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artista #2799852 07/06/18 01:58 PM
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Chris06 Offline OP
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She has moved in with a couple worker. Seems really happy about it. I of course am happy, because om is gone for now. Kids are in a more stable environment.
I don't know what to do now. Go dark? date? it's such a hard place to be. Let her go?

I'm afraid anything I do will speak the door shut on having my family back.
She wants her space. No she wants to be single and date just won't say it.
I'm trying to get her to go to Dr. To check her hormones. Her head is a mess. She agreed but we will see. Prolly just saying that she will.


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Chris06 #2799853 07/06/18 02:03 PM
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Stop thinking of controlling. Her health is her issue not yours. Her hormones are hers.

And OM are like rats for everyone you see there are 50 more hidden.

You are ideally placed for LRT.

I assume you have RTFM and know what that is?

And that does not mean dating.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Vanilla #2799855 07/06/18 02:19 PM
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I know I have to buckle down. Thanks vanilla. She did tell me she loved me in a txt last night.
Slipped and said it on phone today. But immediately said sorry. She definitely keeping me hanging on as a plan b.


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Chris06 #2799858 07/06/18 02:41 PM
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She says one thing yet does another.

Sandi has one of her rules based on this.

You aren't a special snowflake exempt from the guidance.

So yes plan B. The think to say to yourself is it is b.s..


V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Chris06 #2799909 07/07/18 08:29 AM
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Originally Posted By: Chris06
I know I have to buckle down. Thanks vanilla. She did tell me she loved me in a txt last night.
Slipped and said it on phone today. But immediately said sorry. She definitely keeping me hanging on as a plan b.

Ya wow. I love you... I just don't act like it.


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
ovrrnbw #2799919 07/07/18 11:32 AM
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I read in a thread someone said that if in the marriage I was the one emotionally not there that LRT, and going dark would not help me.
This morning she text why can't I be a friend and be there for her.

All this confuses me because if I'm doing 180, then in my mind I should be trying to connect with her and be there.


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Chris06 #2799920 07/07/18 12:57 PM
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You can be a friend, but not just a friend, bc you are her husband.

Wait til someone more experienced chimes in.


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
ovrrnbw #2800029 07/08/18 10:04 AM
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Just trying to GAL. Been working out some. Trying to not loose anymore weight. Down to 165 from 190 so really that was kinda cool. Needed that gone. I meal replacements most of the time.

Been working on validating. Get positive vibes from her when I do. It just all feels like I'm doing it for nothing. But if I can learn it well it will help in other aspects of my life as well.

I have decided to take the kids to Florida for a weekend at the end of the month
Be good for us, especially cause S6 starts school soon. S2 haven't been yet.

I know she's enjoying her life now, always getting to go places with friends, and hang out all the time without the wife aspect. She has to much help, don't think she will ever hit bottom enough to want me back. I just wish that their was a magic bullet.


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Chris06 #2800058 07/08/18 01:39 PM
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Originally Posted By: Chris06


I know she's enjoying her life now, always getting to go places with friends, and hang out all the time without the wife aspect. She has to much help, don't think she will ever hit bottom enough to want me back. I just wish that their was a magic bullet.

Yeah, when you find those magic bullets, I'll send you my address. I could use one too. Sad thing is, they don't exist...

As far as rock bottom is concerned, you never know. It may happen, and you'll have a chance to work things out. But you also have to realize, like you said, it may never happen. She may be like this for the rest of her life. That's when you have to ask yourself, "Is that someone I even want to be with?". So you need to focus on yourself. Be the best you can be for yourself and your kids. In the end, that's all that matters. You can't control her, and if she wants to be the queen of the trailer court picking up pit bull $hit, let her. You've got more important things to do...


Me: 38
W:31
Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4
M: 10 years
T:12 years
BD:Jan 3, 2018
W moved out: Apr 13,2018
Filed for D: Jun 2018
D final: Sep 2019

"Surrender to the Flow"...
mtb1981 #2800064 07/08/18 02:28 PM
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I know it's hard we all want some form of justice.

Her rock bottom isnt your concern, thats her journey. She might get there in 3 months, two years or never. You cant control that.

BUT, what you can control is your growth. And if she hits bottom you want to be the best you, you can be if that moment arrives. Because dealing with a person that's coming back up takes a lot of strength.

Work you hardest to become a person on a fool would leave. Make her out to be a fool.


M:37 W:37
T:11 M:10
S17, S13, S10, S4
BD:06/28/17
OM confirmed 07/20/17
Recon the M 10/29/17
Working hard:2gether

Onward and forward

This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
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