You guys are literally cracking me up. I do think PT was doing some flirting with me. He was showing me pictures of his really nice boat too, and eluding to inviting me with the work crew one day. I figure we will technically be coworkers soon enough, since we work for the same hospital system. I should bring him to the spin class with me, but that would make for awkwardness since FF's father will be there and they know each other. Such a densely populated state but everyone knows someone who knows someone here.
I am leaning towards going, believe it or not. I realized my only two reservations about going had to do with 1) is he going to think I am going because he is? and 2) I don't want to make his sister's friends and family thing awkward.
Well, it doesn't have to be awkward. I am going to go, spin, say hi to his sister, and go. I know that I knew after I booked that he was going and there is proof if it was ever questioned, I have it and his sister does too. But who cares. I am very over him, actually. Maybe it's a sensitive date on the calendar, but it's coincidence. we will see how I feel about it come game time.
Speaking of spin classes, my date works at a gym where one of my favorite spin instructors of long time works. We are FB friends, but I haven't seen him since he switched to this gym long ago. I asked my date if he knew him and he didn't, until today. He met him at work today when spin instructor's neck was hurting and he asked him to massage it. He told me he was taking me to one of his spin classes.
I am excited for tonight. I hope all goes well and we enjoy each other's company. A baseball game where you are together for a few hours is risky, but I think we are two people who can have a good time as long as he isn't a freak, which I don't think he is.
So, Dawn, all in all, I think it is adding up to be a good weekend. I love my daughter dearly, and I miss her, but last night was the first night in 11 that she went to her Dad's. I need a Mommy time weekend.
Did I mention our Niagra trip has been booked? I think I did. My dad and stepmom are coming and I am really excited. We got a great hotel overlooking the falls. I am glad i get to take the kiddo on vacation this year. Last year it never happened.
Sooooo. We had a good time. I met his pug. I also met his mother! She's elderly and she lives with him. She also speaks very limited English. He translated for us. Her pug is creamated in a box, which she showed me. Her pug had the same name as my chihuaua.
I did end up going to his place which was on the way and he did drive. I took special precautions so my friend could track my location. He had bought the tickets, so I insisted on paying for the parking. I bought one of my own beers, and he paid the rest. Seats were good, we walked around the stadium, the Mets were getting killed, but rallied at the end and came within one run. It was fun. Learned a lot about him, he was a flight attendant before masseuse. He told me about all the famous people he has massaged (which is ALOT) and all the places he has visited. He has done some nice travelling.
Which brings me to this. I got a vibe from him. A maybe gay vibe. You knew something had to be funny about this, right? I can't explain it...... He would make a good gay friend though, lol. he is attractive. We had a kiss, kind of an awkward one. two of those closed lip kisses that you kiss your significant other goodbye with. We will probably see each other again. he said he wish he wasn't working all weekend, because he would want to hang out.
So, no sparks, but nice. I didn't feel like crying like I did the first time Mr. Softee kissed me. I was pretty neutral.
If anyone wants to know of a positive reconciliation story, IRL, a close friend and her husband have reconciled after a year and a half of separation. She was a WAW. I love her like a sister and I could not be happier. I actually cried when she told me. I am happy for her, her H and their kids. It is just an awesome happy thing to see it in front of your eyes. It does happen.
In my new job position, I deal with patients and their families, getting them set up to go home after some life-changing illness. I work in an acute rehab, and many are strokes. So they rehab as much as they can, then they go home to adapt with their new deficits. One thing I see ALOT are couples that have been married for 50, 60+ years. The love and commitment you see really exemplifies what marriage is and what it used to be. I have one H driving me absolutely nuts, but I get it, because he loves his wife so much. I talk to all of them about their marriage, they love talking about it. They all agree people run these days when they aren't "happy" they all agree "happiness" has taken on a new meaning in M. They all agree it is work, but anything that is worth having is work. They also all agree, because our society has changed so much where both parties have to work their butts off to afford anything, kids being helicoptered so much, it does really hurt marriages. No one enjoys the simple things anymore.
