Be there for your son and you have to let her be. Very early on my oldest D was crying in the car because she missed mommy. I thought I needed to let her know since it is her D as well. When I told my EW it went in one ear, out the other, and she acted like it was no big deal.....she just stared at me with this blank look on her face. Saying anything will do no good.......unless your S is really struggling you just need to handle it.
I think they know it's wrong but they are making the choice to do what they are doing and I do believe they are fully aware of their actions. They probably care, they just don't care enough to stop or do anything different because I think it is at the core who they are as people.
Looking back my EW has always been selfish..........she is just now selfish on steroids.
HI Joseph,
I do plan on just letting her be. At the early point of this situation, it was the same for me when I would bring up anything in regards to our son's state due to this, she would just brush it off like it wasn't a big deal.
The difference between our W's is that mine wasn't really selfish before her personalty change. Now she is the epitome of selfish.
W 31(WW) Me 32 Married 7 years together 12 1 kid - 1.5 yr old S BD 23/05/2018 Separated since BD I moved out 20/06/2018 for my own sanity OM or just fling? Not sure...
Be there for your son and you have to let her be. Very early on my oldest D was crying in the car because she missed mommy. I thought I needed to let her know since it is her D as well. When I told my EW it went in one ear, out the other, and she acted like it was no big deal.....she just stared at me with this blank look on her face. Saying anything will do no good.......unless your S is really struggling you just need to handle it.
I think they know it's wrong but they are making the choice to do what they are doing and I do believe they are fully aware of their actions. They probably care, they just don't care enough to stop or do anything different because I think it is at the core who they are as people.
Looking back my EW has always been selfish..........she is just now selfish on steroids.
HI Joseph,
I do plan on just letting her be. At the early point of this situation, it was the same for me when I would bring up anything in regards to our son's state due to this, she would just brush it off like it wasn't a big deal.
The difference between our W's is that mine wasn't really selfish before her personalty change. Now she is the epitome of selfish.
Yep, this my W too in her wayward state. Never had a seflish bone in her body, until waywardness hit. Then boom she became overly selfish to a point where she didn't care about anything or anyone but herself.
My W eventually went back to the way she used to be. But for several weeks it was as if she had been possessed by someone or something else.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
She may say that but inside she knows it's hurting them and she more than likely does feel terrible about it. But yes she will say things like that to try and make it seem like everything is OK.
My W didn't care when shouting abuse at me in front of kids, she didn't care when she told them we are not a family, she didn't care about taking them out of their home where they have lived since they were born etc. If she cared about them then she would be willing to talk about our relationship and get counselling etc. to see if we could provide them with what they deserve.
Be there for your son and you have to let her be. Very early on my oldest D was crying in the car because she missed mommy. I thought I needed to let her know since it is her D as well. When I told my EW it went in one ear, out the other, and she acted like it was no big deal.....she just stared at me with this blank look on her face. Saying anything will do no good.......unless your S is really struggling you just need to handle it.
I think they know it's wrong but they are making the choice to do what they are doing and I do believe they are fully aware of their actions. They probably care, they just don't care enough to stop or do anything different because I think it is at the core who they are as people.
Looking back my EW has always been selfish..........she is just now selfish on steroids.
HI Joseph,
I do plan on just letting her be. At the early point of this situation, it was the same for me when I would bring up anything in regards to our son's state due to this, she would just brush it off like it wasn't a big deal.
The difference between our W's is that mine wasn't really selfish before her personalty change. Now she is the epitome of selfish.
Yep, this my W too in her wayward state. Never had a seflish bone in her body, until waywardness hit. Then boom she became overly selfish to a point where she didn't care about anything or anyone but herself.
My W eventually went back to the way she used to be. But for several weeks it was as if she had been possessed by someone or something else.
You bring up an interesting point which I've been kind of wondering myself. My W definitely seemed possessed by someone else. Still does, however...
