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Babe #2815820 10/04/18 12:36 PM
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Babe,

Reconnecting takes a long time. It takes as much time for them to come out the other side as it took for them leading up to the crisis.

Only text him if you have something important for him to weigh in on. He may need some space after spending the weekend away celebrating his birthday. This is so very normal because they think that their emotions warmed up too much too soon and then they have to back off a bit and "not give you the impression that they are warming back up to you".

Keep up the good work!


Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Babe #2815946 10/05/18 12:18 AM
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Job,

Thank you so much ! I appreciate every advice you gave me in past years.
I keep things light, simple and quiet, although they are having crisis they are not stupid... oh by the way, I'm not at level 8 of my french lesson, I had exam month ago and I got pretty good grade smile

Babe #2815947 10/05/18 12:47 AM
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I am just now reading his thread for the first time, and your faith keeps me inspired. Although I am early in this process, with H moving out only this week, I too am praying the God will find a way into his heart so he can begin to heal and find peace ....something I'm not sure he ever has had. I am turning my life over to HIM, and pray that I continue to make the right choices that keeps me on the path HE has laid out for me. It sure helps to share the burden! Good luck on your journey!


M: 56
H: 57
S: 22
D: 20

H Moved out: 10/1/18
Grace21 #2816113 10/06/18 12:04 AM
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Grace, I'm so sorry you are here, sorry that your husband moved out... (mine moved out at June 2015 and is not coming home yet) you will survive this even now it seems everything is hopeless. Our God is great, just you remember this, nothing is too hard for our Lord!!

Please learn about MLC as much as possible from this forum, here you will find the most useful knowledge and the great people who contribute selflessly, once you have the knowledge and tools, you will be able in solving the problem husband might throw to you.

Please take care of yourself and your financial. Here's my favorite verse to you - I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Babe #2816169 10/06/18 09:31 PM
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Babe, I was so excited to see you posted. I love your posts and get so much strength from your faith.

My situation has gotten dark beyond bearing, as my H filed and is going after children, everything, but lives here and refuses to leave. I have no money for a lawyer, trying to navigate this morass to protect my children but not become a slave to the world either.

I was given Joshua 1:9 several times in the last month, so I am leaning on it always.

If you have a chance to visit my thread, I would love to get your take as you have so much trust in God and are so loving.

Last edited by Gerda; 10/06/18 09:31 PM.

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.
Babe #2816183 10/06/18 10:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Babe
Grace, I'm so sorry you are here, sorry that your husband moved out... (mine moved out at June 2015 and is not coming home yet) you will survive this even now it seems everything is hopeless. Our God is great, just you remember this, nothing is too hard for our Lord!!


I am surprised to learn your H moved out 3 years ago! I am the one who told him I thought it best he move out so he can figure out if he wants to work on the R, or move on. I sometimes wonder whether I should have done that, since now it might be easier just to move on. I just pray daily that God is putting forth decisions for me to move me along HIS path for me and my marriage, and that I make the right choices! Week 1 was filled with activities, so I am doing o.k. Peace to you.

Last edited by Grace21; 10/06/18 10:56 PM.

M: 56
H: 57
S: 22
D: 20

H Moved out: 10/1/18
Grace21 #2816293 10/08/18 11:03 AM
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Grace,

Sorry I was busy, but I like to leave a message to you, please take care of yourself and try to focus on you first. I know there are so much things come and go in your head right now, it is pretty normal... I know it seems impossible, but please start to get a life, to do the things for yourself mainly !

I recall that it is not encouraged to ask husband moving out, they are deep in the crisis, if he is not moving, don't force him. Knowing it is very difficult to live with the monster under the same roof right now. I pray our Lord would lead you and strenthens you.

My heart was broken when he told me he want to move out, I try to reason with him, I urge him to stay, non of them works, he said he needs time and space (they really do). After he moved out, that was 10 months after bomb dropped. I start to pull myself all together. I live alone, I went to church alone, I worked as volunteer alone. Later I found peach. I started language lessons that I always want to. It is not easy for me to live alone after all we've been together over ten years. I can not stop his crisis, I could not fix him but God can, so, I leave him to God.

Instead of ask him out, why not focus on you ? Do no seize on praying, the whole process takes time, you will survive !!

Babe #2816430 10/08/18 09:11 PM
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Originally Posted by Babe
Instead of ask him out, why not focus on you ? Do no seize on praying, the whole process takes time, you will survive !!


He's been out a week now. I have little contact with him except brief text messages here and there. An I am seriously focusing on me! Have plans most nights of the week - either exercise class, church, or dinner with friends. I've got lots of projects at the house too. An I pray!!!


M: 56
H: 57
S: 22
D: 20

H Moved out: 10/1/18
Babe #2816680 10/10/18 06:54 AM
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Grace, You're doing pretty good, I know how it feels, must be sad and frustrated right now. It is normal, at the beginning I did not know what to do day by day, week by week... after a while (ten months) I realize how I should move on and start to do the things I like and I enjoy doing. You will find it, don't push yourself to hard meantime I hope with God's power and our praying, you'll feel free and safe in Lord's hand.

Babe #2820151 11/01/18 01:15 AM
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I like to thank Virginia for her help; I lost my password last week...
Although I did not receive email from the system, today I recall my logging name and my correct password smile
Thanks, Virginia for getting back to me !

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