Sorry guys I've been away! Things are as they used to be. The house is going for sale again. It was off because we(I) had to do massive work outside after winter. W hasn't finalized the D. She was going to. I told her that when the court order arrives we'll need to split our assets at that point(which are only debt). Well she naturally got furious because I was threathning her and she can't afford to pay half of the mortgage. And then she started the other game...how she had to move under a bridge, lose her business, how her parents would have to pay for her debts, what would it do to kids. The usual. And yes the same OM is still in the picture. I've kept NC going. Only replying if kids are involved. So kinda stuck in Limboland...trying to get out.
Good to be back!
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
A little update. I got papers from court. W finalized the divorce. She did inform me about it two weeks ago, at 3 am, drunk and with half hour spew following it. The usual you never this, you always that, I did everything for us, oh how I loved you then...
Question for all. W still keeps sending me pics/texts about what she is doing with the kids. Is she still temp checking? After all this?
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
Petri, I was wondering what happened to you! I had been following your thread. For a while your wife wanted to reconcile. I guess she didn't pull through. It's too bad to hear about the divorce papers but if she's still sending you pictures and taking the time to blame you for everything you did wrong then it sounds like there's still unfinished business. I hope you and your wife can reconcile somehow, even if you stay divorced, for the sake of your kids. How are you coping with all this? Is the divorce a relief or do you still wish to fix things with your wife?
W still keeps sending me pics/texts about what she is doing with the kids. Is she still temp checking? After all this?
Who knows. If you don't know why she is doing it likely none of us will either. Did you at one point accuse her of being a bad mom? Maybe she is trying to prove to you (and herself) that she isn't. Or maybe it is temp checking, to see how you respond. Or maybe she is sadist and just enjoys inflicting pain on you.
Trying to understand the WAS is a fool's game. Just don't respond to them unless there is a direct question, and then only with as few words as possible. Answer yes or no questions with yes or no.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Neffer. I'm doing quite fine. We still have our house to sell and assets to divide(this W doesn't want to do). She even asked if I could take the house and we would see in a couple of years where we stand. But no way I will go with that.
Nicole. Yeah...the reconcile possibility part lasted for less than a week. She went back to the OM. She had everything figured out in less than a week. Even before she took one therapy session. And yes she probably does have a lot of unfinished business. She's drinking again every weekend. Even when she's with the kids. I am doing my best to cope. At the moment I would be ready to reconcile. But that would depend on how she would present herself with that.
Steve. I guess everyone's guess is as good as mine. Who knows and actually who cares. She even wanted me to go to her sister's son's confirmation party a month ago...
Me:39 W:36 S:12 D:9 T:14 M:11 Separation:sep. 1 2017 D filed oct. 2017 D finalized july 2018 OM confirmed feb 2018 D finalized July 2018
The fact is this. You have to be in pain before you can learn.
