Living the surreal life

[doodler]

Ginger,

The honest truth; as soon as I read "he was a flight attendant before masseuse" I thought, "queer as a three dollar bill." Here's the doodler assessment: his mom is nearing the end and he's never had the heart to tell her he's gay so he's dating women because his mom has been pushing him to get married before she dies. I could be wrong.

It's time to slip into my floral dress and go to work...

[Ginger1]

Ginger,

The honest truth; as soon as I read "he was a flight attendant before masseuse" I thought, "queer as a three dollar bill." Here's the doodler assessment: his mom is nearing the end and he's never had the heart to tell her he's gay so he's dating women because his mom has been pushing him to get married before she dies. I could be wrong.

It's time to slip into my floral dress and go to work...

I know, I know, I know! You have to hear his voice too. Oh my. And you are probably right about waiting for the mom to pass.

He has been working doubles this weekend, but he hasn't really communicated since yesterday. Maybe he knows I am onto him

I can't OLD anymore. Too many unknown variable that I am not mentally prepared for anymore. I am only expecting the worst anymore.

[JujuB]

The only reason i used OLD was because i had no time to meet people.

But i think the trick is to not have any expectations. Just make it about a night out socializing and what comes, comes. Keep it in the background of your very fulfilling life. At the very least it makes for funny stories with your friends amd coworkers.

My NG said he was on there for a year i think, and look how lucky he got when one day i posted to him! (Joke... partially) but it does happen.

[Dawn70]

Totally agree with Juju about OLD. You have to go in with absolutely ZERO expectations, which is virtually impossible. I used it because I live in a fairly small town and it is hard to meet single people. OLD hasn't necessarily helped that, but I met Sparky online, so there is that. LOL

[DonH]

Oh sure here we go again with me agreeing with Doodler but I too after reading about the flight attendant thing thought, um hmmm that's interesting. I do have to disagree on the mom pushing him to get married. What, married for the fourth time? What sence would that make?

As for bringing it up, yeah you can, I guess, I just highly doubt that will net anything. If he's this much in denile he's not going to reveal that which is so deep down.

I've not kept track G but this may be the 221st time you've said you are giving up OLD. Just sayin.

I remember when I met in some ways one of the only women I've actually been really interested in over the past few years, one of the things that attracted me to her was our talk about OLD. This lady is very, very sharp and perhaps too smart for her own good - data scientist sharp. When she called OLD the "land of misfit toys" I was like OMG YES!!!! G is that not true? The land of misfit toys is what you and I have both found OLD. Now even misfit toys can be fun to play with now and then but...

I still think it's good you have gone and are going out with these guys. Yeah you are not finding the huge romance you are looking for but I'll bet your date on Friday was more fun than the Sunday you describe. Right? So it is not a love connect, that's okay. It was still fun as have been some of the other misfits. They are just not your favorite toys or your love connection. That's okay.

Not sure what to tell you about OLD. I can say that for me, I have been happier not doing that anymore. I'm still getting about the same result but no frustration. Not sure if that's the case for you or not. Honestly I think you should give the PT kid his older woman expierence. That's just me. .

[kml]

G - just curious. Are most of your OLD dates guys YOU contacted, or guys that contacted you?

I'm wondering because in my case, it was about 50:50, or maybe even more skewed towards me contacting them.

Now that does have some built in problems - perhaps I was more likely to wind up with avoidant men that way - but also meant that most of the guys I met for coffee were actually guys I was likely to be interested in (because, after all, I picked them!).

Also - I used OkCupid, which gives percentages for compatibilty based on your questionnaire answers. I knew I could exclude anyone who had any significant "percent enemy" (which usually meant wildly divergent views on politics or sex) and the closer to 90% or above compatibility, the greater the likelihood that I would like them.

[Ginger1]

I've been online dating for YEARS. I've tried every site (bot not tinder), I've been the intitiator, and the responder. When doing this for years, you become very jaded having nothing come close to working out. Then when you deal with so many wackadoos, you get jaded. Zero expectation? Well, yes, at this point I have zero expectations of having a decent experience.

The gay one seems to have ghosted to me too.

I swear, I am for real done. I am really just deflated.

On the lighter side, I told my PT about my date and we cracked up. She said she is bringing me by her house to go out to change my scenery of men. She is recently single herself. Then I brought a Met's cup to PT guy and he was very flattered. He didn't realize it was a date until tonight, and he actually looked jealous! Then he saw my FB post today about me wanted to put a bike hitch on my car, and he was looking them up online, the make and model of my car, and wants to help me.

It really just feels cruel.

Oh, and today the manager wanted to meet with me to "check-in" the good news is that people apparently really like me. But she wants me to dress more "professional" WTF? I wear dresses and stuff. My wardrobe was fine in corporate. My counterpart who is in her 60's and has been there for many years wears suits everyday. when I told her she laughed. She said "I am old, you are young, she doesn't understand what young professional is"

So now, I've got to buy new really dressy clothes I guess. which I will be putting a lab coat over anyways?

Just ranting on here.

I need some more endorphins, I am down.

[kml]

Have you tried letting a girlfriend pick your online dates for you? Couldn't be worse, right? I know my girlfriend just doesn't pick up the clues that I do from their profiles.

PT totally has a crush on you. Just enjoy it.

As for the work dress code - what do you think she's really telling you? Is it code for "you look too young" or "you look too hot" or "your boobs are distracting "? Could some simple lightweight 50"s style cardigans transform some of those dresses into more conservative outfits?

[Ginger1]

Yup, I let my girlfriends pick too. No one is who they say they are online, though. I am realizing that is happening to me anyways. I have been totally ghosted by gay guy out of nowhere. No indications that he would be one to do that.

I actually dress really nice at work. I hate dressing up, but I have to. Since I despise wearing pants that aren't leggings I wear nice skirts and I have an obsession with dresses. I am trying ot figure out what it was. I have boobs and I butt but I am conservative in dress. nothing revealing ever To note, though: said manager came to work in t-shirt with a sugar shell on it today?!? Maybe it is because I look young and I don't dress "old", I dunno. But I always do makeup and hair professionally too.

Anyways, I was in bad mood this morning and I sorta took it out on my D. She did something I had asked her a million times over not to do, and I just lost it. I apologized. But I feel bad. I think I am going to take her out for ice cream tonight.

Some days its too much to take on alone, but hey, I have been taking on everything alone for 10 years, and I have everything much more calm, cool, and collected in the past 5 years, even when I want to scream and rip my hair out. I am forgiving myself for this bad morning.

[Coconut]

said manager came to work in t-shirt with a sugar shell on it today?!?

Would have been the perfect time to re-open the conversation, asking to clarify what she means by more professional.

for what it's worth, the type of woman I'm meeting on OLD doesn't seem any better than the type of men you describe and meet with. I find myself having to remember that I'm a good catch and don't have to settle, but definitely wonder if i'll ever find someone whose equally or even close to as good a catch (I can't even seem to find a woman with a job).