Last night I got up to use the bathroom and W was in livingroom watching TV with a lit candle. Just found it odd, but whatever.
Today she comes in the bedroom and asks so nicely if i could give her a ride to pick up D23's car. I said yes no prob, on the ride there she says the car has no gas in it and shes not sure if she can make it home. I said sorry to hear that... I did not offer to buy gas for her. Its not that I dont care but these are things she needs to understand that I am not going to be there to help with anymore.
I have been off of work for the last 3 weeks and i am loving it, I delegated more work through my employees and its been nice to get some stuff done around the house. I have been running everyday and feel great.
I will stop down at the Social club tonight, its always fun, meet new people, play some darts.
Busy weekend plans, fund raiser event Friday night, saturday big party at the social club. Sunday will take a ride to my parents house in the country, spend a few days there. Moms cooking is always on point!
D23 moved into her appartment and she is very happy and so am I, this is a good thing. D19 is complaining a little bit about not have a car for the summer but unfortuately I cannot afford a car for her for 2 months.
S22 and S21 are progressing very nicely at their careers and their futures look great. Both are Law enforcement.
For any newcomer reading this thread, I can tell you this, it has been 1 year and i am finally at peace. I learned that sometimes you need to be by yourself, its ok to do things by yourself.
I do not know whats happing with my sitch because I dont ask, at all, I ASK HER NOTHING! I validate and move on. I still cannot believe we are not D'ed I do not know what stopped/slowed down the process. Again I dont ask... why? because it doesnt matter.If she proceeds with D then I'm good, if she wants to R then I'm good..
Either way I will be just fine.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
That the D hasn't progressed is not surprising. Likely your WAW and a rare burst of WAW energy and filed, and now has done nothing else to advance the D.
I told you why. This is classic WW/WAW behavior. The idyllic concept of being free and on your own is better than the reality of D process and coparenting post-D. Once reality starts to set in they cool their heels really fast on the D.
If your D is to progress it will likely be you that has grown tired of her act and moves it forward.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
That the D hasn't progressed is not surprising. Likely your WAW and a rare burst of WAW energy and filed, and now has done nothing else to advance the D.
I told you why. This is classic WW/WAW behavior. The idyllic concept of being free and on your own is better than the reality of D process and coparenting post-D. Once reality starts to set in they cool their heels really fast on the D.
If your D is to progress it will likely be you that has grown tired of her act and moves it forward.
I have thought abut this daily for a very long time...
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
I disagree with Steve. Taking pressure slows the process down but in most cases the end result is still D.
What I will say is that because she is not on the fast train out there is a good chance there is no A.
LH, I don't see this as in disagreement with what I said, but an aspect of what I said. In my sitch backing off and taking the pressure off CAUSED my W to start to see the reality of D. In fact, as I embraced the idea of inevitable D, she backed off of it at almost the same rate. So it is often times a combination of the LBS letting go AND the reality of D sobering up the WAS.
I agree with your last assessment to, with one caveat. There is a good chance there is no A NOW. There could have been one at the time of BD, but it ran its course and ended.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I disagree with Steve. Taking pressure slows the process down but in most cases the end result is still D.
Then I should just go push the D through as fast as possible? or wait it out DB like crazy and see if things turn around.
Originally Posted By: LH19
What I will say is that because she is not on the fast train out there is a good chance there is no A.
I really never had any proof she was in an A, but we all know that something is going on that they believe there is something better for them out there.
M:52 W:49 D:26 S:24 S:23 D:20 ILYBNILWY 5/28/17 Still living together W filed 1/5/18 W moved out 8/24/18 D final 9/18/20
