I'm with zues here. Just 6-7 weeks ago you ended your previous relationship. There is NO way XW contacted you the next day just to become friends. She want you as much as you want her. But she is probably just as insecure as you are. Neither of you want to get hurt here. She needs to be comfortable with you before she makes a proper move.
Slow and steady wins the race here.
M:46 WXW:40 T:20 M:13 D3,D8,D10 BD:11/12/16 D:12/14/16 OM confirmed 01/20/17
Yes Btrow I too like Zues' line of thinking and it clearly most accurately describes my sitch. He obviously is familiar with my WAW since I started posting here.
As far as your remarks about WAW contacting me the day after my recent breakup with Mary... THAT is the biggest mystery to me to-date!! What was her motive here? Sure she wanted to get my photos back to me but I doubt she found them at that point. I think she had them for awhile before that contact. Surely if you want to just be friends with someone it doesn't matter whether they are in a relationship or not...so was it coincidence she happened to text me for the first time in 2 years 24 hours after my split with Mary? But that is really the center of all of this...that initial contact from WAW that has led to this regular communication with her that she seems to want to maintain with me. Are her motives friendship with me ...she may say that...but I think she, like me, just wants to see where our new relationship goes.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Hi all, Just an update. WAW just texted me to tell me she watched a documentary tonight on a musical artist that we liked. Not the same band as the concert Monday though. She also said we should work together on a writing project and write a book. I haven't replied yet. Any thoughts on what I should reply with? Zues? Arista?
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Hi all, Just an update. WAW just texted me to tell me she watched a documentary tonight on a musical artist that we liked. Not the same band as the concert Monday though. She also said we should work together on a writing project and write a book. I haven't replied yet. Any thoughts on what I should reply with? Zues? Arista?
How about:
"A book?!? LOL. Sounds kinda interesting. What would we write a book about? And more importantly, who's name would be listed first on the cover? :)"
This way you reply and keep it going, but you leave the ball in her court. Give her an opportunity to 'title the book'. Who knows, maybe give her an opportunity to think about last names a little.
Thoughts?
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
Love it! Even though we had no kids she kept my last name. I will reply now sir. Thank you Zues!
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
OH MAN! This was the best chat with her yet! We talked about some things that are bothering her and how she has been having trouble sleeping. I gave her some emotional support. Then once she said "Thanks I needed that tonight! " I said you're welcome. Then I told her I had to go to the store and I would chat at her later. I told her I hope she sleeps. She sent back "lol okay be safe TTYl" and added a blushy smiley. Early on in our chat, she did hint that she plans to spend Saturday planting in her garden. I could be wrong but I think in her head, she had decided she wants me there on Saturday. As I said I could be wrong...but I'm going to go ahead and predict she invited me over Saturday. We'll see. As always thank you for the advice and I'll keep you updated.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Well LH, that's the million dollar question. I am leaning towards romantic simply because of some points made by other posters above and also the fact that she is quite literally relentless now when it comes to contacting me. Just when I think a good amount of time will likely pass before I hear from her again...bang, she texts. It's at a point now where it's two or three times a week. Also this book project idea she has tells me she wants to spend a significant amount of time with me going forward.
I think, as others here have said, the impediment isn't feelings, but fear. But as Btrow said above, she didn't contact me about a photo album 24 hours after my split with Mary to simply be friends. That makes sense to me. Slow and steady will win this race and I think Btrow is right in with that.
One thing is for sure...WAW is always the one to initiate texting me... always...I never text her first. I have other "friends" who don't text me as much as WAW has been. I think things are starting to progress to the point where soon it will be time to take your advice and make my move. Not just yet...but soon. She clearly wants me in her life and by expressing interest in working on s lengthy project such as a book tells me she wants to spend significant more time with me. That's how is see it at this point anyway.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
I still say that a straightforward discussion with her about where this is heading and what she wants out of it should happen sooner rather than later. No sense is wasting time if she is just wanting to be friends. Not sure how you feel, but if I D my W, and she started wanting to be friends to this point I think I would tell her that I have plenty of friends, that I'd be interested in reconnecting if she is, but nothing less.
Of course, I am a little older than you so maybe my outlook on time is different than yours.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
" I said you're welcome. Then I told her I had to go to the store and I would chat at her later. I told her I hope she sleeps. She sent back "lol okay be safe TTYl" and added a blushy smiley.