I find myself saying this a lot but one of the things I find fascinating about this forum is hearing about other peoples' experiences with something I, too, have tried. It is kind of nice to see OLD from a man's perspective. For me, OLD has been pretty much a bust. Most of the men who message me are obvious catfish....they'll come on strong and their grammar indicates that English is not their primary language. Their profiles always say they are from Little Rock or Dallas or Atlanta, but I live pretty near Little Rock and am somewhat familiar with it so I will ask them questions that they never can seem to answer and then I'll get some oddly stammered explanation about how they are overseas for work, but will be back soon. Yeah....right........ For me, for the most part, the ones who have been real people have either been guys who are disabled, extremely uneducated or guys who are WAY younger than me. Now, I have nothing against people with disabilities, but as I think I've mentioned before, I went down that road with my XH and it is not a road I want to go down again. It is a VERY hard row to hoe. The uneducated ones, well, those are the hardest ones for me because I value education above most other things so it is difficult for me to have a good conversation with someone who only wants to talk about sports and hunting. The young ones are a no brainer....nope, I have raised my lovely daughters to adulthood, so thanks, but no thanks............don't need to take any more kids to raise.
Having said all that, it would appear, though, at least for the current time, OLD HAS worked for me. I am fairly certain I have mentioned this before, but Sparky and I actually met on an OLD site. Now granted, we messaged on the site for quite a bit before I ever even exchanged phone numbers with him....at least a month. Then, just a week or so after exchanging phone numbers, his dad passed away rather suddenly, so we talked for several months before we actually met in person, not because neither of us wanted to but because of circumstances beyond our control. During that time, though, we did continue to talk on a pretty regular basis.
I say all of that, not to hijack your post to talk about me, but to say that OLD is just plain weird and I think it probably works for some and not so much for others. If you are enjoying the results you are seeing, stick with it. If not, boot it and move on to something else. Life is too short to spend too much time worrying about things that MIGHT happen or whatever.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Thanks V....I will just keep moving. I do have a date tonight, just meeting for a drink and then we will go from there. The other one that I thought was going to be for tomorrow she never got with me. She told me she would contact me yesterday after she checked with her family that is in town but I go ghosted instead. Oh well......I am used to it now
A little tangent J - I am not on OLD yet, but this ghosting business as an acceptable way of interacting and communication is just bananas. I am just amazed that this is what it has come down to - like you can't even send a message saying 'no, thanks'. or whatever you want to close the loop. Basic communication skills have just gone out of the window now. All of this makes me just want to try my luck IRL instead of OLD when I get to it.
M....it is crazy but what I have learned is that both men and women have multiple conversations going on at once. It seems that everyone has a back up plan. I decided that I will give it 6 months so I got 4months left. If I don’t find anyone that I enjoy spending time with by then I will take a break.
Ok......another date last night that was enjoyable for the company but she is not my type. I took my profile offline as this should be fun but I am finding that it is frustrating. This lasy told me that most of her pictures were 5 yrs old. That kind of rubbed me the wrong way.
1. FaceTime in advance 2. Just say right off the bat: you were not honest in your profile and honest if very important to me
If it makes you feel better I have a friend who has been online dating for 8 year and he says it happens all the time. He use to feel bad and see it through but now he just leaves.
I'm sorry J. I have pictures up from 5 years ago and current ones. I guess I am lucky I still look the same. Really that much of a drastic difference in 5 years?
I think a break will do you well. OLD makes it tricky where you can't really fall for the personality so that the person looks beautiful because you like them so much. The physical appearance comes first. I tried with a guy I wasn't attracted to at all because he was nice. But in the end, not attracted at all.
So, I would definitely go with the suggestion of joining some meet up groups so you can meet people in person first. C-nut did pretty well with that. Become friends first, enjoy their personality. Let something grow.
Thanks guys....I am definitely going to cool it for a while and see if I can meet someone organically. I did have another girl that I was chatting with I think get a little upset with me which is why I hate texting. She asked me how long I had been divorced for and I told her we had been separated for a year and finally got the D done is April. Then she came back with how short of a time period it has been and that she had been D for 7years....like it was a badge of honor. So I asked her if she was concerned? She said it was more of a comment and then proceeded to say that it takes most people years to get over a D. I came back and told her not necessarily if you put in the work and then she ghosted me. I guess she didn’t like that comment but whatever it’s true. Smh.
I was thinking about you. I know you are an active guy who likes sports and exercise. You need to use this to your advantage in the dating world.
You need to get into some group exercise/crossfit kind of thing where you have the same group pretty consistently. I met a guy like that. I know someone who met her husband like that. Bonus: your petite fit girl chance is higher. ANd even if she isn't a tiny 115lb woman, atleast she is fit and can keep up and be active.
You play BBall? Coed league! I joined a coed VB league and first night became friends with 3 guys. I had a small crush on one, but he was way too young for me. It was sort of a bar league so after we would get a drink right there and a bite to eat. If I didn't rupture my ACL on the second night, who knows who I might have met? And remember, you can meet people who can introduce you to people.
Point being, put your GAL in your environment with your likes. The regular gym rarely works, but branch out. I am trying a new local crossfit place this week. Maybe I'll get lucky. Or thin. One of the two. But I will get my socialization and my workout and I am open to whatever might come my way.
