness...I can honestly say that I am. I've come to understand that I don't need another person by my side to be happy. I have peace in who I am and I really enjoy my own company. I have a great group of friends who I spend time with. I have family that love me and allow me to love back. That is what it's all about.

Kids are great and I am excited about the next couple of months...the Holidays are their favorite time of year. I haven't been much entertaining the last 2 years, so I'm ready to go Griswold on them this year.

[OneArt]

Great update. Good for you!!

[Gordie]

SBJ

Great update

But o man those friends

I know all about them

Here are some thoughts on that subject

A person who is deeply unhappy

Opens themselves to all sorts of people and experiences

They are searching some way out of their unhappiness

Physical emptional spiritual

Maybe your x is like my w

A lifelong church goer and a good girl

She says to herself

I have followed all the rules

But I am still so unhappy

So yeah why not see what my psychic friend has to say

I tried for decades the traditional way

And that did not make me happy

[SBJ]

Gord, she has had this friend for 20 years and consults on everything from health to wealth...it does and always has driven me nuts. She is riding the line on this between being the good catholic girl and the hocus pocus. Again...not my circus anymore.

I have followed along with your situation and I am happy to see things at least moving.

“Love Is Like A Shark, It Has To Constantly Move Forward, Or It Dies…” -Woody Allen

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers daily.

[SBJ]

Journaling:

Last night, I had just read someones testimony as to their spouse not being fully cooked when I got a text from my ex. It said......."I'm almost there".

I have a strange sense of humor and laugh more at God's little winks lately. You can imagine where my mind went when I read that text. I had many replies go thru my mind, but obviously did not text back anything.

I'm going on 2 years since she moved out and pray for her daily. I am trying to live my life to the full and know that God's Will will be done. I hope that all is going well with all of you guys.

[Gordie]

SBJ

She is almost there

Hahaha

I hope so

Well man

You are an inspiration to me too

You were always a few steps ahead of me

With a healthy mix of humor realism hope and faith

PS sorry the Astros did not repeat

[DnJ]

Hello SBJ

I am following along, reading your wonderful updates, and being inspired with your willpower and actions.

I was very happy to read that your shoulder is on the mend. That is excellent news, if we ever get some of us together we can play football, you can be QB - you’ll have the best shoulders out of all of us.

Starting a business with your brothers should be an exciting venture, I do wish you good fortune and good times.

I really like your bit on happiness. It is great when we find happiness again, life is clearer, brighter, better, and more fun. I bet you find yourself smiling a lot more than you thought you ever would.

You should go totally Griswold on your house, with so many lights it blows the transformer. I’ll be right over and l’ll bring some eggnog.

You are doing really good my friend.

DnJ

[SBJ]

Thanks for the positivity guys...

I was asked by the ex if I wanted to "trick or treat with us"...she said that my S12 and his friend wanted to go together. I said yes and assumed that it would just be the 4 of us. Oddly the boy and his father, a good friend of mine, showed up about 15 min. before the ex and my son. At times I felt like a 3rd wheel and at times I'm sure he did. His W is kind of a MLC'er as well and is out of the picture right now. My ex helped her get into a treatment facility for a long standing substance prob.

We made the rounds and cut up and laughed. We had driven to another neighborhood to visit some family at a Halloween party. It was a good time and visited with many friends and fam. The ex dropped me, the friend and his son off at my house, hugged me goodbye and took off. My friend and his son came in and we visited for another hour or so. When they left it was definitely time for a little night cap to evaluate what had just gone down. Like I had posted earlier in the week...still in the oven. I mentioned to my IC and they said the same thing...don't read anything into anything...she is still off in lala-land.

Yesterday was my bday and the ex was the first to call and wish me a HBD. Oddly satisfying. I did dinner with my 3 kids last night and had a great time. It is awesome having them all in the same place at the same time enjoying conversation. I had asked the ex, but she declined...she was at a volunteer event, but would not have come anyway as my parents were there also.

This coming Tuesday, Nov. 5th will be the 2 year anniversary of her moving out. I can tell it is still a bit odd for her when she comes into the house. She only leaves our kitchen area if she has to go to the restroom and even then has a hard time walking thru the house. It is interesting to watch. Nothing large has changed, but I am still trying to get rid of my dining room furniture to put the pool table in. I will repost Tuesday and begin a new thread for the new year of singleness.

For all of you hunters out there...be safe in the woods and good luck. This weekend begins general whitetail season in my neck of the woods. Hopefully God will allow my to add to the freezer this year. |

God bless you guys.