Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.
Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.
Cadet, you recently posted in this in someone's thread today. This is exactly the very thing I was referring to when I suggested that you break your welcome post into two separate posts. First one is your usual welcome mat and then the second one is that one above ^^^.
Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.
Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.
Cadet, you recently posted in this in someone's thread today. This is exactly the very thing I was referring to when I suggested that you break your welcome post into two separate posts. First one is your usual welcome mat and then the second one is that one above ^^^.
Make sense?
Yes I have done it a bunch and you are more than welcome to make the post as it is a quote from YOU.
Look...Cadet, it was one of the suggestions. There are some posters who are in agreement with including that section in the welcome post. The issue was that we all were afraid that if that were included in the original welcome post, it'd be too long for newbies. Hence the suggestion to simply break it into two posts. And frankly, I really don't care for the credit. Just git 'er done.
Wonka, Are you okay? Your last posting was a bit of on the "bossy side" and that's not like you. What's eating at you today? When I see a poster is a bit on the miffed side, it concerns me...so what's going on?
Cadet is not employed by Michelle and he is doing the postings out of the goodness of his heart to help others. I, for one, would never tell him or anyone else on this Board to "git 'er done". That was uncalled for. We should be thankful that he took the initiative to do this for the posters and treat him w/kindness and appreciation, not directing him to do something. Just remember...he's a member just like us, not a paid employee of Michelle's.
Maybe you are teasing w/Cadet, but it sure didn't come across that way when I read it.
I was weary at the time and had several things spinning on my plates IRL. My goal was try to get Cadet to understand that I really truly couldn't care less if my name was associated with that portion or not.
I was trying to be Larry The Cable Guy funny with that comment...seems not to quite come out as I had hoped. As you know, the last thing I am is to be 'bossy'...absolutely not my intention at all.
I know I'm a newbie on DB so I apologize up front for being a bit fastidious but here goes:
Quote:
Your H or W is giving you a GIFT. THE GIFT OF TIME. USE it wisely.
Every time I see Cadet's welcome post I find the use of the term "gift" offensive. It's fine, I suppose for the Mid-life crisis forum, but in the infidelity forum and newcomers forum where many are faced with just learning the debilitation information that their spouse cheated on them it seems a bit cruel, minimizing and off-puting (which is the last thing you want to be on a "welcome" post).
My wife's infidelity a decade ago was not a "gift" in any way, shape or manner. Neither she nor I would ever refer to it as such even now, completely recovered. It was HORRIBLE for both of us. I also didn't appreciate the "time" I had putting myself back together while taking care of everything in our world while my wife pursued her fantasy relationship. It's "time" that could have been better spent fixing our marriage versus destroying it.
Since length seems to be a problem (and I do think it's overwhelming and could do with a few less links to boring and/or more advanced threads that they can come to learn in time. For example, a newly betrayed spouse desperate for NEW information doesn't need to read a convoluted thread like the "validation thread" when they just need to initially be told to keep calm) ~~~perhaps one of the following alternatives for the "GIFT OF TIME" language would work:
Quote:
Again, welcome to Divorce Busting
Originally Posted By: MWD tweet Feb 20
As Michelle Weiner Davis says: "It takes strength, courage, integrity and determination to fight for your marriage. It's the hardest thing you will ever do in your life! "
The internet is 90% complaining and entitlement and I hate it because I deserve better!
Yes, indeed, I think a purge is coming especially if a new format is going to be implemented.
Folks if you want to keep your threads/postings, I suggest that you begin to copy them to a thumb drive. When a purge comes, we do not know which threads will or will not disappear.
Don't wait until it's officially announced...start saving those items of interest to you now.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
