I feel good that I avoided any conflict in a very emotionally loaded situation and have decided to go completely dark until she reaches out to see me. Lets see how long this takes.
M 40 W 34 Together 7 Married 2 No Kids BD 1/18 need space Moved out 2/18 ILYBNILWY & Asked for D 3/18 W filed for D 6/18 D final 10/18
Good for you. We all screw up and some even admit it. We need to acknowledge when we do well, especially in tence anticipated situations.
Watch the small talk and following. I'm sure it is all in good context but stay aware.
Saying ILY in the context of a R talk is not the same as the persuasive ILY in hopes of getting a response. Do you see the difference? Maybe others will chime in.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
Yeah thanks for the tip on being mindful of the small talk and following. I would also like to know about saying ILY in R talks being ok...seemed like in the context I needed to say it to make my stance. But at this point I have said all I had to say now I wait.
M 40 W 34 Together 7 Married 2 No Kids BD 1/18 need space Moved out 2/18 ILYBNILWY & Asked for D 3/18 W filed for D 6/18 D final 10/18
W on her way to work. H says ILY, there is an implied need for a response.(Pursuing)
H and W having a R talk. H in the context of the discussion says "ILY but I'm not going to ......whatever." That is simply a profession. As long as it is not pursuing and that obviously means infrequent. It is said as a disclosure. If this is confusing, just don't say it.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
W on her way to work. H says ILY, there is an implied need for a response.(Pursuing)
H and W having a R talk. H in the context of the discussion says "ILY but I'm not going to ......whatever." That is simply a profession. As long as it is not pursuing and that obviously means infrequent. It is said as a disclosure. If this is confusing, just don't say it.
The confusing part can be for the WAS/WS. The problem with saying ILY isn't just the implication of looking for a response, but also it reminds the WAS that they don't love you, at least they don't think they do in their WA state.
The best rule of thumb is to just not say it. Whether it is pursuing or not it is pressure, and you want to alleviate as much pressure on the WAS as possible.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
