You can't contact your W about the D can you? It sounds to me like the judge is going to be the ruling party in your situation. Do you think there is any way you and your W could come up with an agreement that doesn't involve the judge?
I know you have TRO in place. Does that restrict you from contacting her about the D?
The only thing i could do would be contact MIL about it, and i know she wont help me at all, shes just as petty and vindictive as her wretched daughter.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
What is your current parenting plan and are you giving her any money? Is there a wage difference? How are the bills currently divided? How long has this been in place?
What is your current parenting plan and are you giving her any money? Is there a wage difference? How are the bills currently divided? How long has this been in place?
What is your current parenting plan - Nothing in stone, but this is what we've been doing since seperation in Oct. this is based around her schedule, as she works till 8pm
Sun - I pickup at 10am and have him all day and night
Mon - I drop off at school, meet up with MIL at 6pm to drop him off
Tues - She drops him at school, i pick him up and bring him to my grandparents so i can go to my fire dept meetings. She shows up around 8:45pm to pick him up (wayyy to late)
Wed - She has him All day, this is her day off, she brings him to school and goes out with OM instead of being with him on this day.
Thursday - She drops him at school in AM, i pick him up and have him overnight
Friday - I have him all day and night
Sat - I meetup with MIL and drop him off with them. Rinse and repeat.
Are you giving her any money? - No, we have just been alternating weeks to pay for daycare. Other than that i buy all i need for him, and so does she. We just arranged to split a doctors bill when its due.
How are the bills currently divided? - See Above
How long has this been in place? - Since October 14th 2017
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
It looks like to me it is pretty 50/50 already if not leaning to you having him more. I would definitely make sure the judge is aware and let him know what your financial arrangement is and how all of the above has been in place for around 7 months.
Anything you can do and show to hopefully have him award 50/50 custody vs following state mandates.
I am certainly not a legal expert just sharing what I learned.
Where I live someone always pays support if there is a wage discrepancy even if coverage is 50/50. If not and someone is awarded full custody then obviously that person is paying.
IMO your best bet is that judge awards 50/50 or full custody to you. I think in either of those scenarios you would be paying the lowest amount of support or none if you get full custody. This is assuming you make more than your W if 50/50 and if you got full custody then I assume your W follow the state law for support.
If the judge gives your W full custody then I assume the standard visitation rights would apply along with the state law of child support. Where I live it is 20% for 1 child, 25% for 2 and 30% for 3.
Again, I am not a legal expert but since you two can't or won't have the opportunity to reach an agreement on your own it sounds like the judge is going to decide.
I definitely think you already having 50/50 is in your favor. That is very positive to me.
i am very concerned about the TRO thing making the whole process bias, considering i wasnt actually charged or plead guilty, and i didnt do anything, but it makes me look like an abuser.....
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Or it calls it into question since you still have 50/50 with your S. I don't think that would happen if you were an abuser they would have made some temporary custody changes as well. IMO
