Interesting. Because I am none of those things actions wise. I hate to come across as something I am not. I have needs in an R., but am not needy at all. And certainly not clingy. Very interesting.
I am uber sensitive myself to vibes. And they have almost have always been right. I WAS right that something was off with M. I got panicky, because I was like UGH, this is happening again, but I stood back and realized it probably wasn't me. We were only texting, so he never knew how I was feeling.
I want it, but I don't want it fast. I am not looking to have kids, ect. I want it, RIGHT.
Oh, BTW, I found out that Hot Chocolate is a bit of a sociopath. That wasn't me. He wanted to F around. That was it. And it wasn't what I wanted. I didn't scare him away, we just wanted different things. he was on Tinder in no time it turns out, and I caught him in a bunch of lies, as did my cousin. He is a compulsive liar it turns out.
M is good for me. He is normal, not crazy, doesn't have ED. Sparky is already taken, but he could be named that, lol. I could call him Mr. Fixit, because he is so handy?
So, was I right, was it the gas valves that were turned off? Kinda sounds that way. So, um yeah who's Mr. Fix it now? Clearly not me LOL but I think I may have nailed that [obvious] one. LOL
And you may not come across that way in person - I don't know you in person. I do get a bit of that vibe here but I have "Inside" information. Then again, we may think we hide things things, but we really don't.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
M is good for me. He is normal, not crazy, doesn't have ED.
well, but how can you know that already? (other than the ED perhaps) How do you know he is good for you? How do you know he is normal, not crazy? You think he is, you hope he is but if you think you know already - you are kinda making my point.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
The water and steam valves were turned off, which I knew. I turned them on, but unfortunately because the flooring people broke a pipe, my bedroom flooded when I turned them on. I am so mad at the flooring company already, and I haven't paid yet and I will be deducting $150 from my payment to pay for the plumber. My house has heat, my dryer works, and everything is good at home. for now, lol.
Had my date. I actually went to pick him up because we were going somewhere closer to his home. It's a popular Irish pub, but like 20 min from my house. We walk someone recognizes me and goes to say hi. When I realize who it is, I look away. My "first" after my ex. He was a guy my ex and I used to play poker with at my cousins house (her BIL's friend). He was easy on the eyes, but dumb as rocks. We had our encounter and that was it. He is now 100 lbs heavier (drinks too much) and just not attractive. Over the pat 10 years he shoots me a FB message trying to ask me out. M saw my face and I gave him a non-detailed description and I said we hooked up 10 years ago once and he messages me every now and then on FB. he saw my discomfort, so he scooted over next to me and put his arm around me because he saw him staring. Awkward!
So, we had a great time at dinner. We talked and talked and laughed. We were talking about snap chat and how neither of us knew how to work it. he pulled his on his phone and we began to play with it and he put some heart filter on and took a selfie of us. Then he took another where he turned and kissed my cheek. He's so cute. We went back to his place after and I stayed the night. Everything was really great. he holds me all night and when he wakes up to move, he always kisses me on the head. I went home this morning and showered after we had coffee and came to work.
Things are as good as ever between us. We were talking about stuff in my house and he knows the wall they removed in D11's room had all the electrical and she has only one outlet now. He said he could run a new line for me, no problem. I told him he is not doing anymore work for me. he said he likes to do it and make me smile. I told him he makes me smile in so many other ways too. He said he wants to have back-up plan just in case. I realize his LL is acts of service. I am trying to temper the balance between him doing so much for me, and him doing what he truly wants to do for me.
We will be spending some time together this weekend. I can't wait. Because I already started giving these days to my new job and I am about to be a very busy chick. But I'll have money! Christmas won't be so bleak after all. I might just be drop dead exhausted.
Something else I realized last night. Whenever the ex knows I am with M, he calls me about something. Last night it was about a rebate on the tires he hooked my dad up with. The last time it was about cheerleading, another time about something else. He rarely calls me though, and we usually text. I just noticed it last night. I know he doesn't want me, but he is the type because of his ego, he probably doesn't want anyone else to have me either. Too bad!
Oh, and Don, I don't know if he is good for me in the long run. I just know he is now and he isn't a waving red flag. I'll take it.
Good for you G.....live in the moment and take it day by day. I would definitely let him do things for you especially if he is offering and I wouldn't feel bad about it. Maybe you can pay for dinner one night or something to show your appreciation.
Aww, thanks guys! So far so good. On Saturday we are going to a cidery over the border into upstate NY. It's a really cool place, I've been there with D11 to pick pumpkins and apples, but never the cidery. I'm so excited! Who knows where this is going, but I am enjoying the ride!
I'm so happy that things are going well for you. I can see that you've been making a conscious effort to try to slow down and not get so invested so soon. It's hard to change who you are - nor should you have to - and hormones are hormones so there's not a lot you can do about that. But you seem to be trying to temper things with this guy - and it seems to be working. So don't revert back to old behavior. That's what can easily happen and you won't even know it. It could have started with the text thing a few days ago but you did a great job of not letting it! Keep that up.
As for him helping you, I know for sure I can give you some insight here. I'm not a handy man, I don't enjoy fixing things or doing things - I just don't. But I will still offer. While I can't remember another good recent example, I'll have to use one with Wild Girl, even though I wish I didn't LOL. But she needed new tires and by her own admission is not good at that kind of thing. She also claims and strongly believes that if a woman goes in she will be taken advantage of. While I'm not sure I agree, it's her thought. Anyhow, her dad was going to help her with it. Fine, no need or interest for me to get involved. Well then her dad didn't' follow through so I thought it would be nice if i offered. Just like you, she rejected my offer. Notice the word I used REJECTED the offer. Now as it turns out, her dad did handle it and did a better job (likely) than I would have, and in her area rather than me going to places near me (45-60 minutes from her). Still, what I took from that is - stay away, I can handle things myself, I don't need nor want your help. I did feel a bit rejected. I'm sure she was looking at it like you - not wanting to take advantage, etc. But be careful here, rejecting his offer to help you may feel to him like you are rejecting him. It may feel like you don't want him that close to be helping with things. It may feel like a rejection of intimacy to him. And it may be just that with you. You are very independent and want to "do it yourself." I don't at all think he will feel taken advantage of. It's taking advantage of him to have him do these things then go out with another guy or pull back from him or not want to see him - but still let him fix things. That's a problem. That would be wrong! This is not. You may be doing damage by not accepting his offer - he's OFFERING. That's different than you asking.
Hope that helps.
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
