Well my first match didn't send me a text message so she timed out on me. I could have extended it another 24 hrs but I'm not desperate so if you can't or don't want to respond in 24 hrs then your not worth it anyway.
So it's been a week, had 1 match, and no conversations yet with any ladies. Not overly successful but it has been fun tipping my toe in the water. My friends tell me to just be patient and that over time things will even out. I might also be a tad to picky as well. I had a couple of female friends and a buddy that was on the site check out my profile and pics and they said it all looks good.
My female friend showed me her match que and she had like 60 matches and 4 convo's going. It seems to me the ladies are overwhelmed and since I am new to the site they may have not see my profile especially if they are in active conversations with other dudes.
You are so many steps ahead of me in this process, but I am following your adventures online with a bit of jealousy (which I was there) and great interest. I did a lot of online dating in the pre-smartphone era back in the 2000's. I ended up getting lots of dates, but only one that turned into an actual R (not the W, met her in person).
It is definitely a lot more frightening to do it our age!
W 34 Me 42 Married 7 years together 8 0 kids 1 beloved dog BD 4/6/2018 I moved out 4/7/2018 I moved back in alone 8/05/2018 I file 3/06/2019 D official 5/7/2019
Well my first match didn't send me a text message so she timed out on me. I could have extended it another 24 hrs but I'm not desperate so if you can't or don't want to respond in 24 hrs then your not worth it anyway.
So it's been a week, had 1 match, and no conversations yet with any ladies. Not overly successful but it has been fun tipping my toe in the water. My friends tell me to just be patient and that over time things will even out. I might also be a tad to picky as well. I had a couple of female friends and a buddy that was on the site check out my profile and pics and they said it all looks good.
My female friend showed me her match que and she had like 60 matches and 4 convo's going. It seems to me the ladies are overwhelmed and since I am new to the site they may have not see my profile especially if they are in active conversations with other dudes.
I got my male friend on Bumble this weekend, who is recently single. He was scratching his head a little about why he has barely any matches or messages on any sites. I explained that is the absolute norm for guys. Men are typically the agressors. And I will admit, because I get so many messages, I don't pursue anyone on my own, I just weed through what I have.
So, it is a slow go for guys. It's completely normal. I get a sh!t ton of hits and none quality. So trust me, you would rather not have to make a full time job out of weeding through the losers.
Honestly, try Match. Bumble is so superficial and is for hook-ups. It doesn't limit who can send a message and at least there is a profile to go off of. When I go to message a guy in bumble I have nothing to say except something about his looks because there is no info on there, and that is not a good convo starter.
Don't be discouraged. Everyone seems to have a friend for whom online dating is like shooting fish in a barrel, but I suspect most of the time it's an urban myth. Just like anything else, it takes time, especially if you're being picky.
Oh, and don't compare yours to a woman's. The ones you are selectively choosing get deluged with men clamoring for their attention.
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17
And I will admit, because I get so many messages, I don't pursue anyone on my own, I just weed through what I have.
Thanks G....I guess that is why the only people interested in me are not someone (by looks) that I would consider dating. I assume they are the ones that the guys don't swipe on
Well my first match didn't send me a text message so she timed out on me. I could have extended it another 24 hrs but I'm not desperate so if you can't or don't want to respond in 24 hrs then your not worth it anyway.
OK so here's some advice from my stint in online dating. This comes from the women I went out with, I would always ask them what worked and didn't work about my profile, and the profiles of others, and about how their other online dating experiences had gone:
Be aggressive. If you are sitting around waiting for women to contact you, ain't gonna happen. Women get TONS of messages, so you've got to go with something other than "hey beautiful" if you want to get your foot in the door. Comment on something you read in their profile so they know you didn't only look at their pics.
Don't post a sappy, pathetic profile description. Look at what others post and strive to post something WAY more interesting. Do some research on Google on profile recommendations, it makes a huge difference when you post something that draws someone in.
DON'T post 10 selfies to your profile. Selfies say "loser who has no friends and never goes anywhere". Post action shots of you out doing interesting things- in a museum, hanging out in a restaurant with friends, kayaking, hiking, painting, whatever. Get someone else to take the pics, even if it's just a passerby. If you have beautiful female friends then take pictures with them and post them (with their permission of course). The idea is to make yourself look valuable, interesting and exciting.
DON'T post pictures of yourself with your car or motorcycle.
DON'T post half naked pics of yourself, and for god's sake don't send nudes when you start communicating. Be tasteful, classy, a gentleman.
Be patient. If you message someone and she doesn't message you back right away, don't send her hate mail (you would be amazed at how often that happens).
And here is my number one suggestion- DON'T TAKE REJECTION PERSONALLY. If someone doesn't reply to your message, or they reply and say not interested, move on to the next half dozen. Maybe you don't have enough hair, or too much hair, or you are too young or too old or too short or too tall or look like some relative she doesn't like. You never know and it doesn't matter. Your goal is to find the one (or ones) that are like "oh hell yeah this is what I'm looking for." This is a game of numbers, you will talk to 100 before getting 2 or 3 really good dating candidates.
Oh one more suggestion, push to meet ASAP. One face-to-face meeting is worth a thousand texts. You cannot and will not get to know that person until you meet them. You'll just never know if the chemistry is there until you meet. I would usually suggest lunch or dinner or drinks in a public place. It usually only took 10 minutes or so to figure out if they were worth pursuing.
