update... went to see my IC today, and he gave me. very sound advice with regards to helping my D14’s R with WW. according to him, since am doing NC with WW, it is hurting my D14 in the long run, “monkey do, monkey see”. If I don’t talk to WW, D14 follows my lead as I am the responsible adult in her life right now. IC suggests to sit down with WW and tell her that we need to communicate better, as our NC is hurting D14. My question now is, do i do it or is this counter intuitive to NC?. i love D14 and i don’t want her hurt or ruined, and i also would like it if she has an R with WW. if i should do this, do i text her? email? handwritten letter? or just sit down with her? i would be approaching it this way, hopefully somebody chimes in:
LBH: WW i am angry and hurt at what you’re doing right now. you can call it what you want but for me and D14 we see it as an A. but i am going to be the better person here and let you know that we are destroying our D14 by not talking. We need to better communicate. If you can’t or you won’t we can ask a mediator (IC) to be in the middle of it.The way I see it, because I am engaged with you even for just a simple convo about D14, she follows my lead. So to stop the further harm that we’re doing to her, we need to change our dynamics.
i don’t want to appear weak, begging or pursuing, hence am here to ask for help.
Take my advice with a grain of salt, i dont have any qualifications to give anyone advice. I dont know if your W cares or not, but id be hesitant to add that your D14 follows your lead. That opens you up to blame down the road when something else goes wrong in their R. I may be thinking of the way my sitch usually goes, but just food for thought. If your W is anything like mine, youll get blamed for any and everything.
