So, today I made a del with my landlord which seems to be very much in my favor. His deal might fall through, so it is contingent on his deal going through. Want to hear the irony of it all? He was selling this house because of my a hole neighbors. The new owners want to occupy my side and decided to keep the neighbors! Funny how things work, huh?
I think things happen for a reason though. My agent went over to the new house with me to take some measurements and estimate the time and costs of the work that needs to be done. He's been very helpful to me throughout this process. I think the house is going to look amazing. I have big long term plans for it that is really going to increase the value. I am really excited about all of this.
On another note. I signed on to POF to help a friend out with some investigative work. I looked at my messages and I saw a guy who messaged me who looked awfully familiar. When I put two and two together I figured out that I did know him. Someone I grew up with was married to him. He is separated from her now. I used to see him like 5-6years ago because his daughter was in my daughter's dance class. I actually thought he was cute, but I knew he was dating the person I knew. They went on to get married and have a baby and their son is 2. I did find out from my friend that she was actually the affair partner in his first marriage. I bet he did it again. I looked at her FB profile and I noticed he was nowhere to be found on it anymore.
Then I looked this morning again and I got the funniest message from this guy, so I responded. He actually told me he had messaged me a few times over the year and I never responded so he decided to mix it up. We ended up talking on the phone and have a date tonight. So Don was right, my no dating didn't last too long. We seem to click and he's taking me out to a really nice place. So, why not, I had no plans except with my PJ's and a bottle of wine. My red flag is he seems to think I am really attractive and really nice and I am afraid he is getting himself too excited. He's ok looking, not hot, but not ugly. I am more for personality than looks, so we will see.
But really, I am so excited and nervous about this house. I told my exH today and he congratulated me. I think he might be a tad jealous. I still don't know why they are living in their dump of an apartment, but I guess it works for them. I just want to give my daughter a nice home.
I'll let you all know how it goes tonight. No expectations, but the menu seems delicious!
Just remember that Uncle AP is riding on your shoulder
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
OH mY! NOooooo I did not go out with the serial cheater! Let me clarify that! It was a different guy who had messaged me yesterday who said he had tried to get my attention a few times in the past. I'm crazy, but not that crazy!
Now, last night's date is another story. I got myself in a pickle here.
I had what happened to J9 happen to me! I noticed all this pictures were from an angle where he held the camera over his head facing down. That can make the biggest person look skinny. But I couldn't tell anything form the pics. Aside from that, I wasn't really attracted from the pics, but he seemed like a really nice guy and I figured "why not"
He was about 50lbs heavier than his pictures indicated. ANd aside form that, I just wasn't attracted. He described himself to me as having "dad bod" which I am a fan of. But no. That is not dad bod. I do give him tons of credit, because he is actively losing weight is down 40lbs, but the chemistry wasn't there for me. BUT.... it was for him. ANd is for him. And he did kiss me and was caressing my arms and back all night long and it was awkward for me. I didn't give him the body language I was interested, but I am a nice person, I engaged and was talkative, ect. But yeah, he likes me too much. He sent me a text this morning at 7am "I wanted to be the first person who said good morning and I wanted to tell you how beautiful you are". Yeah, he would probably be the doting boyfriend, but I am just not feeling it. He kind of likes to use his money to impress too.
So, now I have to find out how to let him down easily. I know I don't owe anyone anything, but he has had bad luck in the dating world and I feel bad.
I have since deleted the app. I really can't be dealing with this right now. I have a house to buy, I have to move, I have a lot going on. I can't maintain any sort of R, nor be letting anyone down right now.
But interestingly enough..... I haven't seen a single post from the serial cheater's wife. Then yesterday she posted him playing baseball with their son and he was tagged in it. I was sure to like it so he could see it and know I know her. The message he sent me was from 8/8 and he never replied when I said his full name and that I know him.
Well [censored] G that [censored].....gonad I am not the only one . I also don’t like the 7 am text, IMO it sounds creepy and kind of controlling. Telling him there was no physical attraction seems to work well these days
I just dont understand how he would be so physical with someone that he is meeting for the first time. Its not like you were on tinder or a site that is more geared to a one night stand...and even then its not really acceptable.
What type if date did you guys go on? Maybe next tine a casual coffe date or a walk through a public park as opposed to a cocktail or lounge/bar that invites that behavior more easily?
From someone that also has trouble with boundaries and giving too many chances for a nice guy that will dote on me.... just rip that band aide off quickly. Respond to him very quickly "Thank you for the date. I had a nice time. But i dont really feel the connection. I do wish you the best of luck"
I would have been like you...uncomfortable with the physical touch but trying to be nice and just hinting through body language.
I think i need to work on speaking out more in life. Like what would have happened if you said " why are you massaging me? Your a little fast" And then smiled or laughed. So point was verbally made but in a polite way.
But i struggle too. It takes me a while to go over in my mind if someone elses behavior is out of line or appropriate or just a joke. Its like im not good at standing up for myself in the moment. I dont know how to be different and i worry more about the other person then myself in that moment. And people,not just guys but bosses, and patients, and other parents and teachers can play on that and really exploit. So i really relate to you ginger.
Anyone else, or anyone know books or have suggestions on women and boundaries?
Same right here! I really struggle with boundaries and how to speak up for myself, especially in the moment.
I have a true fear of hurting people. Making them feel bad. I just can't do it. But I think I probably end up hurting them more when I have a hard time speaking the truth.
Once in a blue moon, it's a mutual no connection. But more than not, it is not mutual. I hate that part.
Honestly, I think any success is going to come IRL. Not in online dating. I did have the one IRL date when I went out with the guy I met at the bar. I felt no connection, I wasn't sure where he stood, in my mind, I thought I would give it one more date, but he was upfront about there being no connection, so he took the burden off.
Oh well. today I am going to the farmer's market with my friends, then I will begin to purge and pack. I am praying this all goes through smoothly.
