Just journaling my 9 year old has been having problems leaving mom when I go to pick up the girls for the week. She misses her mom very much and cries when I go get them. Today I saw my x break down for the first time in a long time, I assume she is carrying around guilt and I saw it for the first time. I validated her and then reminded her to not let the girls see her emotional. Currently we are a week on and a week off but we are considering like a 2-3-2 type of arrangement if this persists. Surprisingly it has not effected me the same way so I guess I have been the rock. I hate it for my D. I took them to get yogurt, swimming, and let her know how much we loved her. It just really stinks.
I am very sorry for your children's pain. I know it s$cks big time.
The week on/off scheduled is not advised for younger kids. It really is too long for a child to go without Mommy/Daddy. I would strongly advise you switch to the 2-3-2 arrangement.
My D will be 11, and I have her majority of the time and the way the schedule falls sometimes, she goes for a week without seeing her dad. And around day 5 it's a lot of "I miss Daddy, I never get to see him". SO we try to minimize the gaps as much as we can.
We do 2-2-5-5, and it's a nice mix of short and long time together with both parents, with both parents getting 2 weekends/month. Tweens probably benefit from not going so long between homes. Mine are actually getting to the age where they probably need to move to 7-7 (for school and social life), but it will be hard on Dad, for sure.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
Thanks guys.....her worst moments are when she says good bye and we drive off. Today she woke up fine with no mention of mommy. It is heartbreaking to see but for whatever reason it didnt impact me emotionally. The Xw and I leave 4 miles from each other so changing it up would be very easy. We have been doing this routine for over a year now so I wonder why this has all of a sudden started. I need to think more on it.
My youngest had 2 soccer games on Saturday so in between the games we all went out to breakfast together as a family. I was good with it but there was a moment I had when I thought about how nice it was to eating together. That was probably the first time that had happened in several months.
Well not much to report over the last few days. I have a couple of girls that I just started chatting with so I will ask them to meet up next week for some coffee. I can tell they are interested but I am also getting the vibe that they would like to get to know me a little first. I don't like going back and forth in long texting convo's so I need to find the right time but I also need to vet them out a little bit more myself so I can try to stop my string of dates that don't go anywhere
One of the ladies has her oldest going into high school this year but she is only 41. Not sure how young her second kid is but with mine being 9 and 7 she may not want to go back into having young kids again. I guess we shall see how it plays out as I am finding out there are more variables to considered the older we get. The second lady has 11 yr old twins which is more in the age range of mine.
The week has been going well, hit the gym a few times, my youngest has soccer practice tonight and my oldest has practice on Saturday. I am taking them to a Hotel downtown Dallas on Saturday during the day as they have a really cool outdoor water park so we are going to spend the night....kind of a last hooray before schools starts next Wednesday. We are actually meeting some other parents there as well and they have a swim up adult bar so it should be fun!
The X came and got the girls last night and took them out to dinner and shopping for some schools clothes. I am glad she is putting the child support money to good use I was also happy she did it so my oldest got a chance to spend some time with her mom.
I guess that is about it...hopefully something will pan out with 1 of these 2 ladies.
Alright....well 1 of the 2 girls I have been talking to has come through and she is looking forward to us getting together next week when she returns from vacation. I got her name and gave her my digits and she seems very interested so we shall see. If her pictures line-up with her bio and how she looks in person it could work. She is fit (one of my requirements), pictures indicate that, is blonde (my weakness), attends church (another requirement) and has two boys 1 that is going into high school, and the other which is probably 7th grade. She is 41 and lives about 20 min away so not too bad. I would say this is probably my best prospect so far and will be my 6th date and the 5th girl in about 2.5 months.
The second girl responded to my initial email and then never responded to my follow up. I just don't understand why you would even initially respond if you had no interest in continuing the dialogue. Makes no sense.
Fit, blond and attends church. You do have some tough requirements, but hey, you are a man who knows what he wants. I hope she shows up looking just like her pictures indicate. 6th date in 2.5 months is pretty good, actually.
hear me out, J. She didn't respond because she is trying to keep up with the other 50 messages and it probably got buried. I do the same thing. Unless I am like really interested. Or, she was emailing with a whole bunch and she found the one she wanted to continue with. I now it seems rude and disrescpectful, but for women, unless they make this an actual part-time job, they can't get to them all.
LOL G.....well those are initial basic requirements and then there is the obvious connection piece and a few other items on my list. I am on Match and on Match you can tell when they read their messages. So I initially thought she was going to flake because she read my message yesterday and never responded until 6:30 this morning which is the time we initially chatted on Thursday. I go to the gym in the mornings so she probably assumed I would be available and she is on vacation as well so maybe she didn't have time but I don't buy that because everyone has some time during the day to respond to something.
So G I think you are right......she probably got flooded with messages, was weeding them out and since she got back with me I assume I made the cut The question is though how many other dudes made the cut as well
