Steve85 & Ste7e you both have valid points. My stance on religion is that my W met me in church. Persued me. Had her 1st marriage annulled for us to marry. Married me at church- then renewed our vows at 10 years. And recently I've noticed books on fortune telling, card readings, mediums, how to become a medium an channeling, healing rocks , numerology. Everything the church is against. I just feel so deceived -thinking I was marring a Godly woman who now is becoming a pagan. This is not what I signed up for.
The New Testament is full of warnings and examples of falling away. Paul told the congregation at Galatia "I marvel that ye are so soon removed from him that called you into the grace of Christ unto another gospel". In another place he said "take heed lest ye fall".
She was Godly at one time and has fallen away. That doesn't mean she won't come back some day. The question is how much time can you give her to see the light?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
In my walk with God. What I have come to realize is that it's not how much time do I have but it is always and will be on God's time. Based on his master plan. His will be done. What messages I read in scripture is that you LOVE unconditionally as Christ loves. Agape love -far greater than any emotion. Christ also taught us to hate the sin and love the sinner. In His words" what so ever you do to the least of my people- that you do unto me". My game plan is and always will be now to be the best me for God, myself and my S. Should my W choose to walk with Christ and I -it will be her choice b/c she has free will. If you remember earlier this year that Valentines day and Ash Wednesday fell on the same day. This is when I told my S that the date was appropriate for me because Valentines day although a commercialized day for Love fell on the first day of Lent. For those that are not familiar with Lent. it is a time where you reflect, fast and do alms giving and to be Christ like and give up something to emulate what Jesus did. It is on this Lenten day that I told my W that in the worldly sense of lent ( meaning to borrow and give back) . For lent I was giving her up and I was placing her at the foot of the cross to give back to GOD and it was now up to her with her free will to choose to continue this walk with me and God. For me now my objectives are to be the best me for God, myself and my S. The rest is yet to be seen. I will be praying for everyone here. I thank you for your prayers in return. God Bless!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
Just for reference, I'm not Catholic. However you do make a good point about living unconditionally. However caution that doesn't mean accepting everything. Christ loves unconditionally but doesn't accept sin. He is the ultimate lighthouse, loving is when we go astray hoping we'll come back to him.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
For all the mothers here I want to wish you all a Happy Mothers Day. May your days be blessed with happiness.
As for me W is coming home today. She did not give me a specific time so I don't know if I should have dinner made or not. Yesterday was a pretty good day b/c S and I went to see the new Avengers movie then we went to dinner at one of his favorite places. Lots of special effects in the movie. Gonna be a roller coaster week b/c W is moving out. Wish me luck!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
W came home late last nite. I was already in bed. Woke up to drive S to school W was up said morning and did my thing. She was getting her coffee and watching TV. Dropped my S to school went to the gym- got some comments from women on my new haircut and how good I was looking. Man does that feel good again!! I came home W was home she said she was taking the week off to move. As I was grabbing a bite - trying for minimal contact- She starts with the " how was your week?". Then "what did you guys do? ""What else happened". tried to keep my answers as vague and brief as possible then i made sure give her my full attention before i abruptly said " I need to get some stuff done- I better get movin" . So I upped and went while trying to be positive. I can tell you that this morning I had a pit in my stomach knowing that i had to face my W. From this brief encounter I guess I had to fake it till I made it!! Anyways so far that is how my day is going. If you guys see any room for improvement please let me know. Thanks!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
Thanks for the support S85 and Vanilla- I need all the help I can get.
As for moving out - I did my job search -finished and had an appointment for my dog. When I came back in , I saw W was packing boxes and had some stacked by the front door. I started preparing dinner. Looked like W wanted to talk. She asked me where I was?
I said the vet. while i kinda stopped what Iwas doing as to give her my full attention and trying to stay positive and calm while inside it was killing me to see her pack and prepare to leave just like that. She then asked why- I said to get the dogs allergy pills and his seasonal flea and tick medication.
She then said She was gonna be in and out today moving her boxes to storage. And If I could put in an extra 2 pieces of chicken for her. I said sure. I was also trying to think of ways to validate but no instances came up. Then she made reference to my sons baseball game where I will be coaching. She said she can walk the dog tonight if I don't take him. I said Thanks.
On a side note I feel that she has made no effort to reach out to S almost like she no longer has that maternal instinct to bond and keep this relationship with him. I still don't get it.
As she is leaving she says she has hired 2 guys to help he move Thursday morning. Not what I wanted to hear but - I just stayed positive and said ok then. Then again I said I better get get cracking i got a game to prepare for. so i upped and left. Man i hope I am doing this right?
So now it looks like she is in the final stages of moving out. My focus as always is myself , my S, DB, 180, LRT and validate. Can I do anymore? Thanks again.
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
S85 thanks so much for taking great interest. Vanilla - I so value your response coming from a womans perspective.
Yesterday night went ok. I had to coach my S baseball team and when S came home from school W was gone. S and I had dinner and headed to his game. During this bad period after BD I had felt I have lost my ability to laugh. My sense of humor- it seemed to have vanished. Often times these thoughts of failure and negativity creep in and invade my mind. So the situation is, I m coaching at first base S is at the plate and stings a solid hit to right center. Now my S is a good ball player and one of the quickest on the team. The ball goes to the wall my son stands there and admires his hit. He runs to first and rounds the base and comes back to first. I say to him I am glad you got those season tickets by home plate so that you could see all the hits real good!- next time remember this is not a spectator sport , get on your horse -you should have been on third.
I look over and the 1st base ump is killing himself. Good to see my old self coming back. We won the game and we get home. W is watching TV. She sees us walk in as my dog greets us at the door. She says The school left a message on the machine that the senior band will be playing a concert on Wednesday at our main theatre did you get tickets
S takes off upstairs to go shower , I was in the process of putting the baseball stuff away in the basement and keep going. I stayed downstairs and after his shower S come to me and asks did you hear what mom asked? I said yes, you need to take ownership and be upfront with her , tell her the truth and let her know how you feel. I will go with you and I will support you. So we head up W is still watching TV and I ask for her attention b/c S wanted to address something. She lowered the volume and said Ok whats up? S said
I have a concert but I do not want you to attend because you hurt me, I hope you can respect my wishes W responds emotionless, I would have liked to see you but if that is what you want I will respect your wishes S continues upstairs. This is bothersome to me because if you have been reading my stich, the woman I married would cry at Disney movies. The S she gave birth to just told her don t come to be with me and she did not even flinch. It has been this way since BD. She has not reached out to him, not try to console him. It seems she hell bent on getting out of this relationship. She just walks around like a zombie ,no emotions. Does she not feel a shred of guilt or a sense of significant loss because my S does not want her near?
From this encounter and others like this , I am feeling less and less attracted to my W. She has put on more weight- been the heaviest I ve seen her since pregnancy (I have never said this- I know it would hurt her). She is wearing frumpy clothing and not taking care of herself. She is not following thru with our Christian beliefs. This is not the same woman I married. Is this feeling occurring because I am detaching ? Help me to understand.
Last edited by Cadet; 05/15/1812:10 AM. Reason: restored post
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
