Sounds like you are moving along nicely w/the contractors. You will need to get on the landlord about the money this coming week. Are you getting several estimates on your flooring?
I think it's very nice that you are throwing a birthday bash for your DB friend. He will enjoying the party as well as seeing all of his friends. You are a great friend to all who know you.
As for the weight gain...let that be...you'll lose the weight once you are in your new home and have things to do that will keep your mind and body busy.
Travel safely and have a great time!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
he party for my friend was very nice. Everyone showed. Even exNG who we all figured even though he said he would, wouldn't. He showed without his fiancé and with his daughter who was so nice to see. He actually stayed the for a very long time. He sat down and had a convo with D10 and she told him all about our house, school, ect. The kids were playing, and we all sat around the firepit. he was across from me. He was telling a story about his now ex friend and he said, well, I was using Ginger as an example as how she is completing her degree online, raising a child and working full time" Once in a while we would make jabs at each other about how I live in NJ and sooooo far away which is what ultimately ended our R. twice I caught him staring at me, and once, I caught myself staring at him. It is awkward in how someone can feel so familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time. I can't believe I once saw the rest of my life with him. He saw the same, I do know he did. He just didn't want the work to get there. I would have moved up there. I truly would have. If he would have shown commitment to me and put effort in, I would have done what he wanted. I really, truly loved him. Now he is engaged to some woman who he spoils to death monetarily. Funny how things turn out.
I was really really happy to see the whole friends group, including him, all together . It doesn't happen often that he is there anymore because his fiancé isn't social. And he said when he left "I really need to do this more often, I love it". And I know that. Because when we were together he would tell me how much he missed just being around his friends. He hugged me goodbye and thanked me for inviting him because he had such a good time.
There were so many woulda coulda shoulda beens in who reappear in my life in someway. It makes me so sad how none of them really panned out and I got hurt multiple times because if my own fault. My exH was a third chance.
I need to leave all the guys in my past in the past and not let them re-enter my life. I hope one day to meet a guy, and not have to be I the position for second chances. That we work for on the first time.
I was bored and swiping around on bumble. I came across my cousin's BIL and a single dad in town. But, I did message this one guy. He tells me he hasn't been on the dating scene in 15 years. I said "oh, newly divorced?" he tells me, "no, freshly separated". I asked him what made him get back on the scene so soon. He tells me " I just want to get over her".
I, of course, explain that getting over someone doesn't mean getting under someone else and you really have to do the work and be right with yourself. I also said , I am sure you don't want to use some nice woman who is in a good place and looking to add to her life just so that you can get over your ex?"
An interesting tid bit: I was bored and swiping around on bumble. I came across my cousin's BIL and a single dad in town. But, I did message this one guy.
OMG - step away from those d@mn OLD dating apps will ya???? It's like crack - you just can't stop. LOL. Yes, great job finding out the guy's true motives and giving him a dose of reality, but I swear, like 80% of the people on there are misfits. They just are - we've talked about this. I'm so curious why you keep going back to this cheese-less tunnel? I've done soooooo much better both with dating and with my mental health since I stopped the whole OLD thing. It was only upsetting me - not getting me any closer to anything. You keep getting sucked back in. It's almost like gambling... the next one is going to be a winner, I can just feel it!
Last edited by job; 09/05/1812:04 AM. Reason: edited a word
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
I am a masochist, what can I say? I really did get bored and I flipped though. I did start talking to one guy. We have been texting and having a drink Friday night. So far, so normal. Guilty until proven innocent of course. He just seems like a regular guy. Has a job, a home in the town over, a 4 year old son he is very involved with. Loves the outdoors. Pictures are good. Who knows. I am counting on this one being a bust too.
Busy weekend anyways. before the date I have my daughter's pep rally, Saturday morning I am volunteering at a health fair. I left it up to ex to take care of D10's cheerleading pictures that are happening at that time. That night she has a game too, but it is also her bff's parents joint 50th which I am invited to. Sunday will be for exercising and relaxing.
Cheer season, school starting tomorrow, moving, wedding in Maine, D10's birthday......(she's going to be 11 next week!) is making for a very busy next two months.
I won't lie. I am so overwhelmed my mind keeps shutting down and I am pretty much exhausted all the time. I know it will get better soon though.
Just have fun with it and if something happens it happens. If you want to have sex then have sex......just follow your own advice that you have given to me . Have no expectations and take it for what it is, live in the moment. If something materializes then it materializes if it doesn't then move on to the next. I think you can OLD you just can't take it seriously.
I am going to have fun with it. NO sexy time though. I got my fill otherwise, I think I can keep it in my pants. Ideally, (and this is not an expectation) a nice date, and a nice good night kiss, then a call the next day making plans for our other date.
Or I just enjoy some good beer. He is a beer snob like me!
I absolutely love reading all the comments folks get on their posts to see how people think/react differently to things. It really gives me some good insight. I have noticed something that both you and J9 have said several times that stands out to me. I think it stands out because I feel exactly the opposite. I'm not saying I'm right in my way of thinking, of course....just that it is how I think. I noticed y'all have both said "guilty until proven innocent". I try to look at it the other way. And, you know, honestly as I think about it, that may be my problem. Maybe a dose of skepticism (for lack of a better word) is what is needed to make it in the OLD world. I think I have always been a tad too trusting. I'm too quick to believe the good in people and that is why I constantly have to remind myself to pay attention to people's actions rather than their words. It is REALLY easy to say anything but actions tend to prove out over time where words are just lip service, much of the time.
I wish you luck with your upcoming date and hope it is a pleasant experience for you. You are a fantastic person and I hope that he sees that and you both have a sparked interest. Just go with the flow and have fun.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
I absolutely love reading all the comments folks get on their posts to see how people think/react differently to things. It really gives me some good insight. I have noticed something that both you and J9 have said several times that stands out to me. I think it stands out because I feel exactly the opposite. I'm not saying I'm right in my way of thinking, of course....just that it is how I think. I noticed y'all have both said "guilty until proven innocent". I try to look at it the other way. And, you know, honestly as I think about it, that may be my problem. Maybe a dose of skepticism (for lack of a better word) is what is needed to make it in the OLD world. I think I have always been a tad too trusting. I'm too quick to believe the good in people and that is why I constantly have to remind myself to pay attention to people's actions rather than their words. It is REALLY easy to say anything but actions tend to prove out over time where words are just lip service, much of the time.
I wish you luck with your upcoming date and hope it is a pleasant experience for you. You are a fantastic person and I hope that he sees that and you both have a sparked interest. Just go with the flow and have fun.
I am afraid I taught J9 that saying. TBH, I was always the most trusting person. I got burned every single time. But I really only apply that to online dating, where I don't know the person from a hole in the wall. Honestly though, I feel as if men need to start proving themselves to me a little before I trust them. Because my open trust has yielded quite awful results for me.
Thank you Dawn, it will be nice is this is actually a nice normal date. But if not, I went out on a Friday night I don't have my daughter and had a drink with a guy. No harm in that.
I think that last date just creeped me out because he was so forward. And the other part that creeped me out was that he knew EVERYONE in the restaurant he took me to. I felt like I was on display as his woman to these people. It was weird to say the least.
