Living the surreal life

[Dawn70]

So, I'm going to express a different opinion and maybe even make some people mad, but I'm just going to say it.........why should you have to change YOUR plans just because FF is going to be there? Maybe I see things differently because I lived in a small town when I got a divorce, but if I had avoided places knowing my XH was going to be there, the only 2 places I could've ever gone were my house and work.

Don't get me wrong, I understand what you just said above about wanting it to be a nice day for them and all that jazz, but why can't you just go and be polite IF they say anything to you and if not, just enjoy yourself and spin away? After all, isn't the spin part of the deal why you are REALLY going anyway?

Your relationship with FF is past. You signed up for his sister's class KNOWING she's his sister and the only thing that has changed is now, all of a sudden you find out he's going to be there. If you hadn't found that out ahead of time and you had showed up and he was there, how would you handle it? Would you leave or would you stay and participate then leave?

I promise, I'm not trying to be rude or disrespectful or anything and not even really trying to convince you I'm right. Just giving you another viewpoint. You have to do what is right for you and if you think cancelling/changing is the right thing for you, by all means, do that. Whatever you do, just have fun!

[job]

Dawn,
I do not think you are being rude of disrespectful at all. Your opinion is a good one and one that Ginger needs to think about. My only concern is that the FF wound may still be raw and it may affect Ginger's having fun in the class. (I may be totally wrong in thinking that the wound is still a bit raw.)

I want to see Ginger have fun and if she thinks she can pull off being friendly, etc. while the "family" is there, then it's her call. Trying to put on a good face and not feeling uncomfortable around them may take a bit of concentration and work and then she may not really enjoy the class as much as going to a different one where there aren't so many of the FF's family there.

Ginger, can you go and be the best actress you can be while being in a room w/the FF and his family there?

[DonH]

I agree with Job and perhaps a round about way with Dawn but for different reasons. My bottom line is G should do what is best for HER. Seeing FF and family will just make her feel bad - it just will. It may appear to,THEM like she signed up to see HIM. I would not cancel to make them feel better or less self consious. It's not for or about THEM, it's about HER. Now if this was not an issue for her then Dawns points make sence but even FFs drunk texts bothered her. Why put yourself through that? Don't bother. Don't give them the satisfaction. Just cancel and go another time. Thats the smart play here.

But one year since already? Wow life goes so fast.

[kml]

Absolutely agree with what Don just said.

[Vanilla]

If it just embarrassing then I would brass it out. Go looking really amazing, new gear etc

If it's going to upset you then give it a miss.

My thoughts

V

[Zues126]

Each to their own.

Personally I wouldn't go. Some people have this thought process that if it's difficult or uncomfortable it is some type of personal growth opportunity. That's one way to look at it. It's just not mine. My way of looking at it is I don't need that in my life.

I haven't posted a ton but I'm still rooting you on G. Be well!

[Ginger1]

I knew that I would get good perspective and different perspective here.

I have been on both sides of the fence, with the exact same thought processes.

My first reaction was "Dam, I have to cancel now!" Then my next was "well that, is BS, I want to go!"

My fears in going is that he would think I was going because I knew he was going. But there is proof that I signed up for the class before she posted what she did.

We all know I can certainly go with my head up high because if I could hang around my ex and his affair partner with my head held high, I could definitely do it at a stupid cycling class. I had the though of going out and getting some new hot gym clothes (not that I can wear anything "hot" right now" and go and maybe it will motivate me to really have a good class.

Like you mentioned Zues, I have the thought process that I need to face everything difficult and uncomfortable to test my true strength. I realized with my IC that really, I don't have to do that.

I am still on the fence. It'll probably be a game time decision. I'm going to try to stay present and enjoy by baseball game tomorrow night.

Oh, and I was at PT and me and my man were talking and he was asking about exH (I was b!tching about him yesterday) he asked my story and I told him. he asked to see a pic of my ex and his new wife. All respectfully asking me if I was comfortable with it. I was. He said to me "FWIW, it was definitely his loss" He also keep eluding to how his whole family is gone for the weekend and the places he might go and hang out.

Zues, I have been thinking about you and I am glad you stopped by. I am rooting for you too, and it appears that you are doing very well.

[kml]

Awww, that PT is definitely flirting with you. .

I recommend not going to the spin class because it will hurt YOU. Why put yourself in that position? You wouldn't be going there thinking "suck it from, look what you're missing". You'd go there and analyze every word and wonder again why you weren't good enough for him (which you are, but he's an idiot). You'll feel awful no matter how it goes down, so just do something else.

[Dawn70]

As I said at the end of my last post and several others have said, you have to do whatever is best for you. You'll figure it out and you'll do what you are comfortable with. That's all you can do. Regardless of what you decide, cheers to a fabulous weekend!

[doodler]

Ginger,

I think you should get the PT guy to go with you to the spin class. Just in case your knee starts acting-up, you'd have the PT readily available to tend to your needs.