Just starting! Need some emotional support! #2

[Stryk2]

WTF? Wife asked if I watched any of the Kavanaugh hearings today. Wanted my opinion. Huh?

Then asked if I wanted to go see a baseball game this weekend. Son is going to see football with friends. I was caught off guard and asked who was going? She said no one just us three. She was checking to see if Daughter needed a ticket.

So confused right now. I'm back in bed and she's watching football with S.

[Stryk2]

Decided that when the W is ready to talk, I would just tell her what assignment I was going to take. If she had any opinion or input to let me know. I'm going to pick a weekday day shift without callouts that will work if W and I separate or not. It will be more consistent over the next 3 years regardless. Not dangerous or glamorous like I think the wife likes but I have to do it for daughter and me.

I don't plan on telling why I chose the assignment. My second choice won't have callouts either but maybe a little trickier with hours as I will have 2nd pick of the shifts. Might have to work nights though. We shall see.

Any thoughts on my game plan?

[Ready2Change]

...I would just tell her what assignment I was going to take.....but I have to do it for daughter and me.

Telling here what you decided is good.

Basing the decision on what is good for daughter and you is awesome.

That is DBing!

[Stryk2]

It's been almost a week since I could back to the forums. So darn busy and zero extra time.

Well, Friday son had a great game and we decided to attend the after party. Neither of us wanted to go but decided it was polite to attend. After party is at a different place so we walk in and set up our chairs in the backyard. I tell the wife to go mingle and I would sit with our daughter. She gets a drink and walks off. A couple of wives come to me to talk with my daughter (old wives). I can tell my wife is having a hard time fitting in and joining the other wife groups and returns to sit with daughter and me. A few wives and coaches gather around us and start conversations. W tells everyone, we were deciding whether to go to a baseball game or beach the next morning. We both explain the pros and cons of each and most agree with the beach. Parents start to compliment us on how we raised a son and having such a well behaved daughter. We end up staying about an hour talking about sons journey in sports and how we navigated it. She is now using the term WE. She had been using HER when talking to people. Daughter falls asleep in my lap and we make our way out of the party.

Next morning wife wakes up with a headache and says let's just take D to the movies. I agree and take D outside to work on the yard. She is my shadow and helps me with everything. Around noon W says movie starts soon and seems to be in a good mood. The movie was fun for all three of us. W seemed to enjoy everything. As soon as the movie was over, W was moody and short tempered. Daughter and I went back outside to work again.

Sunday morning, I had picked up a job taking photos of about 30 female athletes. I told W she had to go with me for obvious reasons. I was ready and waited for W and daughter. She was moody already and we get to the photoshoot. She is upset and says, we should have been here 30 minutes ago to set up. I ignore her. She starts barking at where I need to park and I ignore her. We park and on the way to the room, daughter is running behind W and trips and skins her knee. W is now furious. We get inside and W asks where I want to take the pictures. I point at the corner of the room and she says, I don't think that's a good spot and points to the opposite side of the room. I tell her, I've taken photos in this room several times and used both sides of the room. Photos were always better on the side I point to. Shes annoyed and says, I didn't know you have taken photos in here before and repeats, you should have been here 30 minutes ago. I stopped what I was doing and looked her straight in the eyes and said STOP, stop the attitude now. There are 30 kids and 15 parents all around but I said it low enough not to make a scene or anyone could hear. I continued on with my business. The photo shoot went great and my wife ended up being a big help. Her mood had changed to pleasant by the end.

Daughter starts saying she is hungry and wants tacos, wife recommends a place and we have a good lunch. We return home and she says she has to go to the store and takes daughter. I notice the tampon in the trash. Now I understand the mood swings. Glad I didn't bite when she challenged me¡

[ovrrnbw]

Good to hear Stryk, just don't mind read on her saying "we" in that environment. That doesn't mean anything has changed at all. Keep DB'ing. Keep your cool.

[Stryk2]

I completely agree ovr,

It was the environment while I was there causing her to say WE.

[Stryk2]

Came home and started working on photos from Sunday. W came home and dropped off Daughter while she went to a sports meeting. At the end of the night, we discuss photos. She takes daughter to bed usually I don't speak to her again until morning. Tonight she comes into the office where I'm working and just watches me work. It's been a long time since she has done that. A very long time. W tells me one of the moms from the photo shoot bought an outfit for my daughter. I was like really, why would she do that? I've known the mom since I was in elementary school but it was still weird. After that, It was awkward with W standing behind me. I felt as if she wanted to say something more. I turned around as if I was ready to listen but she didn't say a thing. I felt like I had to break the silence and awkwardness. I just made small talk about a photo I was working on. Then silence again as she stood there. No sighs or deep breaths just standing there. At some point which felt like 10 minutes of watching me, she turned and said goodnight.

[Stryk2]

Don't know what I should take from this morning. Good or bad?

Woke up around 4 am. Let a cat outside and sat in bed awake. 30 minutes let the 2nd cat out and first back in. Got up a few times after due to morning w00d. W got up at 6 am.

We did the usual morning routine with no communication. She goes to iron a shirt and I walk by. She asks why I was up so early and I stop and say. "I have physical needs that need to be met by women and I want to meet hers." I turned and walked away without needing her reaction. Just answered her question honestly.

I later put daughter in the car like usual and wife walks outside. I expected her to ignore me and just get in the car, she appeared ashamed. She looked at me then away. Looked back up to me and away again. Both times with her head slightly down and through her eyelashes. I didn't say a thing and continued to walk inside. She looks up a 3rd time and says goodbye. We normally don't say a word to each other.

It definitely didn't feel like temp checking.

[ovrrnbw]

Don't try to mind read, don't get too excited, stay calm Stryk. Nobody knows what's going through her head but her, and if she wants to tell you then you'll know.

[Stryk2]

I'm picking up what you're putting down ovr. I'm not getting excited just a little more confident on what I want for myself. I like the feedback from you all. I'm slowly gaining my balls back so to speak. It helps me validate with confidence. Keep the feedback coming. I don't want to get over confident.