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LOL

OK, something similar happened early on in my sitch. Once I really started to detach, the night I told her that I would need complete transparency if she decided to comeback, and she said "okay I will start working on my resume."

I said ok, and went on with my night. Next day I was cool. Calm. Pleased. Upbeat. All the things that you should be while lovingly detaching.

That was the night she came to me in tears talking about wanting to want to stay together. And that D was wrong, and that she knew God wanted us to stay together.

Less than 24 hours AFTER I got really good at letting her go and detaching, you could see the results.

DBing really does work. But only when you do it a) for yourself not to manipulate (like you are doing) and b) consistently and well (like you are doing!).


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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Just reread that. To be clear, I mean you are doing the dark FOR you, not her and you are being consistent with it. That is why you are seeing her react, because you ARE DOING IT RIGHT!

You got this OK. You are going to be, well, ok!


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Right, i should have clarified that.
Im using her reactions simply as a guage that it is working, NC is for me to heal.
If i broke NC, she would just eat it up, and go back to being cold and cruel.
She is just using being nice and "Concerned" as a method to set me off center.

She wasnt getting results being a B***h, so she swapped to being nice.

She literally texted me as i was typing this.
"I know you never got back to me about the accident, obviously i know you are both safe now.
It was just a peace of mind thing, Just knowing he's home and safe, its so hard not always being with him, which i know you understand"


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
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OrangeK Offline OP
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For someone who "Fears for her safety" and needed to extend the TRO, she has gotten awfully chummy and chatty...........


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Jun 2013
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Originally Posted by OrangeK
For someone who "Fears for her safety" and needed to extend the TRO, she has gotten awfully chummy and chatty...........

Hahaha. I feel the same way in my sitch. W goes around telling everyone that I beat her and break into her house, but has no problem showing up unannounced at my house and calling and texting repetitively...

Also, Steve and Orange... I知 glad you guys think I知 good at dealing with my W痴 nonsense. I feel like struggle with it at times. To hear you guys say that you think I知 doing well means a lot. I値l just kee on doing I gotta what I知 doing then. Some days are easier than others, but I値l just keep on keeping on...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Dude, i wish i had half your patience.
I am lucky my WIFE is much more subtle and low key with her manipulations.

I can honestly say if our WW's were swapped, i probably would have lost my cool and done something stuipd in your sitch by now.

Silver linings.

I just have a quieter flavor of crazy.

Keep up the good work pahtnah! (Yea, im from New England, Its Wicked Pissah)


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Sitting at the airport waiting to board for my business trip, just angry a bit. Im supposed to have my partner to share adventures and accomplishments with. Just pissed that my best friend became my worst enemy. I miss my best friend.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Feb 2018
Posts: 9,822
Likes: 226
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Have a good trip, OK!


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Thanks. Landed safe in D.C.


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,669
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OrangeK Offline OP
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Wife just went off on me for not informing her i was traveling. I think knowing that my birthday is coming up tomorrow and see what's bothering me


M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4
All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18
-----------------------------------------------------
2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD
2 Major breakups.
2 Rebounds
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