Thanks, Don and J. I think I am taking a good comfortable pace. It really is just basically letting everything happen naturally. NO pushing on purpose, not pulling on purpose, just letting things fall where they may. I realize there is one area I pull back from, even though it really hasn't come up yet. Introducing family and friends. I will meet the guys friends and family and spend time with them, no problem, but it is bringing the guy into that part of my life. It scares me. I think because I think it is just going to end and I'll feel foolish. FF didn't like the fact I subconsciously didn't involve him with my friends. He thought it was on purpose and I realized it was subconscious. But we haven't crossed that bridge yet, although my friends and family are anxious to meet him, it isn't happening yet.
As far as letting him do for me..... I at first wondered if he just felt bad for me or felt it was the "right" thing to do. But now I realize he really truly enjoys doing these things for me. So I do let him, and he always gets treated to something or another after. I am glad we are having a nice day date, then he can't work around my house. But maybe sunday, lol. His LL to give are Acts of service and physical touch (yay!) and it is quite compatible.
So next week out puppy is coming. D11 is so incredibly excited. I mean over the moon excited. I know she will take care of him. It's when she is not here and the way I would like to live my life on my own time would get affected. I am trying to get her to bring the dog to her dad's house on his weekends, hahaha! It's a sacrifice and I am happy to give her the experience of having a dog. It's only the 2 of us, and a little extra would be great. I also bought a lawnmower which will be delivered tomorrow and it will be the first time mowing my lawn. I can't wait to decorate the house and put all the little pieces together!
I had yet another fantastic weekend with my man. Saturday we had a nice lunch at this really cool place on a lake upstate (so beautiful up there this time of the year) then we went to the cidery. I have visited this farm before because it is a popular apple picking place, but I never visited the cidery. It was kind of perfect, we sat outside on this hill on besnches over looking the orchards and enjoyed our ciders. Then we got back to my place around 7:30 and retired to bed early and he stayed over. He went home the next morning but came back last night. I made dinner and dessert for us. He stayed over again. We like each other a lot. I may or may not see him Wednesday, but not this upcoming weekend because we both have our kids. But we spend a good amount of time together. We passed by this mountain that he said has a beautiful, yet strenuous hiking train and he asked if I wanted to go and we bring lunch for when we get to the top, where we can see NYC. I told him I am totally down, and hopefully we will be doing that soon. We have lots of fun together and do different stuff.
This week is essentially a He!! week for me. I am doing the job of 2 people this week and we filled up this weekend pretty fast. I got here to work bright and early so I can tackle this. I have to also bring D11 for her shots Friday, and we are getting our dog tomorrow, which she doesn't know yet. I also attempted to mow my lawn yesterday which was kind of a fail, because the mower I bought was small and my lawn is like a jungle because the people before me didn't have it mowed. I got some of it done, but I have to trade in my mower. I've sure got a lot going on, hopefully I won't have a nervous breakdown somewhere along the line. And in 2 weeks, I start some time working on the weekends. Which I guess is good, because this dog is going to be expensive!
I just need to make it through this week somehow without killing anyone. Which might be hard here at work. This place is so awful. My manager doesn't even care I am left to do the whole house myself and offered me no resource or help. She's a b!tch. Oh well, I can only do what I can do.
Just journaling. Work is killing me and all I have had is irate people yelling in my ear today. I have a massive amount of patients and its only me. God forbid the boss asks how I am or if there is anything I need. My back has been in painful spasms all weekend until today, and I want to cry. I am getting a dog tonight and my life is about to change drastically. I also have to make a last minute Halloween costume, bring D11 for shots and checkup Monday morning, drop her at school, go to work, then she has a Halloween party after school and the town halloween get together and she is having her BFF sleep over Friday night. Saturday football game, sunday, can shake outside collecting money in the freezing cold.
Help. Please send Help!!!
Oh, and some crazy fears going through my head. I will not be able to balance a boyfriend, 2 jobs and raising a child and a dog and a house. Everything is happening at once. And yeah Don was right. This guy is important to me, and I don't want to F it up. This is also the first guy where it is healthy, genuinely going well, and no insurmountable obstacles like age and having more kids and distance. But in my head, I still expect it must have an expiration date, because they all have. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that it might not. I am living in the moment for the most part and enjoying every moment, but it's that nagging fear that all good things must come to an end.
That's my vent for today. I have to go put out a bunch of fires now. One of the occupational therapists I work with yesterday said to me "Ginger, they couldn't pay me enough to do your job" I responded that they don't!!!
Hey girl- Why are you bringing a new dog into your home in the middle of the work/school week? New dogs, whether puppy or adult, need time to acclimate to their new family. It's not a good idea to get a new pet tonight and then both be gone during the day tomorrow. I'd advise waiting until Friday night so you have the weekend to help your pet get acclimated.
As far as relationship advice - since that is what we mostly do here.
My advice is just be honest with him and communicate to him what is going on.
He will likely be fine as long as he knows what is going on. And he may even help out.
Good advice. We are pretty good at communicating and he is pretty helpful and understanding. I am probably just being my own worst enemy. I manage to make it work, but I guess I just stress on the inside.
KML, as far as the dog, it has to be today for reasons. I understand where you are coming from. But we really don't have a choice. So I will have to make the best of the situation. I hope to go into work later tomorrow and having D11 come home on the bus early. It's not ideal at all, but it is just how it is happening right now.
We now have a new addition to our home, Beanie. he is the absolute cutest dog. He did really well his first night (minus the accident in the hallway) and we played with his for 2 hours this morning and he is very comfortable with us now. It was indeed very hard to leave him, he was sad:( I went to work late, and D11 will be taking the bus home with her bestie so they can take care of him, so he won't be home alone all that long. He was previously though, so he is actually used to it. when I "got the call" that he arrived, it was like going to the hospital to deliver! Maybe scarier. But then we brought him home and it was that motherly love. D11 facetimed her dad and his wife and they were even smitten with him.
My life just got more insane, but filled with much love.
Cool.....I remember when we first got our Golden that just died when he was like 6 weeks old. We had him crated up and he barked all night long, it was so miserable. I finally had to go get him and put him in bed with us just to get some sleep. Before we got the crate we put him in the bathroom during the day with his bed, toys, etc. I came home for lunch to check on him and he had chewed a hole through the dry wall. Fun times
and he stayed over. He went home the next morning but came back last night. I made dinner and dessert for us. He stayed over again. We like each other a lot. I may or may not see him Wednesday, but not this upcoming weekend because we both have our kids. But we spend a good amount of time together. We passed by this mountain that he said has a beautiful, yet strenuous hiking train and he asked if I wanted to go and we bring lunch for when we get to the top, where we can see NYC. I told him I am totally down, and hopefully we will be doing that soon. We have lots of fun together and do different stuff. 
