Sorry D I missed your post yesterday. The difference between the two is how our last conversations ended. The first girl sent me a text last Tuesday and I responded to her question and then asked her a question. She never followed up with me nor did she answer my question. I assumed something changed with her and since she did not respond to me and answered my question I am not going to send her another text. I hit the ball over the net and she did not return the ball back.
The blonde girl and I left our conversation open ended with us both agreeing to talk to each other later. There were no un-answered questions and we both ended the conversation with TTYL. Now with this girl since our last text exchange was left open ended I don't consider it dead. Now I know she is talking to multiple guys, she is active on the dating app. She has also not reached out to me either.....she has my number and can just as easily text me as I can text her. This tells me that she is casually dating which is fine so I am going to take it slower with her. If I push this girl to meet up quickly and I over text her she is probably going to run scared for fear of me trying to put her into R status. So I decided to play it slow, I will reach out to her on Thursday and make plans for us to meet up next week.
I guess those are the two differences in the sitch. I would have continued talking to the first girl but she did not respond to my last text so something changed with her and I am not going to double text her. I hope that clears it up.
I don't want to play games but it has become obvious to me that with OLD you really have no choice. I think if the girl is looking for a R you can pursue a little more but if she is just casually dating you must show extreme patience.
My buddy has been dating the same girl for over 2 years and she made the mistake of taking his daughters out to get their nails done. When his XW found out she was unglued because his girlfriend did that. Get your popcorn ready LH!
Back when I was a fool and was trying to use logic and reason with my Ex, I asked her how should would feel when I met another woman and she took my D to get her hair and nails done. Her response was she was too secure in her motherhood to let that bother her. Will see but I bet she loses it too lol!
As for OLD, I am having trouble with girls being able to hold a conversation.
I remember I wanted to beat the crap out of OWW when she was doing those types of things with my daughter. Now? I'm thankful because I don't have to pay all the time! Nails get expensive!
I don't think they are as detached as they think they are. IMO they are so wrapped up in their own mess they probably never really thought about another woman entering their lives. I think you will see a different side to your X.
I have had some girls that it was very easy to hold a conversation with and others where it was extremely difficult. For me I can tell a lot with how they respond, how enthusiastic they come across and whether or not they make jokes and can make fun of themselves. The blonde that I have pseudo been talking to has been very easy to talk to, the banter between us was instant. She told me how handsome I was and how she would meet me wherever I wanted and for me to pick the place. So it has been hard to hold myself back and restrain myself from over pursuing someone who is clearly casually dating.
I think you have to try to figure out what their intentions are and adjust your communication style to fit. I think the girls that want a R will have no problems texting you and reaching out to you between dates and/or initiating contact. The ones that are casually dating will never initiate with you as in their eyes that means having more of a vested interest.
I tend to gravitate to those girls that make the conversation easy and fun. The blonde girl and I had almost our entire conversation about high school, the fact that she was 2 years older than me, and that she used to wear shoulder pads with a chili bowl haircut. I told her she was not getting a date with me until I saw picture. I just try to look for stuff like that to banter back and forth with but she made it pretty easy by her communication style.
The other girl that went dark on me I guess did not like my comment about the rapper Ice Cube. She asked me how my day was and I told her in the words of Ice Cube "Today is a good day"........she never responded back which is fine with me because if you are too wound tight or take yourself that seriously then your not the one for me.
The other girl that went dark on me I guess did not like my comment about the rapper Ice Cube. She asked me how my day was and I told her in the words of Ice Cube "Today is a good day"........she never responded back which is fine with me because if you are too wound tight or take yourself that seriously then your not the one for me.
I don't think that's why she went dark on you. She asked you how your day was, but you didn't ask her how HER day was. Maybe she was going to come back with a witty response if you asked her......
I left the part of my message off G......after I said that I told her I was trying to decide on whether or not go to soccer practice tonight. Then I ended the message with How is your day?? Crickets.
I guess she doesn't like Ice Cube I mean who doesn't like Ice Cube. Really??????
Just an example of how flakey they can be. With this one she initially reached out to me. We chatted for several hours on Sunday. We exchanged numbers on Sunday. She initiated the first text to me on Monday and we chatted for 10 min or so. Then she initiated contact with me again on Tuesday......so I responded with what I said above and she doesn't respond to me with how her day was and now she is not initiating anything. She went from pursuing me hard to nothing and the only think I did was quote Ice Cube. Which was a joke but I mean if this is what your going to do and this is what is going to cause you to flake out then it worked out the way it was supposed to and it saved me $50.
Yeah my ex is totally not detached. She hates that a friend of mine's W is my running partner. She hates that I still see her cousin who has been in my life since she was 9. Right before she moved out she said if I ever sleep with her she will never speak to either of us again lol.
Here's a message string from a beautiful girl on Bumble:
Friday at 6:00 her: Good evening!!
Friday at 10:30: Hey ____ how is your Friday night going?
Sunday at 10:00 her: This weekend went way to fast
Monday 7:15 : They always do! I hope you had fun! After reading your profile I realized I don't know anything about you lol. (just pictures)
Her: Men actually read those? lol
Me: Good point but I'm not like most men lol. Observation: Pictures were taken in a bar. Patron or an employee?
Her: First pic in bar. Others with friends.
Me: (running out of options) I see you are wearing a (NFL Team) shirt. Are you a big football fan?
Her: uuuuh sometimes lol.
At that point I gave up. It was tough because she was smoking hot.
I have a good one going with another girl that I can't meet just yet due to logistics but I don't want to put my eggs all in one basket.
I would give up too.......it is clear that she is casually dating by her delayed response times. You matched....she can always circle back at a later time and get the conversation going again. She also wasn't making it very easy on you.
I wonder if she was looking for a date over the weekend since she hit you up on Friday night at 6 pm? Usually Friday and Saturday nights are no's no's since no one wants to be the one that doesn't have a date
I have actually started to factor that in.....the time and date they initiate conversation. I had one girl hit me on Saturday morning and asked me if I had any plans. Dumb me said something stupid and she never responded. It seemed clear to me that she was looking for a date.
On a side note, a guy I work with texted me this morning and asked if he could talk to me. I said sure come to my office at 9:00. Long story short, his W wants a D and he knows I just went through it so he as asking my opinion.
Gave out real life DB advice. I swear this $hit is an epidemic!
I mean who doesn't like Ice Cube. Really??????