been hanging out in this forum for a while. finally got the will to post my own stitch. been married for 16 years. been together for 22. dog died this year and that's when the spouse started to become a WW. April this year i caught them both on my bed but according to her, nothing happened so i believed and forgave her. july came and that's when i got the ILYBINILWY spill. so now she's has forgotten everything, me, the house, our two dogs that are still alive and most importantly our daughter. the reason she gave why she became a WW, is because i wasn't there to mourn with her when the dog died March of this year.Me and my daughter were there with her when they put him to sleep. But that night I had to work. That's how I cope with losing a loved one. I keep busy. But for now she's still mourning the loss of our lovely dog, she's still holding on to his ashes and according to her she's still in mourning. But at the same time having an affair with a co-worker, because according to her, he listens to her, he makes her laugh. So for now I have gone dark. D13 turning D-14 this month knows all too well what is happening. W has asked her to lie for her whenever she hangs out with OM. Yet, WW still insists that I have exposed and destroyed D13's innocence by telling her about her A. Right now me and D13 are seeing different therapist. W comes to her sessions, but doesn't know that I see one myself. This is my stitch for now. Will try to expound more if there are q's. Very glad I found this place.
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL).
DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
thanks neffer. as what my thread title states, i have been hanging out for a while. been reading every bit of info and applying them as means to work in myself.
sorry you're here. Mourning a dog stinks, but that doesn't justify an affair. Neither does some funny POS from work listening to her. She shouldn't be talking like that with him anyways.
You literally caught the OM in your own bed? I can't imagine how I'd react.
Has your WW mentioned divorce? What's your daughter say about it?
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Did you say you caught them in YOUR bed, and believed her when she said nothing was going on? What was her 'excuse' for another dude being in your bed with her?
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
over and ter... told me she needed a hug from someone because she was still and still is in mourning. never mind that my daughter was just a couple of feet right next door. hard part about this is the POS was considered a real friend. can come and go in our house anytime. with regards to D, she has mentioned she wants out of the M, she felt suffocated. The reason being is after forgiving her. and being the nice guy that I am, I still let her hangout with POS. So i asked her maybe she can tone down the interaction with POS. I trusted her that much. Not knowing that I would've been played for a fool. Regarding D13, she knows what's happening. she's hurting. and she's with me throughout this hurtful path her mother is taking. We're in an in-house-separation, WW has been threatening to move out, for lik a lot, but hasn't gone through with it. She's scared probably that she'll lose her D13. WW doesn't come home when I don't work and we know where she is. But when i work she is home late. Probably also scared that if something happens to D13 she'll be blamed for it. D13 has also gone dark with her. WW hasn't even tried to talk to her, text her or even knocked on her door to let her know she's home.
over and ter... told me she needed a hug from someone because she was still and still is in mourning. never mind that my daughter was just a couple of feet right next door. hard part about this is the POS was considered a real friend. can come and go in our house anytime. with regards to D, she has mentioned she wants out of the M, she felt suffocated. The reason being is after forgiving her. and being the nice guy that I am, I still let her hangout with POS. So i asked her maybe she can tone down the interaction with POS. I trusted her that much. Not knowing that I would've been played for a fool. Regarding D13, she knows what's happening. she's hurting. and she's with me throughout this hurtful path her mother is taking. We're in an in-house-separation, WW has been threatening to move out, for lik a lot, but hasn't gone through with it. She's scared probably that she'll lose her D13. WW doesn't come home when I don't work and we know where she is. But when i work she is home late. Probably also scared that if something happens to D13 she'll be blamed for it. D13 has also gone dark with her. WW hasn't even tried to talk to her, text her or even knocked on her door to let her know she's home.
over and ter... told me she needed a hug from someone because she was still and still is in mourning. never mind that my daughter was just a couple of feet right next door. hard part about this is the POS was considered a real friend. can come and go in our house anytime. with regards to D, she has mentioned she wants out of the M, she felt suffocated. The reason being is after forgiving her. and being the nice guy that I am, I still let her hangout with POS. So i asked her maybe she can tone down the interaction with POS. I trusted her that much. Not knowing that I would've been played for a fool. Regarding D13, she knows what's happening. she's hurting. and she's with me throughout this hurtful path her mother is taking. We're in an in-house-separation, WW has been threatening to move out, for lik a lot, but hasn't gone through with it. She's scared probably that she'll lose her D13. WW doesn't come home when I don't work and we know where she is. But when i work she is home late. Probably also scared that if something happens to D13 she'll be blamed for it. D13 has also gone dark with her. WW hasn't even tried to talk to her, text her or even knocked on her door to let her know she's home.
I"m sure people with a lot more knowledge than me will be along shortly. My only advice is to listen to them. Try not to worry about her and him. Take care of yourself and D13.
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
