I texted his mom and asked her if he left the money with her. She said no, but try calling him. She keeps pushing me to talk with him. She wants us to work out and I think she thinks if we are around one another that things will fall into place. She said he goes to work at one, so I'm kinda doubting that I hear from him.
As stated before, he was somehow going to get me money today. The text fro. Yesterday was vague so I was kinda unsure if I'd hear from him.
I was picking up my daughter from preschool and on the way home and he rings in. I let it go to vm but he called right back. So I answered. "Where are you?" Was his words. I explain and he's irritated and starts complaining. He was upset that I wasn't home when he felt that we had agreed he would be coming. I calmly respond that I was sorry, that he never confirmed and I didn't know what time that he was going to work. He was still irritated. Saying that I never message, I'm short when I do, I won't come get the money he has to bring it etc. He ends up saying he would call me tomorrow. I thought he hung up, but he didn't. He repeats it then hangs up on me. I calmly call back and say that we are literally 2 min away. He says ok.
I hate to admit, but I start laughing to myself. I know what I have been doing is working. It's dang near killled me (lol) but it's working. I remind myself before I get home to no matter what stay relaxed and chill and pleasant. Earlier this morning I made sure my hair looked good just in case.
He was here for 45 min talking. He kept saying he had to leave - but kept talking. I just let him talk. I could tell him didn't want to leave. He kept telling the baby goodbye but then would stay. I finally grabbed the baby at the end and said daddy had to leave.
After he left he texted how good that I looked, noticing how much weight I have lost. I responded thank you. He sent another kiss face emoji.
I think what I'm doing is making him think.
Oh.... as he got in the car, he said "call me if anything. But not that you ever do." He looked me in the eye with a sad face. Smh.
After my last update, he kept texting. That lead to him coming over after work and staying the night. I know, completely against the rules. But, I do feel like it was the right thing to do. I think with me being distant had him really wondering about the situation. When he woke up he was all about talking. Not about us, but just everything. I listened and let him talk. He was actually talking about things we would be doing in the future and when he was talking about other convos he had had, he was still referring to me as his. So I do think that though he hasn't mentioned coming home, that he is highly considering it. I'm still gonna wait for him to text. I think that will be best for now.
After he left he texted how good that I looked, noticing how much weight I have lost. I responded thank you. He sent another kiss face emoji.
I think what I'm doing is making him think.
Sure sounds like it! Nice work!
Quote:
Oh.... as he got in the car, he said "call me if anything. But not that you ever do." He looked me in the eye with a sad face. Smh.
Does he do a lot of passive/aggressive stuff like that? Just ignore it, he's pouting and trying to get you to agree to hang on as Plan B.
Quote:
That lead to him coming over after work and staying the night. I know, completely against the rules. But, I do feel like it was the right thing to do.
Here's the thing, your DB'ing has him pursuing you. You distance, he pursues. That's how it works. But you have got to be careful because if you just let him back in your bed like that then he'll be comfortable that he still has you "on the hook" and he will immediately start distancing again, and it will break your heart.
Quote:
So I do think that though he hasn't mentioned coming home, that he is highly considering it.
Possibly, but if he is, he's not serious about it yet.
Quote:
I'm still gonna wait for him to text. I think that will be best for now.
Don't wait for him to do anything. Leave him alone, assume you won't hear from him, and get busy living your life. THAT is what will bring him back.
I texted him about some bills tonight and he called rather than text. I honestly only had questions on the bills but he kept me on the phone. I literally said 3 times "well gotta go" and he kept talking.
I agree with the statement about being careful with letting him stay the night, very true. I will be honest, I'm not catching that vibe from him. I really feel like he does want us to be together but is still trying to figure things out. I'm aware that letting him back in so to speak will make him go quiet again but I as I have grown more confident it's almost as if we are switching roles so to speak. Not full blown, but I'm not as upset anymore and asking him about us. He's definitely noticed.
And when I said I'd wait for him to text, I meant as you said. I'm dealing with my own stuff and not waiting around anymore.
Also when talking about the bills, he said he was gonna help me with his first check after I started working to catch me up on anything. I was hoping that he was gonna be more here by then. So kinda bummed me out a Little but I didn't act as such.
I am fairly new to this but my understanding is by DBing it means you do not reach out to him with texts except those relating to your child and finances. All communication should brief and on point. sending him a nice text may be seen as pursuing. In regards to the bills and hoping that he was gonna be more there. You need to drop all your expectations. Only my 2 cents. Stay well.
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
I wanted to ask a question - purely curiosity behind it.
After he called last night I did send a text saying that it was nice to hear him so happy and that I was glad his job is working out for him.
He never responded to this. It's odd to me. Maybe I'm overthinking it but I would think that is a nice text?
Well yeah, it's a nice text. Unfortunately it is also pursuit and pressure, and he doesn't want pressure right now which is probably why he didn't reply. That and he thinks he "doesn't want to give you the wrong idea". Just back off and give him space. Remember what I said up above about the pursuit/ distance dynamic?