For over a week now, it seems my W has been doing things a little more like the "old her" which I'm not sure what to think about it. Stuff like kind of cleaning the house, actually wanting our son last week, apparently doing some gardening which she used to love. I'm not sure if it's just damage control to her image which she had all but destroyed in the previous month or if it's a sincere turn back to more of her old self? It's only been a little over a month and a half and I just can't trust that it's anything sincere at this point. Everything just seems to have an ulterior motive with her to this point.
I'm trying to not read into anything anymore with her.
W 31(WW) Me 32 Married 7 years together 12 1 kid - 1.5 yr old S BD 23/05/2018 Separated since BD I moved out 20/06/2018 for my own sanity OM or just fling? Not sure...
She may say that but inside she knows it's hurting them and she more than likely does feel terrible about it. But yes she will say things like that to try and make it seem like everything is OK.
My W didn't care when shouting abuse at me in front of kids, she didn't care when she told them we are not a family, she didn't care about taking them out of their home where they have lived since they were born etc. If she cared about them then she would be willing to talk about our relationship and get counselling etc. to see if we could provide them with what they deserve.
yep, actions speak way louder than words. The fog of waywardness causes them to trample any and everyone.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
She may say that but inside she knows it's hurting them and she more than likely does feel terrible about it. But yes she will say things like that to try and make it seem like everything is OK.
My W didn't care when shouting abuse at me in front of kids, she didn't care when she told them we are not a family, she didn't care about taking them out of their home where they have lived since they were born etc. If she cared about them then she would be willing to talk about our relationship and get counselling etc. to see if we could provide them with what they deserve.
My W never really did any of those things. Our son is really small so she really couldn't tell him things like that. We are also sharing custody. But my W was like yours, completely unwilling to attempt counselling although she has stated to me she is seeing a councilor herself...not sure if I can believe it or not.
W 31(WW) Me 32 Married 7 years together 12 1 kid - 1.5 yr old S BD 23/05/2018 Separated since BD I moved out 20/06/2018 for my own sanity OM or just fling? Not sure...
Well, today is my birthday...not exactly the happiest of birthdays considering the circumstances unfortunately..
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First of all- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Second- very sorry it's not the best birthday this year. But forget your hateful, angry, thoughtless WAS, have a great bday in spite of her lack of attention! I had my birthday last month. My GF came over and we had lunch with my kids, then opened presents and had cake, then the kids had to go. My GF said she was going for a swim if I wanted to join her. I finished what I was doing and went out back and.... WOW. Here's this pretty young lady with her knockout figure and rainbow-colored hair swimming naked in my pool like a mermaid. 5 years ago I had the worst bday of my life and this year the best. Just try and remember your situation is temporary. You may recon or you may not but regardless, great things are heading your way.
Well, today is my birthday...not exactly the happiest of birthdays considering the circumstances unfortunately..
.
First of all- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Second- very sorry it's not the best birthday this year. But forget your hateful, angry, thoughtless WAS, have a great bday in spite of her lack of attention! I had my birthday last month. My GF came over and we had lunch with my kids, then opened presents and had cake, then the kids had to go. My GF said she was going for a swim if I wanted to join her. I finished what I was doing and went out back and.... WOW. Here's this pretty young lady with her knockout figure and rainbow-colored hair swimming naked in my pool like a mermaid. 5 years ago I had the worst bday of my life and this year the best. Just try and remember your situation is temporary. You may recon or you may not but regardless, great things are heading your way.
This post really brightened my day.
I do need to remember it's a temporary situation either way and it's nice to hear that things get better!
Thanks so much!
W 31(WW) Me 32 Married 7 years together 12 1 kid - 1.5 yr old S BD 23/05/2018 Separated since BD I moved out 20/06/2018 for my own sanity OM or just fling? Not sure...
Thanks Sandi! I'm going to try and make it as good as I can!
W 31(WW) Me 32 Married 7 years together 12 1 kid - 1.5 yr old S BD 23/05/2018 Separated since BD I moved out 20/06/2018 for my own sanity OM or just fling? Not sure...
