That's what I want...I want it to be simple. I want her to just say something to me...hey it's a lot of back and forth can you just take them after church or whatever. She is complicating things. Just be honest and up-front.
I don't want the details because I don't want her to feel like she has to explain herself to me or give me the details on why she wants to drop them off early or whatever.. IMO her giving me the details on what she is doing, especially if it involves doing something with her BF seems to friendly to me. Just like I don't want our mutual family friend to tell me how often her and him have sex. I don't care but I don't need to hear it.
Truthfully L I think my XW wants us to be friends, her therapist, etc. Which is why I don't want to know anything and when she started talking about him I shut it down. She no longer brings anything up which is what I asked for but I didn't ask her to lie to me either. As you guys have indicated she can still be honest with me without her spilling her guts to me about what she doing or where she is going.
I feel like I would be taking a step back if I started allowing her to talk to me about him or tell me that she needed me to watch the girls so she could go see him.
Our family friend I think thought she was helping me by telling me how often they had sex (like it would help me move on or something) but she also has a big mouth and likes to talk. When I told her I never wanted to discuss my X and what she was doing ever again it pissed her off and then she brought up it involving our girls and her bringing other men into their lives. I had to remind her that this has nothing to do with our girls and as their father I am fully aware of what I need and do not need to know. She was overstepping her boundaries.
I just feel as though I have made too much progress to turn around and be ok with her telling me about what she is doing. I actually had to have the same conversation with my mom. She started talking to me about what she had found on the Internet and I had to tell her to keep whatever she finds to herself.
Yeah.....the only thing I can think of is they just don't understand all the emotions even though they have went through divorce themselves. I don't think it is with malicious intent I just don't think they are thinking or maybe in some way they think they are helping.
As far as the X goes I think if I were friends with her it would make it easier on her.
No I know they are not doing it intentionally especially your mom.
Your kids are really young you are stuck with this BS for a long time.
Like I saw Accuray post once " you will get a point where if you saw your ex having $ex on your lawn you would just say to yourself "that's weird" LOL.
I feel like I am getting closer but I am still not ready to hear about some things. Honestly she should be moving on as well and not feel the need to tell me certain things either. I know she doesn't want to recon but she is not as detached as she would like to believe. On Saturday I made some funny joke to some soccer parents and she laughed and said "Oh J9". Those things don't bother me any more but I still notice them and she catches herself as well.
Anyway....it is what it is. We only live 4 miles apart and we do a good job of co-parenting with each other. She has also been really good about using the child support money I give her towards the girls. She sends clothes with them to keep at my place, puts money in their lunch account, paid for their soccer uniforms, etc. Those things don't happen every month but I know she is trying.
She did all the school clothes shopping and everything to prepare for my Ds birthday party and just asked for half the money when she is entitled to 60%.
She let me keep the house with no fight and barely took anything inside. I definitely used the guilt to my advantage.
Hope it lasts but at some point, probably when I get a girlfriend or when she realizes she is screwing herself I expect it to change.
Mine barely took anything either....my mom was actually shocked at what she left behind. Mine wanted no part of the house as well. I'm glad I was able to keep it for the girls.
Things will definitely change when you meet someone. My buddy has been dating the same girl for over 2 years and she made the mistake of taking his daughters out to get their nails done. When his XW found out she was unglued because his girlfriend did that. Get your popcorn ready LH!
