Remember to stay busy at the house too. If you stay busy doing your own things then you will be less likely to "I do slip up and inquire about things from time to time (not R or MR, just life) but have cut that way back as well.".
The posters I see struggle the most are the ones that sit and stew in their own juices, over-analyze ever interaction, and just over think about their sitch and their WAS.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I was out in the garage working on stuff late last night. I've done this a few times. I have some fun projects at the house and JS, you should too. When you're mind is working to create a solution you will be happier and help you make new priorities. It will help you detach.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
Good weekend with the kids. Both together and individually we kept fairly busy and had some fun. W made dinner last night and we ate together. She feels like she is withdrawing more and more, then at times she reaches out to chat. Mostly about the kids, but not just a generic conversation, more of an indepth talk about them. Just weird communicating with her. She did complain about each child over the weekend. I listened, validated and then went on.
Question of the day:
Our anniversary is about a week away. What do I do?
I know no gifts or outrageous stuff. Kind of feels weird to not do anything and it seems kind of strange to do something as well. I just don't know what the proper response is for this. We are still married.
Responses are greatly appreciated. And this is not a reason to pursue or give her pressure. THIS is what I'm trying to avoid without messing up along the way.
M51 W44 T21 M18 D14 S11 BD date 9/17 W filed 02/18 W withdrew petition following week In house separation 03/18 In Limbo and DB'ing since 03/18 W is moving out by mid Nov 2018 A drawing up paperwork 11/18
I would almost guarantee nothing. Just like Father's Day.
M51 W44 T21 M18 D14 S11 BD date 9/17 W filed 02/18 W withdrew petition following week In house separation 03/18 In Limbo and DB'ing since 03/18 W is moving out by mid Nov 2018 A drawing up paperwork 11/18
So just acknowledge it with a "Happy Annivesary" and move on. The problem is that anything else above that will be pressure and pursuit. So don't do it.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
M51 W44 T21 M18 D14 S11 BD date 9/17 W filed 02/18 W withdrew petition following week In house separation 03/18 In Limbo and DB'ing since 03/18 W is moving out by mid Nov 2018 A drawing up paperwork 11/18
Steve, I was reading in someone else's sitch you had replied they needed to read the "sticky validation" thread so when their spouse brings up the MR, they are ready to listen better. I searched and couldn't find it anywhere. Could you direct me to where it is or post a link if possible?
I know the convo is coming soon from her so I just want to be ready.
Thanks..
M51 W44 T21 M18 D14 S11 BD date 9/17 W filed 02/18 W withdrew petition following week In house separation 03/18 In Limbo and DB'ing since 03/18 W is moving out by mid Nov 2018 A drawing up paperwork 11/18
Thanks Steve. I thought since you had said sticky validation there was another one talking about more serious topics or something. I will re-read this one again and put it to use.
M51 W44 T21 M18 D14 S11 BD date 9/17 W filed 02/18 W withdrew petition following week In house separation 03/18 In Limbo and DB'ing since 03/18 W is moving out by mid Nov 2018 A drawing up paperwork 11/18
