Gotdie #19: patience, trust...and hope

[Gordie]

This is a test

[Gordie]

Previous Thread:

#18: still not divorced


Patience - 3 minths since dropping the divorce complaint and getting hit by 2x4s to keep my expectations low, I am learning more about parience than I ever wished. This continues to be a process and timeline not of my choosing. And no, there was bo Hollywood reconciliation. Instead, it has been a very slow de escalation. Walls are there on both sides but i feel them coming down slowly, o so slowly.

[Gordie]

Trust - this is not ao much about trust between w and me, this is more avout my trust in God. Faith that His ways are above my ways. Trust that miracles are possible. Trust that this is worth it. Trust that this is the right thing to do. The whole letting go and letting God thing. Not losing faith. Clinging to the mustard seed.

[bttrfly]

hello my friend, i've missed reading your updates! so glad you're posts are getting through.

I hear you, completely. I had a situation I turned over about 5-6 weeks ago, and I know that I'm being led in a completely weird direction - weird as in, not any way I personally would have thought to go with it, but that is what's happening, and I'm learning that it's ok to just go with the flow and let it happen. I pray the same for you !!! xoxoxoxo

[Gordie]

Hope - so I think in the dark days of OM2, my hope died. It was then when i was pushing for the D and wanted to get the heck away from w. You guys kept telling me to let go but i...couldnt. It was when hope died thst i finally, against my will, let go...not to sce the M but...as you wise souls said, to save myself. So then, she turned away from D. I have learned the hard way that turning away from D is not the same as turning towards me or M. Time will tell, but i have felt hope again in my heart. So where am I now? I am trying to get out of PTSD and surviving to a better place where i am living life again. I know mach1 and sonmany others have been telling me this for a while...but i am a slow learner.

Thank you all for sticking with me.

No idea why my posts are working today.

Safari was bot working. I am posting from Chrome.

[SBJ]

glad to have you back Gord...hope you are having a great week.

[exquisitetobe]

GORDIE!!!!!!

It' s good to have you back..
You were missed.
I was anxious to read your update.

Your story is, in some ways, parallel to mine. There is a difference between "not wanting a divorce" and "working on a marriage."

Actions over words. Stay strong!

[Gordie]

[Gordie]

Coaching session notes

I am doing great

Keep doing what i am doing

Take care of kids

Be more open with older kids about what is going on

W is still in crisis

You cannot save her

She has to explore every path

Let her keep initiating with you

Stop doing the things a h does for a w

She does not act like a w now

Stop bending over backwards for her

She must treat you with respect

Do not protect her ftom her consequences

Be patient

This will take longer than you think

Expectations hurt you

Be compassionate

[Gordie]

Saw a friend who divorced his mlc w five years ago

Married 15 years with three kids snd joint custody

She lost weight and put on the happy face for all

He got remarried and built a new life

XW just tried to kill herself

He now has full custody of kids

Sad sad sad