If you are not in the friend zone you definitely are going to put yourself in it.
You remind me of a poster chris19 who came to the board asking advice on every text.
When she reaches out assume she wants to see you and make a date. Invite her over and cook dinner for her and have her pick up a bottle of wine. She has to make an effort here. Remember she dumped you. She has to earn another chance.
Your posts are frustrating because so many people here would love to be in your situation and you are going to blow it based on fear.
Well WAW just texted me about 5 minutes ago just sharing a funny picture. I suppose I will just reply with an LOL unless you guys think I should do otherwise. Thanks again also for your invaluable insight...you are all such great people here!!
Find something pithy about the picture and text back.
Ask doodler he would Know!
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I know LH but I think asking her to a concert to see a band she lcves was pretty much doing that. She declined. Like Arista said, I have taken initiative a couple times. Well V the pic is sexual in nature as it's a meme of penis candles with a funny saying LOL!! So I can take this ball and run in several different directions so I need to be careful LOL! There's a couple wise ass things I want to say about it but pondering if I should say something funny but sexual to her. After all, she sent me a pic of this nature on her own LOL! Makes me wonder why she thought of me in terms of such subject matter LOL! Hmmmmmm...
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Yeah, I think she has been hinting at things all along. I am sorry but when a woman invites you into bed with her, even with the preface of "not for sex or anything" I think that is a clear green light to take things to a physical level.
This picture as you describe it just reinforces my belief in what I just said.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
P.S. Along these lines, years ago, my XGF I mentioned before had me come over to her BF's house. He was out of town and she wanted me to hang out with her as she house sat. About 1am, I said "Well I need to go." She begged me to stay the night. I declined. I just didn't feel comfortable staying over in another guy's house with HIS GF.
Several years later she said that she had plans for me that night. Again, I am not sure I entirely believe it due to our history, but I think she asked you to stay the night, even with some liquid encouragement, for a reason.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Come on man! Your ExW is throwing herself at you and you are still DBing her. I think you have passed DB. You DBed her already and did a great job.
She invited you over for tequila and then let you sleep over. She is showing clears signs of wanting more than just a friendship. But you are behaving like you want her as a friend.(we know you want more, but what do you think she is perceiving from your actions?) She text you and you wait to text her back. Why? Why are you waiting, that's a DBing technique not a recon one. She's reaching for you and you aren't moving towards her. If you keep up what you are doing in my opinion she might give up.
You are waiting for her to tell you she wants to be with you (outright), well what woman really says that. Not many. They tell you through their actions.
She left you and now you are waiting on her to tell you she wants to be back with you.
I think you need to ask her if she wants to be with you, because it's what you want. If she says no, then she was going to say no anyway. She has had 4 years to decide if she wanted to be back in your life and wanting you back in hers. If she didn't want you back in her life, she wouldn't be around now.
If we go off what you post, and we go off your W actions, which is a huge philsophy around here, then your W actions is speaking wanting you back in her life.
Pls stop DBing your W and treat her like a person you want to date. She wants you, start acting like you want her.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
Well Steve my WAW is a perpetually confusing one. She was always up front and forward when it came to sex so I would think she would have made it more obvious if that was her intent. But maybe not...that's the problem here, it's all speculation. She could be waiting for me to make a move, or not. That's the issue here and that's why people here seem to be on one side or the other in terms of advice. For now I need to reply to this meme with something. I have to come up with something awesome.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
IH, I see a man waiting on the woman to lead.. that's not a good look by the way. If the picture is sexual in nature respond in kind, stand by it and own it. It's like you are waiting for permission... Be the action man and own it..
Just also add, if you are man with options are you going to be afraid of loosing one by being forward? I have learnt that the 'friend zone' is something men but themselves into. If you really want a relationship, you have to be willing to loose the friendship. It almost sounds if you are afraid of rejection..
