Honestly, it's all a bit weird, I am beginning to see what you are saying from the beginning. She still is only responding to you.
Interesting conversation.....
So, what are YOU looking for J? A F-buddy? Some casual sex? Something that could become a relationship? I don't know if what you are looking for ever became quite clear. I think you are up for taking what someone else is willing to give you?
Do you want a "play mate"? Because if you do, that's just fine. That's all I wanted when I first started dating. But decide what you want rather than what people are willing to give you.
Thanks G.....I would engage more if she was engaging me back. All of our conversations, the 3 or so that we have had since our first date are all like this. Just banter, nothing of substance. I will say she was asking me a lot of questions on the date, in person, touching my arm, we kissed, etc. so maybe that is all that matters. I sort of feel like these little check in texts that I am sending are exactly just that to get us through until the next time we see each other.
I don't think it's due to a lack of interest on her part because if it was there would be no reason for her to continue to respond to me. Just ghost me unless she is hoping I get the hint and just stop texting her all together. If that was the case though I don't think she would respond like she did with the bantering or she wouldn't respond as quick as she does. Does that make sense?????
I have interacted with enough girls in the past few month to get an understanding of what they are looking for through their actions. The girls that want a R or have extremely high interest will text you more, initiate contact, and look to spend hours on the phone chatting with you in an attempt to get to know you quicker. This girl does none of that which just signals to me that she is casually dating or is trying to mask her interest level due to her beliefs or maybe this is her game/strategy as well.
Now she is very successful financially so she definitely doesn't need a man to take of her in that way so I assume she might be looking for a casual f-buddy or maybe someone that she can hang out with and have fun. Which is why she is not pursuing me or trying to fast track dates, potentially seeing how hard I would push to get her into a relationship which if I did that she would run really fast.
I know that I am not ready to get married again, it would be nice to have a side piece for a bit to have some no strings attached sex but I would be open to a R to see where it goes as well. So I guess I am really open to whatever someone is willing to give so for me I just need to continue to work on keeping my expectations in check.
As far as my expectations go I feel I am still pretty centered. While I am journaling here I don't feel that I am wrapped up with her and have/am interacting with other woman. Unfortunately they don't like Halloween or Ice Cube
I think you are playing your cards right with this one. if she is attractive as you say and successful she has an abundance mindset and she doesn't need to reach out to guys.
I was talking to a girl (very attractive) from OLD who has been doing for six months. We were joking around exchanging texts and I said "are you asking me out on a date"? She replied " I don't ask men out on dates, I don't have to". She said she hasn't sent one message in OLD because she gets enough action without having to. Needless to say I discounted because of religion and it came out she doesn't sleep with a man for at minimum 10 dates. (good luck with that)
I can totally see why OLDing drives people who have expectations crazy. Bumble is so cruel. I matched with a hot 35 years old yesterday who lives in a 5 mile radius of me. It has the clock that counts down how much time she has to initiate a message. Brutal when the clock ran out lol. I have a date scheduled for Saturday and haven't heard from her in three days so we will see what happens.
Keep talking and dating other girls until you become exclusive with one of them. You know what coach says " When kitty cats compete J9 wins". LOL
Thanks L......I actually listened to a video from AMS strategies that was titled "Why doesn't she initiate contact in between dates". He said with girls like this never ask them out on back to back weeks because these girls are casually dating and have low interest. He said you can raise it with your game but if you start blowing up their phone, pursuing too hard, and trying to lock them down into a R they will dismiss you very quickly. IMO the only reason why I am still around is because of how I have been playing it. He also said with girls like this you call them once every 7 to 10 days but again never ask them out on back 2 back weeks until they start pursuing and initiate contact with you. These girls may start off just wanting to casually date but as you display your value and increase their interest level their attitude will change with what they want.
Yes....OLD is brutal in that regard. I have matched with several ladies on Bumble and have had the same thing happen. It actually happened 3 days ago. The only site I use any more is Match as that is where I have had all of my success. IMO you have to cater your strategy to what you feel the girl is looking for and "yes" if they are relatively attractive they have the abundance mindset. You just have to hope that most guys will be blowing up their phone after one date and if they are really into her trying to lock her down into a relationship.
As the coach says......woman are like cats and sometimes they just want to roam the neighborhood for a bit but eventually they will return
I hear ya....I have not waited his recommended 7 to 10 days for me that is too long. With this girl I have reached out about every 3 to 4 days. We texted yesterday so that was 4 days from our last interaction which I think generally falls in line with what the coach recommends I just didn't set a date because when I asked her last week for this week our schedules didn't line up. So I will probably reach out to her again on Monday (4 days) and see if we can set something up for next weekend. If she says she is busy then that would the 2nd time reaching out to her with not having a date so I think if that happens I will tell her to get back with me when she figures her schedule out.
[quote=Joseph9] Now she is very successful financially so she definitely doesn't need a man to take of her in that way so I assume she might be looking for a casual f-buddy or maybe someone that she can hang out with and have fun. Which is why she is not pursuing me or trying to fast track dates, potentially seeing how hard I would push to get her into a relationship which if I did that she would run really fast.
quote]
I must be reading this wrong, J! Just because a woman has money means she is probably just looking for an F-buddy? Please tell me I am reading this wrong. Women don't pursue because they are looking for financial gain!
I'll tell you a secret of those single successful financial women. They work so hard and do so much and usually have to rely on themselves all the time for their success. Sometimes, they really just want a man to be there for them emotionally, snuggle up with them, let them take care of them for a bit..... so maybe that's why she isn't pursing you. She probably is always chasing people and the dollar, e specially in medical sales, she might like a little reverse in her personal life.
lol.....well hell G......I am not sure I can extricate myself from this one but I didn't mean it that way (my heart was in a good place) however I do know how it reads. If I upset I apologize, certainly not my intent.
You do know though that there are people out there who are in it for financial gain or want someone that makes more money than them. Heck on Match you can filter people out of your search based on income levels.
lol.....well hell G......I am not sure I can extricate myself from this one but I didn't mean it that way (my heart was in a good place) however I do know how it reads. If I upset I apologize, certainly not my intent.
You do know though that there are people out there who are in it for financial gain or want someone that makes more money than them. Heck on Match you can filter people out of your search based on income levels.
I think you assume too much about people's intentions or have too many preconceived notions.
There are cr@ppy people out there for sure. There are lots of gold diggers. Men and women alike. I dated a guy who owned a business when he was a boss at work but off the clock, he wanted to make no decisions, put no effort into anything, and what was easy for him is to use his money to make people happy. However, I didn't want that. I wanted someone to be present, engaged and take control sometimes. I wanted a partner, not a meal ticket.
J- I think you always come from good intentions. But I do worry about how you are approaching these women and trying to guess their intentions on a stereotype. Treat each woman and their circumstance as completely unknown until you get to know them.
