W texted me. She set the mediation date for next Wednesday. I thanked her for letting me know and told her I would add it to my calendar so I would remember to be there.
It's still sad that she's willing to pay my half of this, but she's also getting kicked out of her apartment for not paying the bill.
I know that means that in the future she's going to have trouble finding places she can live. Her mom co-signed for her apartment, so that's going to mess that option up for her.
I get the feeling that she's just so hell bent on getting this done that she's overlooked some major things...and now I'm at the part where I'm starting to come to terms with it being over. I'm trying to bow out gracefully (while still trying to DB). Even though I know I'll be D in about 3 weeks most likely, I get the feeling that I'll be plan J or something down the road. I don't know why I feel that way.
It hurts. But I'm going to be ok. Just going to keep moving ahead.
bm, think about where you came from. I still remember her picking up your S, you trying to flag her down to talk, and her smiling wryly, waving and just kept going. Until you got to the point where she was calling, talking, hugging, wanting you to meet them for lunch, etc. DBing your butt off got you so much further ahead than you were.
And then when you stopped DBing, let OM get in your head, and you reverted on all those hard earned changes (just like sandi warns about), now you are facing your worst fear.
So what is the answer? Do what works! Stop doing what doesn't. What worked was DBing. What didn't work was not DBing.
So get back to it. Always be DBing. DB through mediation. DB through D. DB through coparenting. DB DB DB
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
She told me she had to work till 9 tonight (I'm picking up S from school), and she wouldn't be able to get off early. She knows I have access to her schedule through my work. She knows she's not scheduled that late.
She told me she had to work till 9 tonight (I'm picking up S from school), and she wouldn't be able to get off early. She knows I have access to her schedule through my work. She knows she's not scheduled that late.
I just really hate the lies.
Unfortunately, you have to let it go. Lying is a major part of where they are at their waywardness. In my sitch, i didnt believe it was humanly possible to lie so much but my W has done it for over a year and a half straight. As you said, it doesnt matter if its easy to prove them wrong or not, they are going to lie. My W's lies were on par with something a 5 year old would put together, you could see straight through them and prove they were wrong in some cases. She still kept lying though. If i was you, id expect more of the same...lies.
Together:20 years M:3 years Me:40 WW:40 S15 A suspected:5/17 AC:5/18 BD:8/18 WW in full blown R w/ OM Still under same roof
W picked up S. No fighting or arguing. She even asked if I wanted to come say goodnight to S after she got him in his car seat. She put on some music for him (although Believe by Cher seems a bit passive-aggressive lol).
I said goodnight to S, goodnight to W, and smiled and waved them off.
Bonus S time! W is bringing some furniture to my apartment this evening, and she asked if I would pick S up from school so she can have a little bit more time to get her moving done since she's on a tight deadline. I told her I'd be glad to pick him up.
It's nice to get along with her. I just hope that over time she comes around.
