She confirmed to me there was an EA with one of my coworkers before she left. A couple years before, I found out she had been flirting with her exbf. Less than a week after moving out, she hooked up with a coworker from my pt job. A week after that, I found a used condom at her apartment on top of the trash can (she asked me to stay and watch S while she worked).
Currently, she has multiple A with multiple OM/OW. She is not in one steady A, but she confirmed more than 3, and likely quite a few more that she eluded to, but not confirmed.
W just contacted me via her sister to try to schedule times for me to see S this coming weekend, and W is demanding that I keep him an extra day to fit her schedule. I told her sister that I would be glad to, but we had agreed to stick to Fri 6pm - Sun 6pm, and I also agreed to meet up at a pd with monitored spaces. Of course, W doesn't want to do that, and now I'm being attacked for wanting to stick to a consistent schedule.
This discussion is still ongoing. I said I would keep S the extra day this weekend (despite my knowledge that she'll most likely go party Sunday night), but I expected her to be more consistent going forward.
She basically then said I can either do what she says, or I won't see S this weekend.
I restated that I would do it this weekend.
That wasn't good enough. Now she wants that schedule to be ongoing, and accused me of being inconsistent...even though I have only asked her once to change the schedule for Father's Day, and she declined.
I conceded that I would do it this weekend, and consider the future scheduling.
I feel like she's still going to object unless she gets her way completely.
I want to spend more time with S, but every time I have done that, she keeps demanding more and threatening to keep S away from me.
Do I stand my ground here, or do I give in? She has said "this isn't negotiable."
Your child is not a ping pong, his needs come first. And since at this time you are the more stable parent that's great. If she offers you extra on an ongoing basis say thank you and have terrific time.
Your child is for life.
Stand firm on having your child as much as you can. Dads can be the best parent, there are examples here of that.
Great dads.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I don't know much about your situation but I agree about conversing with family and Facebook. Remove them immediately. They should understand. This is turning legal, please don't things won't get ugly bc you are close with family. just be wise.
You're right, it's turning legal. Since I didn't give her the answer she wanted to hear before 3 PM (her arbitrary time constraint), she decided that I don't get to see S this weekend.
She was at work at the time she decided that. So I tried to find out where S is and who he's with (because she has let one of her OM babysit him before, and it was past S "normal" bedtime). She has refused to tell me that information.
So yeah. She's making a mess out of this legally.
She refuses to pass information about S through anyone except her sister.
Well, once I lock down A, she can pass information through him/her.
You play the game and call her bluff. You created your own difficulty with this. Can't you see that by saying yes to having your son you are winning more time, setting precedent for the court?
All you have shown is that you aren't interested. If you were you would be biting her hand off to have more time with your child.
There are mums and dads here who would give their right arm for more time with their child and establish more parental rights.
Children come first.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I DID answer. But I was going back and forth between her sister, and trying to work it out. W was slow to respond. So I DID answer, and I DID agree to it.
So you called her bluff and she didn't like it. I apologise for misunderstanding, in future I will ask clean questions before jumping in. Lesson learned by V.
I would find it helpful if you could complete your bio, the bit at the bottom. Go to mystuff drop dowm and edit, it will help more posters post to you. Not everyone is like V and reads all the threads.
So clean questions:
Is there any way to find out where S actually is? Have you Skype facilities?
And despite your ADHD you are documenting aren't you?
Have you spoken to an L about custody?
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
