[bluered]

How do you know if you have detached?

Is it acceptance at its purest form in relationships that are severed?

Sorry I just genuinely don’t know. I haven’t had the courage to open the email which is probably an answer in and of itself.

[bluered]

I’ve spoken with a legal rep regarding my situation. Because it works just the same way in both WA and ON both being no-fault states, he can file there for D in WA although the only caveat is that the digging up of assets cannot happen there because I have not lived in WA for a year.

How Do people freaking afford divorces? We spent like no money when we got married, and parting ways becomes a down payment for a home in some cases. Insanity.

[bluered]

Hi R2C,

Here is his exact email. I don’t know... if it makes me sad that he’s sad (supposedly). But I don’t want to be a fool to think I believe him. In context, I have not replied or contacted him for nearly three weeks.

Thoughts?

—————



How are you lately? Are you still in treatment this week? When will it be over? Are you feeling ok? How are the puppies? Are you able to walk them? It must be getting cold out now. Will you go to the pumpkin patch? I hope you sleep okay at night.

I have been really, really busy at work the last few weeks. It helps take my mind off of things when I'm there. I think I am at my worst state now. I don't sleep. I wish I knew how you were doing. I hope you are doing well. I am a mess. I don't know what to think about outside of work. I stopped talking to the doctor because it wasn't doing anything for me. Do you still see yours? I'm not sure what to do. I truly hate how things turned out. I hate who I am right now. I hate my life. I can't relate to things.

You don't need to respond to this, but I would really appreciate you giving me some way to know how you are doing. An email would be so appreciated. Anything. Please take care of yourself

[DejaVu6]

Hi Bluered. It sounds to me like he is having a little bit of insight and reaching out to you but I am no expert. I think you should definitely respond but keep it short. Be friendly but not too friendly or enthusiastic. Maybe some written validations... “Sorry to hear you are struggling right now. Treatments are ongoing (?). I am okay.” or something to that effect? I think he is reaching out so you should respond in some way that indicates the door is still open. I don’t know your H so can’t really say. There are probably some vets on here with some good advice. Sorry you are ill AND having to deal with this nonsense. Take care of yourself. (((HUGS)))

[bluered]

Hi Cadet, can you please give me some tips on my latest post? I’m not sure if I should respond to his email. I’ve included the actual email.

[bluered]

Thank you DéjàVu. I reached out to Cadet to see another opinion as well l, and I think you may be right with regards to him maybe undergoing a new mental state. It’s still new though, so I’m not completely sold. I don’t know how else to put it. He has been thinking about a divorce for a while though, maybe since this Spring I presume.

H is stubborn, and doesn’t easily say his emotions. I’m more emotion-based and he is logical, although I am more stubborn than he is. He is much more analytic and reason-based (he works as an engineer) and I’m right-brained (I work in the arts sector). We are complete opposites.

[bluered]

I also just want to say thank you for everyone here who have taken their own time to help myself as well as everyone else undergoing this type of hardship in this thing called life.

I very much appreciate all your words and support to a complete stranger. I don’t really have anyone except my therapist. The unbiased non-personal insights I have gained are truly valuable.

Thank you all.

[Ready2Change]

Hi R2C,Thoughts?

How are you lately? Are you feeling ok? hope you sleep okay at night.

Things are actually going really well right now.

How are the puppies?

Puppies are great.

Are you able to walk them? It must be getting cold out now. Will you go to the pumpkin patch?

I have been really busy.


So simple response:

"Hi, I have been extremely busy as well. Things are actually going really well right now. Puppies are great. bluered"

[bluered]

So I emailed him back and this was my response:

I am feeling and doing well. Puppies are their normal and crazy selves as always.

I’ve been busy myself too, and I am still talking to my therapist. Treatments are going well. There is nothing to worry about whatsoever.

You should still speak to a therapist and find one that clicks. Be kind to, and take care of yourself.

Writing the last line got me pretty emotional. I don’t know, just the thought of him digesting everything in a city where he moved to alone makes me sad. I hate this.

[bluered]

Today is a terrible day.
I didn’t sleep at all last night. I just kept on re-reading his email over and over again. Trying to decipher what he’s saying. I was so close to calling him just to see how he’s doing because I’m genuinely concerned although I didn’t.

I just kept on thinking well, he’s not calling you. If it was so dire he would. But then again, when you’re in the pit of despair sometimes you just don’t reach out.

I’m worried about him through what he said in his email although he could just be exaggerating so that it seems like he still cares. I haven’t heard from him after my response. He doesn’t have a strong support network out west as he does here. At least to get his mind off of whatever. Me.