I wish I lived in an era where people didn't have much but they had what they needed. Marriages got a lot more attention then.
Yes agreed. But i dont necessarily think its a society thing. You and i were both raised in the same society and both of us are pro loyalty, committment, and partnership.
If this were a different time period, my guess is that we would have been very miserable with spouses that were cheating, or spending all of the families earnings on drugs/alcohol. Or both.
I think its just that we picked peoole that are not capable of partnership.
Regarding the gay vibe, i think there have been so many changes regarding sexuality just in the past 10 years. More people are coming out as polyamorous, and bisexual and even asexual? So maybe something to talk about up front (at an appropriate time) if your intuition is telling you something. You can broach it as a social commentary maybe so it gives him the opportunity to tell you what hes looking for?
I think you are right Juju. I guess I keep on trying to rationalize my sitch and what I've been seeing around me lately.
As far as the gay vibe thing, if the time is right, I might explore the conversation as you mentioned, as a social subject.
My best friend growing up I could have swore was gay. Everyone thought he was gay. My dad sure thought he was gay. He always got the hottest chicks, though. He married and has 3 kids, but you know, I still think he is gay, even though I haven't seen him in so long. He, um, kind of experimented in college. I think my vibe is usually pretty on, but I have been off, lol. I guess we will see.
I had a dream during a lovely nap I took yesterday about PT guy confessing his feeling for me and kissing me. And boy was it some kiss. But only in my dreams!
I went to my spin class today. He didn't show up. His mom and dad did though, who didn't even speak to me, because I never really met them, except for his dad for a few minutes at the last spin class we all attended. I did text his sister yesterday letting her know I am coming and to make sure she was comfortable with it. She probably told him, and he backed out I dunno.
What did I learn today? I can ride for over an hour:) I was able to do all positions, although 3rd hurt for too long. I also learned I need to start thinking about me, not about if I am going to do something and if it will upset someone else. I never intentionally hurt anyone, but I am always scared my actions my make someone else uncomfortable. I DON"T CARE! You know how many people give a crap about how their choices might affect me. Most likely none.
While the class didn't trigger me, I am very emotional today. I've been on and off crying. It's a combo of things. But this happens to me often when I have weekends completely to myself without my daughter or anyone else for that matter. I felt empowered on that bike today.... it was a big reminder how I never give up. This past year was he!! in many ways. And sometimes I just wanted to crawl under a rock and never come, I simply never gave up.
Oh, D10 was facetiming me from her dad's house and she was walking through the house with the phone. ANd my God. There isn't one visibile surface in that house. Those people are pigs. It's awful.
He married and has 3 kids, but you know, I still think he is gay, even though I haven't seen him in so long.
He still could be. I had a co-worker 17 years ago who I was certain was gay. But he was married with two kids. He was early/mid fifties then. A year ago one of my current co-workers told me "did you hear "Joe" divorced". "oh why" I asked... "he finally came out". In his mid/late sixties. So it is definitely not unthinkable that your vibe is spot on.
M:46 WXW:40 T:20 M:13 D3,D8,D10 BD:11/12/16 D:12/14/16 OM confirmed 01/20/17
So much for your ex "living the dream" - he's living in a hoarder house! Or it will get there soon!
I like the PT dream - it just means you are open to romance, not necessarily him, but someone.
I'd skip the gay guy though. Keep looking. (I've met a couple of women who were married for years before their spouse came out as gay. Trust your spider sense. Plus he was a flight attendant! )
Last edited by job; 05/07/1807:30 AM. Reason: edited a word for poster
I am open to love, although it seems that I attract priests, the gays,the pervs, and the youngins'.
I should take this all as a sign from God to just give up trying to find a partner. Just like when I got a sign from the heavens when my chute didn't open up all the way when I jumped out of a plane for my engagement.
I should probably listen to the clear as day signs.
