How do you know she’s emailing other men? This is a serious question, not a smart aleck retort. Just because she’s “active” doesn’t necessarily mean she’s sending messages. She may well be talking to other men but there’s no way to know if she does so only when they initiate contact or if she’s actually reaching out. I don’t think any of us can explain it because we’re nit her. I can only speak for myself and I behave pretty much the same in most situations. In dating situations, I’m very reserved and prefer the man take the lead.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I Js thread always makes me want to post the Jon Stewart eating popcorn gif
I'm still laughing at that one - good comment!
I'm not saying that everything he suggests is wrong. I half listened to some more while I was doing other work - so it was in part background wah wah wah but I did hear multiple things come out of his mouth that you've written here Joseph. I'm totally fine with you being the lab rat here so have at it if you think it's going to work. But here's my take, his number one goal is to try to sell his books and make money. Can't fault him there but take it for what it's worth. I also looked around and the comments of his critics are much like my concerns - namely, what training or degree or education in all of this does he have? He seems to be a self-proclaimed life or dating coach, who is divorced by the way and doesn't appear to have a GF. Hmmmmm, that's interesting. I think some of his suggestions will work on a larger base of women. However, I think in great part, his target are not the type of women at least I want to have a LTR with. They are not the Gingers or the Dawns or the KMLs. They are these broken women that don't know what they want, ghost guys at the drop of a hat and have never had a solid R. They are the exact type of women I want to stay away from. I also think he's breeding and creating the types of guys that are ruining it for many other women out there.
Again, all that said, he also has some great points, like don't beg, don't keep texting, don't try so hard so fast, all things I totally agree with. So, yes, his tactics might work on this current woman because she likely is the type looking for the next best, etc. She's like the woman in the kitchen who wanted one thing one minute and another the next. These are totally the women I DO NOT want to win over. Heck they are the ones I'm trying soooooo hard to avoid! That's my concern.
I'll try to check out this other guy and see what I think.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
So here we go.....explain this ladies. She is active on the dating app, obviously emailing or doing something but she doesn't have time to reach out to me but yet she is soooooo interested?????? A perfect example of a lady who is casually dating and talking to multiple men. Again, no issues with it but she has time to contact them but can't initiate contact with me????? Explain that
Yes, of course she is still active! You guys went on one date! She certainly is still looking around. So you were active when you checked her out, does that mean you are emailing other women? I told you why she isn't reaching out! She wants you to take the lead! She has time to do it, yes. She can be interested and no initiate contact. I bet after another date or two she will.
Honestly, you need to make a much more relaxed and less serious approach to this. All the women on there are casually dating and talking to multiple men. And she could have seen you active and thought the same thing about you.
You aren't serious, you are going onto the second date...... I bet she is interested by not head over heels interested. No offense to you. How interested do you get?
Throw the rule book and these crazy Vlogs out the window for a little and RELAX!
I wasn't emailing other women, I got a notification on my phone that someone liked my profile so I checked it out to see who it was. I am interested but not head over heals as well which technically is probably a good thing as all the other girls that I have chatted with or went on dates with that started really fast all fizzled very quickly. So I am glad she is interested but not head over heels interested based on my previous experiences. I hope that make sense. My assumption is that her strategy with all the men she is talking to is to sit back, let them take the lead and then weed them out based on their behavior, neediness, etc.
Anyway I had a really good quote pop up on Instagram today that I thought I would share. Maybe some of you have heard it before.
"Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you and do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?" - Rumi
Yes man...there´s no need to do such biased mind readings. It´s about where you put expectations: stock them in the refrigerator but have the toaster near by.
WW H(me): 53 W: 48 T: 27 M: 22 S: 18 Piecing since 03/2016 Saw the light in the storm
I hear ya G.....I am not going to worry about it any longer. I do plan on reaching out to her tomorrow to see what her availability is for next week either Sunday night or after work one evening. Today is just a day too early for me as it will have been 3 days of NC since our brief exchange on Monday. I really do get the impression from her that she is wanting to take it slow , not that she is not interested but that she is in no hurry. Dating others I am sure but that's ok......I don't have an issue with it. That's why it's called dating. I do believe that if I called her every other day, sent her good morning texts, etc. that those things would be too much at least until she starts to reciprocate.
Obviously she can reach out to me at any time which she has not and based on her track record I don't expect her to. So I did not ask her out for this week but will for next which won't be consecutive weeks. If I don't see her next week then it probably won't happen until after Halloween but if she is that interested it won't matter unless she is willing to meet for lunch or something which I don't like to do (unless she is open for a nooner .
Either way I'll just what happens and take it a day at a time with no expectations.
Alright....so I texted Blondy about next week. She responded within an hour and I asked her what her availability was on my second text (we did have a little banter . She told me she was going to be out of town for work Tues-Thurs, she forgot about my trip next week so she indicated we might need to wait until I get back. My daughters have soccer games on Monday and Thursday of next week which really only leaves Sunday night available (since both of us will be out of town in some capacity). Anyway, I just told her I had limited time as well due to my daughters soccer games, it was cool and we can figure something out when I get back. I felt she was sincere and wasn't blowing me off since she bring up waiting until I get back as an alternative. I guess I could have suggested lunch but that is not very romantic especially for a second date.
I am not concerned but at the earliest it will be about 3 weeks from our initial meeting before we might go out again so I am not sure how often to text, call, etc. I went 9 days before but now since we went on a date that seems a little long to me. Obviously she doesn't seem to be bothered by it so IDK.
