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ItHurts Offline OP
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Yeah I'll just send her a text of full plans...where we're going and at what times.

Yeah I just had enough of her crap. It was just stupid what was going on. Yesterday was the final straw with her! It's like, stop complaining to me how none of these stiffs she dates isn't this or that! I can really give two sh**s whom you date unless it's me. The crap needed to stop and the pow-wows needed to halt. I was bored. So I laid it out...gave her a chance to back out of the Halloween festivities with me, and she didn't. She definitely was in a different place somehow...like this movie coming out was her wake up call...that and this date must have in some way profoundly altered her perspective of me, somehow, I can't pinpoint it, since it was enough to make her cry. I can't imagine she'd be crying over some guy she met once...I think she was telling me some veiled message. Not that that mind reading crap matters anyway. I just know something triggered something within her because there was something about her yesterday that left me with a sense that she was now thinking if possible R. I wish I could explain it but it's just something knowing her...only way I could describe it was there was no opposition to anything I said which there was a bit of before.

So I guess you could say I reached my breaking point with her because yet AGAIN she intentionally seeks ME out and this time it's not to make pretty little fires and hug each other good night like good little pals do. Something I haven't quite put my finger on was noticeably different in her receptiveness to the blatant R talk. I can't describe it but it left me aith a sense that she is now seriously thinking about us getting back together.

But as always, I'm just going along for the ride to wherever my life road leads me. I just wanted to make DAMN sure she knows that ALL future meetings are now predicated on possible R in her head, not buddies. Screw that. To be honest I've always thought of her too on Halloween and how awesome it was when we were together. Of course I didn't tell her yhat but the last 3 Halloweens weren't too great for me because my life was so drastically different. So I can't understate how special Halloween was to us. So her coming and basically saying she wants to spend the season with me this year is pretty big...even moreso because I made it abundantly clear that ALL of this stuff is predicted on R...and she didn't back out.

So we'll see what happens. Another surprising entry here in my seemingly endless thread in the ongoing WAW sequel currently in production. I'm happy I laid it out with her...biw she knows if she's in my presence it's because I have designs for her. The pal stuff has come to a final screeching halt with me. Knowing she knows that now, it'll be interesting to see where things go. As always, I'm down with whatever...because I know she can't stay away and I suspect she never would be able to now. Overconfident? Perhaps a bit...but I don't have anything to lose this time because after all, I already technically lost her 4 1/2 years ago and I'm still here L-I-V-I-N'!
Que sera sera...that's right. smile

Last edited by ItHurts; 10/15/18 07:52 AM. Reason: typo

ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
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IH, glad you got that out of the way grin Now she knows 100% and without a doubt what you are wanting out of this. The problem is she doesn't know what SHE wants. Hopefully she'll figure that out. Good luck with the date, let us know how it goes!

On a side note, that is so aggravating that she lays that speech on you about not wanting to date and then turns right around to tell you about her latest date. I don't think I could have resisted the world's biggest eye roll.

On another side note, wow this dude barely meets her and tells her he has ED and she needs to be patient?????? Dear walkaway wives, THIS is what you have to look forward to out there in the dating pool! Enjoy!


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57
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Originally Posted by AnotherStander

On another side note, wow this dude barely meets her and tells her he has ED and she needs to be patient?????? Dear walkaway wives, THIS is what you have to look forward to out there in the dating pool! Enjoy!


THIS^^^^^^^^^^

The grass ain't always greener!


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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IH - I am so happy to read this update. Whatever happens with you and W is to be seen, but I am super pumped to read how you took charge and handled the situation and stopped the nonsense. Life is short for all the ridiculous drama and back and forth. Make up your mind or step off. Wish you all the best in whatever happens next.


No one is coming to save you!

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Originally Posted by Steve85
Originally Posted by AnotherStander

On another side note, wow this dude barely meets her and tells her he has ED and she needs to be patient?????? Dear walkaway wives, THIS is what you have to look forward to out there in the dating pool! Enjoy!


THIS^^^^^^^^^^

The grass ain't always greener!



I sooooooooooo have to agree and in fact said this to a friend of mine who has a friend who is newly D'd. I do not at all think she is a WAW (but can't yet be positive). She is only 4 months post D and about 15 post S. I guess none if this really matters to my point but she correctly is not yet ready to date and did not have an affair. While I applaud her in not dating when I ran across her and figured out she was the friend my friend had mentioned I became interested. So, here's my point, I recently told my friend I'd love to take her out or at least meet her when she's ready I added how I might be saving her from whats out there and how my friend as well as this lady have zero idea what it's like. Most people do not. It's hard to imagine if you've never expierenced it. I think if more people knew what we knew they would fight tooth and nail to save their M.


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Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Haha yes indeed I did react even better than the world's biggest eye roll when she told me about that date haha. That's why I told her she's wasting her time...she's not going to find me in anyone other than...well...ME! I was just shocked that there was no opposition from her like there usually was. It was almost like she had this unspoken and newfound acceptance of the fact that she might want to R. As I said it's so damned difficult to put in words such an intangible sense I get from her but SOMETHING happened that opened her eyes a bit more...that's the only way I could describe it. It just seems to me that after I had it out with her about the nonsense and that i think the writing is on the wall as to what she should be doing at this point; that she didn't at all try and back out of this date. That, to me, is affirmation that she has accepted my now-clear intentions and is willing to move forward in that respect. I just wish I knew what the hell it was that finally lit the light bulb in her head. There was just something different about her...she didn't try to shoot down anything I said...instead she had an attitude of being open to it now. Something left me with the sense that R is on her mind as a possible now...whatever happened to trigger this in the past two weeks since I last heard from her is unknown...but something was markedly different about her demeanor this time.
In any case, she knows what my intentions are now.


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
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I,

I think its because you acted like alpha and were direct and to the point and she was able to submit to you which is a feminine quality.

No going back on your word now. Reconciliation or bust my friend.

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Yup...that could be it LH. I really was fed up. It's like you come here to basically hint around that you want to spend time with me for the Halloween season...well it's not happening until the elephant in the room is addressed. I basically told her it's so pathetically obvious that she should not be wasting time dating and instead put that energy into her and I getting back together. That this hanging out crap was just stupid. That's it's obvious you can't go two weeks without me now. So you could be right. All I know is she had plans to try and get me and her to hang out for Halloween well before she got to my work. Just the way she brought up the pumpkins and explained what her plan was (where we would buy them, etc) demonstrated to me that she had this planned out.
It was one of those "I was thinking that we could..." kind of things. Not something she thought up right then and therem it's like she told herself if I get him to see the movie with me then maybe I'll ask him to carve pumpkins another day too.
She had a plan for sure.

Oh and there's no going back on my word because the minute she starts opposing me and possible R is the moment I'm basically going to tell her then we don't hang out anymore. Go on with your life because I can never truly be just your friend. It's romantic or it's nothing. However as I said something tells me she's not going to oppose me but who knows...only time will tell and all that matters is I have a solid plan of action in either case. I am prepared to walk forever if need be.

Last edited by ItHurts; 10/15/18 06:24 PM.

ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 9,826
Likes: 233
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Shut down the friend zone!


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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ItHurts Offline OP
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Exactly Steve...I just added another paragraph to my previous post saying exactly that as you were typing your reply.


ME: 43 W:44
M 13 years on 5-5-01
T 18 years
BD 4/27/14
D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date)
WAW moved out 5/12/14
Papers filed 6/27/14
Divorce granted 07/17/14
Our marriage ends 11/17/14
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