Well LH I thought about exactly that and was going to ask about that very thing here soon...that is, at what point can I be the initiator and ask her to do something. I'm quite sure if I was to ask her over she'd come...i think she's starting to want to see our/my cat too actually as she mentioned giving the cat a kiss for her recently.
Steve I think we are very close to that point now. I suspect within a couple more meetings with her the subject of R will come up. I don't think it's just yet, but within a month or so I think the conversation needs to be had. For no other reason than moving on with our romantic lives one way or another. She will have to understand though that if I get involved with someone else down the road, I'm not going to be able to hang out with her very much as I'm sure whomever I am with would understandably not be comfortable with me hanging with my ex wife whom I spent 20 years with. I certainly wouldn't be comfortable with that myself if a new girl was doing that with her ex.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
I wouldn't bring up a R talk. Next time she reaches out, invite her over and ask her to pick up a bottle of wine. Make dinner and make your move. If she accepts you know where the R is headed and no need to put pressure on her. If she rebuffs you know where the R is headed and you can decide what you want to do from there.
I second LH. I wouldn't 'talk' about the R. Making a move is just much more assertive and you show your intentions. If she rebuffs you, you still got things going on in your life and you can make a decision on how you want to proceed.
Just thinking about sitting down and 'talking' about the R sounds very beta and needy to me. Kinda like 'hey, do you want to be with me, cuz I want to be with you'. If I was going to 'talk' to her I'd probably say something like - "So, are we gonna f#$k and take it to the next level or what?"... hehe! If she rebuffs, I'd finish my glass of wine and say in a very pleasant voice - "it was nice to reconnect and see you. I am heading upstairs and you can see yourself out when you're done. Good night".. lol
Hahaha good points guys! Yeah scratch the R talk...that sounds pitiful the way you guys worded it "Do you want to be with me?" LOL! Pitiful in retrospect.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Yeah, the way Maika worded it is pathetic. But you can still say you aren't looking to waste time so what it is you are looking for, in way that you are taking the bull by the horns and demanding no nonsense.
Again, I am at the point in life where I no longer beat around the bush. I spent my late teen and early 20s being led around by the nose by a girl that just wanted to be friends. If I could go back and kick the 20 yearold Steve85 in the behind I would and tell him to tell her to pee or get off the pot.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
i don't think you should push for the R talk yet... and i also am not part of the group that thinks fear is holding her back... i don't see her as the Princess coming out of the castle and then running back in... i have never thought that... but i could be wrong... anyway--i am enjoying reading your exchanges with her... if you see her while she is gardening on Saturday, perhaps at some point, you can suggest a movie or a restaurant... and you can even suggest going together on an upcoming weeknight... see how she responds...
Thanks as always for all the great advice guys. I just woke up and saw that WAW had texted me. She's asking if I want to hang out later today. Had a feeling this was coming the other night.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Hi V, Sure I don't see any reason not to. I'll have to have a look at what bands are playing tonight or maybe I'll think of something else she'd likely enjoy.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Well it seems like she already had plans for our activities tonight. Before I could even ask her to do something she asked me if I want to help her make a fire in the fire pit and that she had tequila. So I think she had a plan on place already for us to hang by a fire.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
